marriage....

kitty - this is the cutest kitty ever!!!
Canada
November 6, 2006 12:25am CST
is marriage all that it is cracked up to be? i love my botfriend and i plan to marry him soon, but a lot of people seem to be getting divorced these days.
4 people like this
18 responses
@sbeauty (5871)
• United States
6 Nov 06
This is a really good question. Far too many people today are copping out of their marriages instead of making the effort it takes to make them work. Love isn't enough unless you marry someone who is willing to communicate, listen, and compromise. Does your boyfriend always have to be boss? Don't marry him unless you want to bow to his wishes for the rest of your life. Does he respond to your needs, or does he worry most about himself? What is there about him you don't particularly like? Can you live with it forever? What if he were in an accident and badly disfigured. Would you keep loving him no matter what he looked like? Is his lifestyle and background compatible with yours and your values? Ask yourself serious questions like this and listen to your head when you answer them, not your heart. Realize that married life will have bad times as well as the good, and that building a marriage is hard work that takes a lifetime. I've been married 30 years now, and it hasn't always been easy. There were some really rocky places in it. However, I'm proud that we've weathered the storms and are now growing old together.
3 people like this
@Connie2 (23)
• South Africa
6 Nov 06
I am definitely the wrong person to comment on this one.I am married for the second time and I'm having endless problems.I suppose it has a lot to do with the kind of person you marry and how well you understand each other.I think I got married for the wrong reasons both times round.Maybe you should consider living together for a while before you take the final step.
1 person likes this
• Canada
6 Nov 06
thank you very much for responding! me and my boyfriend like to bring women into our relationship sometimes but it is mutual more for me and i remember you saying that you felt that way before i don't think that there is anything wrong with it!
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Nov 06
*nods* As long as communication and agreement are found, it can work out.
• United States
6 Nov 06
maybe move in with your boyfriend before you get married because that is what its all about and thats where the true tests are taken.
1 person likes this
• Canada
6 Nov 06
i already live and have a child with my boyfriend!
• India
6 Nov 06
love - marriage
its good to know ur in love....even better that u plannin to marry him.....so marriage shouldnt mean ur love ends... that is when it gets even stronger.....so thers no que of divorce...trust urself n ur love....this is what counts... good day
1 person likes this
• Canada
6 Nov 06
thank you very much for responding and yes i do love him and he loves me i hope that we last forever we have already made it to 2 years!
1 person likes this
@suzieque (2343)
• Canada
6 Nov 06
I've have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and I am not planning to get married soon. I don't think he's finacially ready and I'm not either. But if you love each other, I think it's worth it.
1 person likes this
@shellyrios (1215)
• United States
6 Nov 06
I think that's why a lot of people just "live together" because marriage seems to end in divorce. I didn't want to ever get married either, but I find as I grow older that I would like to, and it's not really about a wedding, but I feel like I want to be unified with the man I'm with, like really solidify the relationship. We've been together for 6 yrs and have only been living together for 2 1/2, but we feel in the future sometime we'll get married, but not now. I don't think a lot of people take the time to really look at what marriage really is and end up divorcing after 2 yrs???!!! It's almost like it's a trend to get married.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Nov 06
That is because, people aren't willing to work on there relationships. There is nothing better then the devil would like to do that is destory the family structure. A marriage is not always going to be perfect like all things in life aren't, but that doesn't mean end it. God Bless
6 Nov 06
Marriage is a very important part of life. We should not think about others who have taken divorce as that may have happen due to there foolishness or not giving time to think to resolve the problem. After marriage some times you have to adjust and sometimes he have to adjust.
1 person likes this
@pondlife (468)
6 Nov 06
Marriage is great. Can't recommend it enough as long as you have the right person. To help plan your wedding look here: http://www.addanimage.com/addanimage_viewlinks.php?catagory=104
• United States
6 Nov 06
It depends on wha toyu make your amrriage "About". My first mariage was about being married and living up to all the stereotypes we aas a society are taught are good for us and we should want. I failed in less than two years. My second marriage is about really caring about each other, communication and trust. Our five year anniversary is coming up this week and I've never been happier in a relationship.
@wetness24 (321)
• United States
6 Nov 06
i am getting married soon too and i know exactly what you are talking about... and i am also a pysch major and i have been studying relationships for the past couple of years. The reason there are so many divorces these days is because ppl tend to rush into something because they THINK they are in love... and when ppl tend to get in fights they think its the end of all worlds and try not to fix the problem... they just tend to walk away because its the easiest thing to do.. always communicate, that is the biggest part in a relationship. Dont get down.. if you love the man and you are sure.. dont have ne worries.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Nov 06
Hmm im not married nor have I been married, but I am with someone that I feel I can be with for the rest of my life. He is awesome in everyway. In Dec. it will be 6 years of being together. I mentined it too him recently about getting married. At first he told me he does not wanna get married, but the way his face looked, it was almost as if he knew something I didn't know. I also believe that if you are in love,want to make a commitment, happy with each other and can trust one another, Why not go for it. But I also only want to get married once.
@srhelmer (6934)
• Beaver Dam, Wisconsin
7 Nov 06
Many marriages fail because people go into them thinking, like in the movies, they will live happily ever after. Marriages take work. Your spouse will change and you're either going to have to change with your spouse or compromise. If you're willing to do that, you'll have a great marriage.
• United States
7 Nov 06
well, i have been married since june 2006 and we have had problems since then. but since we are married there is more of a loyalty there. we can have the worst fight but at the end of it we are like "im sorry, i love you" ect.. it still means we are still human and stuff. but there is more forgivness and are willing to put out longer for that person. i guess.
@saphire539 (1641)
• United States
7 Nov 06
It depends on the couple and how hard they work to make sure there marriage lasts.
• United States
6 Nov 06
Yes marriage is a wonderful thing however it is not all peaches and cream but if you are in a commited relationship.. its all the same....Marriage relationships take alot of work.. I have been married for almost 18 years and I think it was worth it.
@sedel1027 (17868)
• United States
6 Nov 06
You can't judge what you marriage will be like based on others around you. I am divorced but am getting married again in December. If you want to get married and you know he is the right person for you, then do so. Just keep the line of communication open and be willing to work on your marriage.
@RebeccaLynn (2256)
• United States
6 Nov 06
All marriages go through their share of difficulties. You have to make the choice to stick it out and work through the hard times together. Love is a choice. Once the newness has worn off the work begins, but yes, it is so worth it! My husband and I have been married twelve years. I wasn't much older than you when we married. It's been bumpy at times, but we both know that no matter what the arguement neither of us are going anywhere. There is security, love, trust and a deep friendship in marriage that you won't find outside of it. I wish you the same kind of joy that I have found in my marriage!