Am I being selfish?

United States
September 12, 2008 6:14pm CST
So about 2 weeks ago I lost my job of 7 years. My husband told me not to worry about it and to look as it a blessing in disguise (so basically I can stay at home and take care of the house and kids). Now I have NEVER had to depend on a man to take care of anything for me so this will be a very big change for me. Now Tuesday the something goes wrong in his primary car. Thursday he finds out it will be about $1k to fix it. Now I told him that since another car that runs perfectly fine dont rush on getting the other one fixed. Especially since I am not working, that is $$ we could use elsewhere or just put aside. No. He said he "needed" to get the car fixed. B.S. Or am I being selfish?
6 people like this
18 responses
• China
12 Sep 08
oh,no,i do not think so like your husband.if my wife want to do some things she like .i would like it.this is a good saying.one coin has two sides.so you can do what you like to do.come on.go to persuvade your husband.you can.come on. we all must to do the things we want to do.that is our life.
2 people like this
@sudalunts (5527)
• United States
12 Sep 08
It was B.S., you are not being selfish. If there is a prefectly running car that could be used, i would say us it, and hold on to that money for a while. Your husband might be the selfish one, because what you said makes perfect sense. Sounds like he likes to drive the primary car better and would rather not use the other car. Since your husband says stay home and take care of things, don't feel bad about depending on him. I wished my husband said that to me. I was laid off three months ago, there is no way I can stay home, I need a job ASAP But for you enjoy the time with your kids, maybe you can pick up some sort of hobby. If you are interested in having your own money, why not try to become an Avon representative. If you know a lot of people you could probably make a nice little commission. I sell Avon, but since I am not working I have lost a lot of customers. I was able to get an order last week, and the $50.00 commission will certainly come in handy.
2 people like this
@nixxi76 (3192)
• Canada
12 Sep 08
Maybe it's not just a blessing that you lost your job, but perhaps it's a sign that the car broke down too? I don't think you're being selfish at all. I think he needs to relax and just enjoy the one vehical seeing that gas prices are so high once again (here they just rose $0.13 last night so it's $1.47/litre. (not sure how much it is where you're at). Anyhow I think you're right. Good luck
2 people like this
• United States
13 Sep 08
I don't know your full situation. If I were you, I would agree to fixing the car, no sense having a broken car sit that could cost more money in the future to fix. Does your family need you to work for the income?
• United States
13 Sep 08
Nope, not really. And not only that, I have a brand new car as well. So there is a total of 3 cars in the household. Which is why I suggested he wait. I was just trying to be frugal.
• United States
13 Sep 08
Just a thought maybe he just wanted you to have a car there at the house. So you would have a car if you needed to do something and not have to wait until he came home. I am not sure you were being selfish either because you are looking at the side that since you don't work there is no need for two cars. I don't think B.S either. Because his intentions may have been looking out for your needs also. That is only my opinion.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Sep 08
I wish this were the case but I have a car ( a brand new one actually so he could have taken my car and I would have driven the other one). Thanks anyway.
• United States
13 Sep 08
You are not beign selfish at all. YOu are being smart and responsible. he should be blessed he has a spouse with some money sense. not everyone is so lucky to find that in a spouse. Its not like u said "dont fix it because i can use that money to buy me a new dress" that may have been selfish then, but you said it with the idea that the money could be used elsewhere or put in savings...not one bit selfish at all
@celticeagle (116758)
• Boise, Idaho
13 Sep 08
Utilize the other car. You are not being selfish! You sound like a woman that already knows this too.
• United States
13 Sep 08
You are not being selfish. He could save up his money right now, and just use the other car until he has enough money to fix up the one that needs fixing. Unless, he wants to fix up his car, so that you have your car, so that you can get another job? You never know?
• United States
13 Sep 08
I wish that were true but I have a car so there is a total of 3 cars and mine is new. I just wanted to save a little money.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Sep 08
How is saving momey a bad thing? And why do you have three cars? I can see having one car per person, but anymore than that just seems like too much.
@sid556 (31006)
• United States
14 Sep 08
I think that you both sound like very nice and considerate people. You don't sound selfish at all to me. Sounds as if you were being practical. He sounds as if he is being considerate of you and not wanting to leave you without a vehicle. You sound like two people that are working together but maybe not understanding each other?? You are going thru some changes and I'm sure it has affected you both. I think you both need to talk it over.
@NettyB (336)
• United States
13 Sep 08
Well I am kind of thinking along your lines, if you are home with the kids for awhile, he could use your car and you could wait at least a couple of weeks to get his fixed. Then the budget would not bee so strained. But try to relax and enjoy the time at home! You can still keep an eye out for jobs and something should turn up. will you be getting unemployment? That would help for while....
@dhisaw (304)
• United States
13 Sep 08
I don't think that it is selfish to want to work to help your family. Also, if you do not think that you are going to be using your other car then why is it that he thinks that the one needs to be fixed. It would save the two of you some money plus as you pointed out that money can be used somewhere else.
13 Sep 08
It is unclear it it is B.S as we don't know his reasons for getting the car fixed. Perhaps he wants you to be independant with the car while he is working? I would speak to him properly about it, and no I don't think you are being selfish in fact quite the opposite. You offered him your car so you'd be less mobile while he is at work!
@ourfff (64)
• China
13 Sep 08
First I really think it's not your fault.You only want put more money aside for a rainy day.But your husband very likes his car.That maybe bring him good mood,even good luck.The important thing in your heart is your husband,your child.so let your husband do what he likes.
• United States
13 Sep 08
you are def. not being selfish! There is nothing wrong with leaving the car sit for a little while. Especially if you have another vehicle to use. He might only be saying he needs the vehicle fixed because he is looking out for you and kids though. He might be afraid that something will happen while he is gone and you won't have a vehicle to use. Who knows though? Maybe you should ask him why he NEEDS the car fixed and if he gives you a reasonable/believable answer then I say get it fixed.
@ronaldinu (12445)
• Malta
13 Sep 08
You are being reasonable because you are wary of your financial situation. If one lack funds and has another car at his disposal it makes sense to wait some time before getting the car fixed. Is he a car fanatic? Is his car his toy?
@244824 (1)
• United States
13 Sep 08
no you are not. Dount worry. When the time is right you will find a job.
@geekyjock (371)
• Philippines
13 Sep 08
I thin it is not being selfish, it's more of being practical and I think nothing's wrong with what you've just said. Ofcourse since your household income decreased because you lost your job, it's practical to cut some expenses that you can live with out. Just like what you said you still have one car that is in working condition. Well it is a good idea to use it for now instead of spending $1000. And I think your husband could understand it somehow. If not, I think talking to him and explaining to him nicely will do the trick. Maybe you could slowly make a saving for like $100 a month for the service of your other car.
@Hatley (164772)
• Garden Grove, California
13 Sep 08
no you are not being selfish but yet dont rely entirely on your hubby as in this wild job market every day guys get laid off. I would find myselof a part time job just to stay in the job market as its easier for womane to find new jobs as it is for men and now you have a stop gap plan. you can still take caree of house and kids but you are not totally dependent on your husband.