do you ever yell at your kids then feel guilty?

United States
September 14, 2008 5:07pm CST
sometimes i catch myself yelling over nothing and feel bad about it what about you do you ever just have a bad day or something and take it on on your kids by yelling?
1 person likes this
7 responses
@BubblyIan (751)
14 Sep 08
Maybe you need a break between work and children? Children are badly affected by loud voices and it can be viewed as a form of child abuse so beware! If you shout too much then they will become immune to it. I have only shouted at my son (aged 13) 3 times in his life - twice when he was about to run too far down the path towards a busy road and the third time when I came into the dining room and saw him standing on a chair and I thought he woulkld fall. Immediately he jumped onto the floor and curled up and sobbed his hear out. It taught me a valuable lesson of the effect that shouting has on kids. I remember my parents used to shout towards the end far too much and I would shrink away from the noise. It had a powerful effect on me as a child and I hate raised voices even now. All forms of discipline need to be proportional and relevant. If the child understands where the limits are and what they have done to earn your disapproval then maybe they will elanr from this. If the rules are consistent and logical then they will know where they stand. The problem you may have is that you may only tell them off when you are tired and hence one day the rule will be enforced and not the next. This adds to children's confusion and you may find they are naughtier more foten in an attempt to discover where the limits are. Try and get some relief from the stress and try and take a deep breath before reacting, your children will be grateful for it in the long run and you may find that they are better behaved as a result.
@vijigopi (991)
• United States
14 Sep 08
My kids are not affected too much by loud noises but I am. Maybe you are a highly sensitive person like me and your kids too are highly sensitive. Please don't feel I am criticising you. I am presently reading the book 'The highly sensitive child' By Elaine Aron and that is how I learnt that there are highly sensitive people in this world(about 20% of us are highly sensitive). She describes the characteristics of a highly sensitive person are you and your child definitely fit into it. Maybe that book will be a good read for you.
15 Sep 08
You are right - I am afraid I am extremely sensitive! Oh well it helps me be emptahic in my job when helping people.
• United States
15 Sep 08
I do sometimes catch myself yelling at them its not often but it happens sometimes. I do feel guilty for it and do apologize to them for it and tell them i love them and that im sorry.
• United States
7 Aug 09
I just yelled at my five year old for punching my expensive cellular blinds. I also gave her a spanking. The fact is she has been defiant toward me all week long and I think the added destruction: broken curtain rod 'cause she jumped on the curtains, broken towel rack and holes in the wall 'cause she hung on the towel rack, slowly breaking down couch 'cause she keeps jumping on it, and now a green stained brand new Sealy mattress finally just made me blow my top. I always feel guilty when I yell but it is only after she has been defiant toward me for a week or two that I burst. I always have a talk with her afterwards because my parents never did that for me and I feel that it is necessary to tell your child you love them always. She is a good girl and I tell her that but I know I need to improve on the parenting regarding the yelling.. I am also very loving to my baby so she feels like she needs to get more attention from me too. I think, I will take her out for an hour where it is just the two of us. I don't want to scar her.. I know my parents yelling at me scarred me. I am also pregnant right now and my hormones are going wild.
@VE3IYB (209)
• Canada
15 Sep 08
Yes it has happened and then I felt so bad about it after the fact.
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
15 Sep 08
Yes I have. But what is most important is that I later apologized. That is the best example that we can give our kids.
@se7enthbird (8328)
• Philippines
14 Sep 08
my child is only two years old and he is our only child. my wife had a lot of miscarriages before we hit the jackpot and she decided not to get pregnant any more. she is more of the disiplinarian than i am. she said i spoil our child. because when i raise my voice ifeel guilty and give my son a hug thats the reason why sometimes i am angry already and my son does not listen to me. not like my wife she has tough love so when she is angry my child listens and behaves.
@vijigopi (991)
• United States
14 Sep 08
Yes, this has happened to me quite a few times. I don't yell at them without a reason although I feel if I had been cool and calm, I might have dealt with them differently. But, I am not able to yell too much these days because my throat doesn't allow me to . Then my voice will force me to calm down so that they actually understand what I am upset about. But I don't feel guilty for yelling as much as when I have punished them without enquiring about a whole episode. Sometimes, my daughter does some mischief and when I ask her, she doesn't give me the whole picture.. she just says 'because I want to' and has no further explanation. At those times, I give her a time out and later, she gives me a reasonable explanation. That's when I feel guilty.
@kellys3ps (3728)
• United States
14 Sep 08
I have felt guilty at times when I yell at my kids and I know I am really yelling because I have had a stressful day rather than because they were bad.