An affair with a married man

Philippines
September 16, 2008 12:54am CST
There are girls that prefer to be being mistress. It droves me out of my curiosity why does she prefer that kind of status? Whenever I think about it, it's not even logical, nor even practical way of choosing a relationship. Whoever of you here, or know someone who has an affair with a married man? How do they feel about the relationship? Is she thinking her man will choose her over his wife? Do you think they have a future? Please post me your thoughts about this stuff. Just want to know in your perspective.
5 people like this
25 responses
@rainmark (4306)
16 Sep 08
Looks like the querida system in our society is always there. Some woman are really prone to married man, looks like it's their destiny to fall in love and engage in that kind of relationship. I know it's not a healthy relationships. I know someone, a friend of my friend, and this relationship is really never work out peacefully, it creates a big trouble and embarrasment for both parties.
2 people like this
• Philippines
17 Sep 08
There is no such things as destiny. We are the master of our faith, and we live life the way we want it to be. If this things are happening to some, its because they choose to be that way. We might run out of reasons to understand them, but we just have to eliminate our personal feelings just to understand them. We all know this is not ideal, yet its for them to know and for us to find out the exact reasons why they prefer to live life that way.
@st3ph_17 (146)
• Philippines
16 Sep 08
I don't really understand why some girls prefer to be a mistress. I don't think that the married man will leave his wife for the mistress. It's a very complicated matter, not to mention costly, for the man and hence he would just maintain the status quo. Besides, if the man really left his wife for the mistress, what will the man from doing the same to the mistress. Once a man has had an affair, I think the chances of him having another affair is close to 100%.
2 people like this
• Philippines
16 Sep 08
Very, true. Maybe in his thoughts he says, I have made this before in my life, there's no point I couldn't make it again.
1 person likes this
@Pigglies (9339)
• United States
16 Sep 08
I think some people will always want what they cannot have. Once a man is married, they technically are not supposed to be able to have him. So these people will want him more and only married men will be desirable to them. As for me, I prefer less complicated relationships than that and would only date someone who is actually single.
2 people like this
@msmell (1378)
• Australia
16 Sep 08
Yeah Pigglies I think you have got it there! Its the fact for must of these woman that the man is unavailable because he is married so it makes him more attractive to them for some unknown reason and they go after what they want and don't even think twice about the wife and makes me wonder what they would do if the man did leave his wife for them what would they do then !!!!!!!
• United States
16 Sep 08
I personally have never had an affair with a married man. However I have had a friend that does this on a very regular basis. She says it is for the excitement, the thrill of maybe getting caught. I have talked to her about the destruction it could cause to the mans family, not only his wife but his children. She has also cried many tears over men that promised that they were leaving their wifes just to find in the end that his words were untrue. Women more so than men tend to get more emotionally involved. So involvement with any married person male or female is bad in my opinion. Women that fancy themselves being a mistress they need to stop and think about the reprecussions. Not only that but how would they feel if and when they wed and start a family and her husband has an affair? My label for women and men that have affairs with married people are "homewreckers". Everyone eventually gets caught.
2 people like this
@psalmist (109)
• Philippines
16 Sep 08
an affair with a married man is the most insensible thing to do. It will only give you heartache... But sometimes when it happens to you, you will realize that those are in that kind of relationship has enough reason to justify herself... They will not chose you over his wife but you can have his time...
1 person likes this
@cecelgay (563)
• Philippines
16 Sep 08
Yes.. agree with you 100%, there no married man who choose his mistress over his family... married man welcomes those woman who understand their situation, they enjoy it but never will come to the point that he will leave his family over mistress..
• Philippines
16 Sep 08
Still, you can't deny the fact that there are those who really did, and leave his family. I just couldn't get the point, why and how did he pull the guts to do it?
@cecelgay (563)
• Philippines
16 Sep 08
Yes there is, some reason out that what they feel to their mistress is true love compare to their wife, sometimes they reason out they feel the right love on the wrong time and place and their only sin is that they feel the real love, though they have the point but still it is not acceptable to leave his family because of what he feel, i should say that he is not a real man, he dont know how to handle that kind of problem and that kind of man is a looser, when they once leave his family for another woman still he can do it to his mistress. They are a bunch of coward.. (ops.. i am not angry... i just cant find a right word for them)
1 person likes this
@Sharon38 (1916)
• Jamaica
16 Sep 08
Ha ha ha ha! Are you trying to dig up my past life? hehehe! Well about 11 years ago I entered this relationship knowing that the man was married. You see it was not a secret! Anyway I got interested in him and vice versa and we were going on quite fine. he paid my rent, bought my food, paid my bills and life was just fun because i got to save what I worked. Then a year after I got fed up of the situation and told him that it was over. He was upset with me but I foudn out to my dismay that I was pregnant. Of course he denied being the father but now there is no body to him like our child. One thing I have learnt from that experience is that I want a man for my own and to date I ahve never done that again. If a guy checks me out and I find that he has someone it is over for me. No wonder I am still single! So to speak!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
17 Sep 08
That was your dirty little secret huh?[em]lol[]/em] Well and good that you get over it. You have finally been enlightened by the truth. Nice to hear a comment that comes from a previous life. I'm not trying to dig up from anybody's past, I just want to hear the opinions of others about this particular situation. If anybody here that I have offended about this topic, I sincerely ask apologies. As of in your case, I commend you for learning for your past mistakes. But I just wonder where's your child now? Are you a single mom?
1 person likes this
@Sharon38 (1916)
• Jamaica
17 Sep 08
Well its not diggin in my past - I am just crazy natrually and it coems across in my postings now and again. I am not upset my dear so please do not apologise. I laughed when I saw your psoting and had to respond some how. It just drew me!!!!! Well , my child is with me attending a primary school and in Grade 5. She is a brilliant and intelligent child but a bit on the lazy side. Man I have to be pushing and shoving and threatening all the time to get the quality work from her I know she is capable of and her former teacher says the same thing. You see I know my child very well. Yes I am still a single mom. Do you know of any devoted christian guy who needs a devoted born again child of God as a wife? I cook and wash very well. My daughter calls me a neat freak though but that's just me in a nutshell! Hahaha! hehehe!!
@rsa101 (13336)
• Philippines
16 Sep 08
That also makes me wonder why. For most mistresses they always reason out that married man are responsible already since they are already married. Well are they really responsible enough? The fact that they betrayed their wives they are just being irresponsible with their family. Some says that married man are more mature than those that are single. Well getting into an extra marital relationship does not show their real maturity about how they handle their personal relationships with his family. Some says that married men are sweeter and more romantic than single men. Well of course they want something from you ladies who are willing to be enslaved by their charms what else can these men do but to entice their best to you and since they got the edge on seduction then they seem to look better than single inexperienced single men. That is why question remains the same why do some ladies prefer married men?
• Philippines
16 Sep 08
I can tell that married man are responsible enough. Responsible enough to tell those white lies and promises.
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (13336)
• Philippines
16 Sep 08
True!
• Philippines
17 Sep 08
Conscience wise, I am not in favor of someone getting involved with a married man. Marriage is meant to build a family. If marriage is broken, so is the so-called family. The idea of becoming a mistress isn't appropriate. BUT I have this closest friend who got involved with a married man. He's already married when she knew him. To make the story short, they have an affair that broke off the guy's marriage. The guy sacrificed his marriage to the extent that they're now living in together. I personally do not know the guy's reasons why he chose her over his marriage. They've been together living under one roof for almost 2 years now but according to my friend, she just can't get rid of the GUILT. She's too lucky that this guy loves her so much until now making her feel guilt-less. Their future? I really don't know it yet. Marriage is still impossible for them cos the guy still gets to have his marriage annulled. What I recently knew now is they wanted their life anew. They're about to migrate to another place and start their new life together away from all the stresses and the tensions that keep coming on them. Personally, I am not in the position to judge her with her decision. And who am I to judge her anyway? But it still doesn't change my stand of it as inappropriate cos it still is.
1 person likes this
@Sharon38 (1916)
• Jamaica
17 Sep 08
That;s just the thing!. I never went that far because I know that married men almost never leave their wives for the mistress. For me it was just fun and not having certain responsibilities. I was able to save my money while he took care of me. When I left him all that changed. I never minded though even though I got pregnant in the process. My intention was never to break up his marriage. I never loved him to that extreme. I enjoyed our relationship then and we are very good friends. If am ever in a spot he will assist me at the drop of a hat.
@paulsy (1264)
• Philippines
16 Sep 08
I can't figure out their reasons either. I am really disgusted with women and even men who have affairs with married people. It's a totally irresponsible thing to do. So many homes have been broken, so many families have been torn apart by these extra-marital affairs. I believe that a single person should be responsible in choosing the person he or she wants to have a relationship with. Either one of the married couple might be irresponsible, but if the single person condones this irresponsibility, then he or she becomes the reason for the family to break up. This is just my opinion.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
16 Sep 08
Maybe they are thinking that by choosing a non-committed partner, it's risky and there are lots of competition out there that opens the possibility of leaving them eventually. But with the case of a married person, there is only one single person whom they must compete, her husband or his wife. Very sensible.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164736)
• Garden Grove, California
16 Sep 08
hi iceblizzard I think that a woman who is a mistress and hopes that the married man will divorce his wife for her, is a fool.she is being duped because he now has two people to cater to his needs instead of one, why would he dump his wife when he can have both. He has no morals. and she had forgotten hers too.The mistress has no future, she can not live openly but has to skulk'arouond like a criminal.what life is that?
1 person likes this
@ellovire (409)
16 Sep 08
I actually have a close friend who is a mistress. She's been seriously hooking-up with married guys since college. She's not even after the money, for I know some younger girls who hook-up with older married men are just after the moolah. No, she's not like that. She comes from a decent, well-off family and they are clueless about it. She has her own career, car and money. She's successful. But she just cannot get it out of her system. What she started as just a fling in college became addictive to her that she did not have any interest to entertain single guys anymore. She said she feels so powerful that she can make a man cheat, or worse, leave his wife and family just for her. She's my friend and yes, she's unbelievably crazy.
1 person likes this
16 Sep 08
I dont know..........i dont understand what kind of relation is this.........a girl who has an affair with a married man is like a girl in love with the last person left for her on this earth............ Coz i dont think this relation has a future and even if it has it has at the cost of spoiling another woman's and his children's life........
1 person likes this
@ddurbin (25)
• United States
16 Sep 08
I think people that do this at some point think the married party will leave their spouse for them, because they must be unhappy to begin with in order to cheat, however, it rarely is the case. Usually the married person just wants attention from someone else, to stroke their ego for a short period of time, then they are back with their spouse. It's all really selfish on the person who strays part. They end up leading both people on.
1 person likes this
@nengs10 (3189)
• Philippines
16 Sep 08
I know some who have an affair with a married man. I, too, can't understand them. The ones I know were actually teenagers. They are in a relationship with a married man because those men support their education. Well, as for me, whatever the cause, I still can't understand them.
1 person likes this
@ronaldinu (12445)
• Malta
16 Sep 08
I don't think that an affair is fair on the third party concerned. If you are in a bad relationship its better to end it than to start a new one simultaneously. I think the girl who dates a married man is wasting her time. If the married man really respects her, he would divorce or get out of his marriage first before proceeding to a new relationship.
1 person likes this
16 Sep 08
there were many girls who are fornicators..i don't know why they doing that thing..they don't even think what's the consequences it will be..they even think worse..hayz..what a drag..it's a hard thing to do..relationship with a married man..some other girls don't think that a married guy can leave her in a minute or in an hour..it's kinda hard to explain..but if you just think..if your doing is right or wrong..what will be the consequences..and your just doing an adversary that makes your soul straight to the hell..hell yeah..
• Philippines
16 Sep 08
Good day... Every woman who became a mistress never discounted that one day the man she loves and had an illicit affair with would be hers and would make her hos wife. I mean that's why their risking and gambling their lives with him. I guess that kind of love is truly blind and can I say selfless until they realized that it was a hopeless cause.
1 person likes this
@geekyjock (371)
• Philippines
16 Sep 08
There are many women are are actually involved in an affair with a married man. And if you honestly ask that woman she can't really explain it to you. But based on research mostly single women are involved in an affair with a married man because of the unconscious need for excitement. SOme say that married men are more experienced and more mature looking than younger single men. Unconsciously, these single women are searching for love, for security and care. Even though in reality they know that it is not ideal. That's why affairs like these mostly never ended as a happily ever after and the loser is always the woman.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Sep 08
I think that part of it is they do think that their man will leave their wife. It has been studied and most times this doesn't happen. There are some cases that the women didn't know the man was married. When she did find out the relationship had gone on long enough that she has deep feelings for the man and sometimes finds it impossible to break it off. This is not in all cases mind you. Some women just don't care if a man is married or not. What has always crossed my mind is don't they even think about what the wife thinks. Another thing is what makes them think that if they are one of the ones that the man leaves his wife and marries the other women that that won't happen to them. Then you do have women who would truly rather be the mistress. No responsibilities and generally the man gives all kinds of gifts to the mistress. I don't think there is any future in being a mistress.
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14316)
• United States
24 Sep 08
I knew someone that had an affair with a married man. Okay, so I didn't know her on a personal level, but rather my father's mistress. The affair broke up my parents marriage of 20 years. In the end my dad married his mistress (back in the mid 90's) and they have been together ever since.
@sacmom (14316)
• United States
24 Sep 08
Oops! Forgot to add that my step mother knew that my dad was already married. It probably just added to the excitement...
• Philippines
3 Oct 08
Well, cases like that sometimes happened. Maybe your parents grow apart together over the years. I just started to believe that when things destined to happen it really destined to happen no matter what the circumstances may be.