Larry the Cable Guy
By LadyMarissa
@LadyMarissa (12148)
United States
September 15, 2008 10:27pm CST
I love Larry the Cable Guy. He's hilarious & looks at life in such an interesting manner. Here are some words of wisdom from Larry the Cable Guy...
1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets The
cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the hell happened?'
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound.. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Do you enjoy Larry??? My favorite is...
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
The next time I feel depressed, I'll be looking for my enthusiam!!! AND
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the hell happened?' This is the first words out of my mouth every morning.
Please choose which one of these is your favorite & tell mt why???
3 people like this
9 responses
@CarlKnittel (692)
• United States
17 Sep 08
Life is to mundane. Larry is great at pointing out how funny the obvious really is. The fact that he has a friend who finds the redneck in everyone and another who actually pays attention to how stupid people really can be makes for a lot of good comedy on one stage.
3 people like this
@howard96h (11640)
• New York, New York
17 Sep 08
Yes Carl Lady M works for some soda bottling company, I think it's Dr. Pepper which also happens to be her favorite drink too.
2 people like this
@LouiseKnittel (4764)
• United States
17 Sep 08
Marissa this is Carl,, Carl this is Marissa!
2 people like this
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
18 Sep 08
NICE TO MEET YOU CARL!!! 
Now, will you please excuse me for a moment??? 
Howie...PPPPFFFFTTTTT!!! 
Now, will you please excuse me for a moment???
Howie...PPPPFFFFTTTTT!!! 2 people like this
@howard96h (11640)
• New York, New York
16 Sep 08
He is some character isn't he. I like #6, "He who laughs last, thinks slowest."
3 people like this
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
16 Sep 08
Now, how did I guess that???
You forgot to tell me why??????
3 people like this
@howard96h (11640)
• New York, New York
17 Sep 08
No Louise, he is putting on the apron and doing the dishes with her. Regarding your question Lady M that is because some people are just slow, like Larry will be while he scrubbing away. Louise has Carl logged on yet? Gotta give him the run down about who to become friends with and he must watch what he drinks here too.
2 people like this
@LouiseKnittel (4764)
• United States
17 Sep 08
hmmm she even has a picture of him Howard... wonder if he is cooking for her also...
1 person likes this
@tyc415 (5706)
• United States
16 Sep 08
I love Lerry the Cable Guy also. He is a very funny man and seems like he also has a heart full of gold. I watch pro bull riding and he has ownership in a bull and one night he hosted a bull ride event and of course they talked to him and also showed him in the audience with his wife and children and they all seemed to be having such a good time.
As for the one that I like is #15.When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
That one seems to fit me, it seems like when things are going really good watch out in life then better watch out, something is just around the corner to make things horrible.
2 people like this
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
16 Sep 08
Yes, #15 bites me in the butt every so often!!! He loves his wife & family. He takes them on the road with him so he's NOT EVEN TEMPTED to fool around. He makes NO bones about how much he loves his wife & family. I find that very refreshing!!! 
2 people like this
@II2aTee (2559)
• United States
16 Sep 08
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
HAHAHA. Not very insightfull but a very interesting question. All of them made me laugh but this one made me laugh harder for some reason.
Sad thing is ... the answer is going to drive me crazy from now on.... hahaha!
2 people like this
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
16 Sep 08
Yes, it made me think....then it made me laugh...then it made me wonder. Dayum redneck
2 people like this
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
16 Sep 08
Hi LadyMarssa,
That was really fantastic, I couldn't stop laughing I cannot choose with one I like best but I think my husband would like the one that says No.16 Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. I bought him a big pint glass with those word written a few years ago and it is heis favourite glass, but I do like No. 21, Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the hell happened?' I always ask that to myself too when I look in the mirror each day. He he he.
Tamara
2 people like this
@lorelei1622 (329)
• United States
16 Sep 08
I actually like all of them he's a comedian for real people, and proves that you don't need to curse to be funny, at least not constantly! I think we all have at least a little redneck in us and he has the talent to bring it out.
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
16 Sep 08
Yes, they are ALL funny!!! The Blue Collar Comedy Tour will keep you in stitches 
2 people like this
@nanajanet (4436)
• United States
16 Sep 08
It's hard to say, they are all freakin' funny!! LOL
The one that made me laugh the hardest was "on the other hand..." LOL
Thanks for sharing. I needed a good laugh!!!
ROTFLMAO!!
2 people like this
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
16 Sep 08
Just returning the favor my friend. Seems you shared a few hilarious ones a few days back!!!
2 people like this
@pheonixstar1982 (2307)
• United States
16 Sep 08
I love larry the cable guy and often find myself saying....Git r done!!!
2 people like this
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
16 Sep 08
The 3 most important words in the English language!!! 2 people like this
