Has anyone else had to live their life around someone else's?

United States
September 14, 2008 12:31am CST
I have gotten my hopes up several times in the past weeks because I have gotten numerous job offers (I have taken a year and a half off to raise my children)but every time I have gotten an offer my husband gets an interview and I have to put going to work on hold to see what shift he may get so that I can find one to accomadate us not needing much daycare. I was certain that this last offer I got was going to be perfect but once again my husband got an interview where the hours wouldn't permit me to work without us paying two weeks wages to daycare....And i have to give up my job offer because he is looking for a full time job with good pay where mine is part time with pretty much minimum wage. I just wish that things would settle down so I could actually do something. Is that too much to ask for!??! I don't want to accept my latest job offer to only have to quit after a day, week or month. Is there anyone else that has been through this before? How did you handle it?
3 responses
@phoenix25 (1543)
• United States
14 Sep 08
Yeah, I've been there. Welcome to the wonderful world of life with kids. Me and my husband have had the same problem several times because of the amount that we've moved around and been laid of from jobs. Really, it always tended to work out in the end, but we always had these periods of uncertainty and hatching plans depending on who got what. My advice to you would be for one of you to take a job that pays better and have the other one work around that. I know it's a pain, but all you can do is make sure you have enough money to survive, figure out a way to work in day care, and adjust accordingly. It's rough, but there's really no way around this. I would suggest talking to your husband about your concerns and thoughts during this process. You can never have too much communication in a marriage during times like these.
• United States
17 Sep 08
We are doing just that. He is the primary income....He currently has a full time job and has the ability to get one easier than I do. That is why I cancel my plans to work when he get something....I'm only going for part time positions and I apply with my availability based on his work hours and when there is a chance he is going to change jobs it means my availability changes too. I'm just giving up on work a bit longer until all his applications out there dry up and he is content with what he is doing. Thank you for letting me know that its not just us! Sometimes when things happen it feels like you the first person to go through it and it helps to know others have been there.
@sharra1 (6344)
• Australia
14 Sep 08
It is hard when you have young children and have to organise your life around them but there will come a time when they are at school and you have time during the day when you can go out to work while they are away. I can understand why you would be frustrated and want to go back to work. It can be difficult being home all the time and the longer you are out of the work force the harder it can be to get back in sometimes. But if you have to pay for childcare you can lose so much of your wage you have to wonder if it is worth it. Also there are worries about whether they will look after your children well or not. It can add to your stress if your children get sick while at child care. It seems a strange coincidence that your husband gets an interview every time you get a job offer. Could he be saying that he does not want you to work or is it just a real coincidence? Sorry I can be suspicious and I wonder why he has not said anything if that was the case. Of the people I know who have had this problem. One girl I know did not want to go back to work but she had to or lose the job and she could not afford that so she returned to work part time and split the child care while she was at work between a child care center and family who babysat for her on certain days. The other person simply chose to stay home until the children went to school and then she went to work part time so she would be home when the children came home from school. It is hard and child care is so expensive that you need to be earning a lot to cover the costs.
• United States
17 Sep 08
It is hard to balance child care cost and your projected income...as a matter of fact, that is why i quit working when I did originally. I had a copay of $204 a month and was only working a few hours a day maybe 4 days a week....My paycheck covered the copay and part of my gas to get to work and that was it. I understand fully that some times its not economical for both parents to work if one isn't going to get very many hours or if the cost of child care is going to weigh heavily on the pocket book :D
@reoko10 (578)
• United States
14 Sep 08
That's funny you are getting jobs offer and I can't seem to get any, I have two little girls and at frist I wanted to be a saty at home mom but after a while I got tired of being at home all the time and now I want to work and make some money, now if I could get a job working at home that would be fine but I am just so tired of not being able you even get a job.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Sep 08
It is horrible and it makes me feel like an idiot to have to keep turning jobs down because my husband can't seem to make up his mind as to what he is going to do. I'm sorry you can't seem to find a job...if its any consilation, I normally have to search forever to find a job. I should have known that it was too good to be true. I have been thinking about starting something like selling Mary Kay or something similar from home so that I can at least help bring money into the house. I wish you the best luck in your search.