do you ever wonder if the things you are doing in your life have any mean?

@Opal26 (17694)
United States
September 16, 2008 9:26am CST
I have been having a difficult time as late trying to decide if anything that I've ever really done or accomplished in my life really has any specific meaning. I know that I have been a good friend at times and helped people when I could, but what have I really done? Can you answer this question? What have you really done that is so wonderful if your life?
11 people like this
23 responses
@mands61123 (2099)
16 Sep 08
Hi opal i think we all go through this at one time or another i was going through it just before i got ill but since then my priorities have changed. At the moment i'm on a very day to day basis and am focusing on day to day achievements. Pretty much just happy to be able to do some the small things really. I think it's wonderful that you've helped friends and been there for them they probably value and appreciate that more than you will ever know. Not everyone is destined to conquer the world and be business man/woman of the year. I think that often the people that achieve that kind of success and weath are very lonely i would much prefer to have wonderful friends/family and enjoy life. To touch the hearts of those around you is enough of an acomplishment to me. The only thing i've ever really acheieved as such is my degree i'm fairly proud of that because it was hard slog and my mum really wanted me to i was probably more please to make her happy. Hope things get better for you hun.
@Opal26 (17694)
• United States
16 Sep 08
You are right too mands. You have done a wonderful thing too. You have put the wants of your family as one of the most important things for you in your life. Your successes and acheivements are done in an attempt to please and make them happy. That in itself is a wonderful and selfless thing.
1 person likes this
@tyc415 (5706)
• United States
16 Sep 08
I feel the same way as you. I have been a good friend also at times and helped others when I could and even when I really couldn't I did anyway. The only thing I guess is raising three children and I have grandchildren now but even that something has gone wrong since the oldest daughter has disowned the family so we don't get to see her or my grandchildren from her. So, most days I feel more of a failure than anything.
3 people like this
@Opal26 (17694)
• United States
16 Sep 08
You have done something worth while, you have raised a family. You have your children and grandchildren-you are not a failure.
2 people like this
@PearlGrace (3172)
• United States
16 Sep 08
Hello Opal26. It sounds like you have been engaged in deep thought recently. Wow. And I can't even decide what to wear to work on any given day. Anyhoo, our lives have meaning because we exist, Opal. We might not even realize the extent to which we touched another person's life or the greatest contribution we ever made. Maybe one day you smiled at someone who thought his life was over or who was afraid she'd never be happy again. Maybe you gave something to someone that was insignificant to you but VERY significant to the person you gave it to. Maybe you said a prayer or sent good vibes to someone that made him/her feel better. Maybe you loaned someone money and got them out of a jam. I guess what I'm saying is, maybe a rock doesn't fall on our heads to signal to us, "There's the meaning to your life". Maybe we just matter because we are here. Who knows, you may have even touched someone indelibly by a myLot comment you made to someone. Perhaps, just by being there, you had a profound impact on someone's life, maybe even more than one person's life. And for me, I don't know that I've ever done anything earth-shattering. But, because I believe all of what I just said, I guess I don't feel I have to know what the "one thing" is that gives meaning to my life. I will say that bringing my son to this earth is probably my greatest accomplishment. Please don't sell yourself short, Opal26. Everybody matters.
@Opal26 (17694)
• United States
17 Sep 08
Yes, my wonderful friend Pearl. You always have such an eloquent way of putting things into their proper perspective. I know that I have done some good things for some people that have passed through my life without any fanfare. I truly wasn't looking for any. As long as I know that I made some people happy when I could that's what matters and gave help when it was needed. But, then why do I feel that there still is something missing?
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Sep 08
I don't know how to answer that question. Maybe your feeling of something being "missing" is your way of continuing to look for and find things in life that bring you joy and satisfaction. And there's nothing wrong with having quests in life. Maybe your current life has become stagnant and you need to bring something new and fresh into it. Maybe it means you need to actively look for new activities to try, meeting new people, or taking responsibility to add new dimension to your life. Put your self out there, Opal, do something you've always wanted to do. Act in a play, take an online course, join a book club, try a new hobby, make a new friend or whatever. I guess I am saying, don't wait for life to come to you or for something to "happen." Create it, make it happen. Think outside of the box. Just go for it!
@tessah (6638)
• United States
16 Sep 08
this is a difficult question to answer without sounding horribly arrogant and full of onesself. and while i am horribly arrogant and at times exceedingly full of myself.. i really dont like appearing so blatantly to others unless its truly called for. what have i done thats so wonderful.. first and foremost, im a good mom. ive devoted my life to my family, and in this.. they have the power and confidence to change the world. my youngest.. when given a buttload pile of catelogs to start making me her christmas wish-list for this year.. spent a few days pouring over them.. to come to me and request but one thing from their pages for an item and added "and i want world peace" and quietly walked away. shes 8. her request reduced me to tears.. ive been entrusted with one hell of a human being to care for, and ive done my best to treat her as the treasure she genuinely is. anything else ive done for humanity.. to make dark a little less scary and this world a little bit safer for others to dwell in.. feels rather secondary in comparison and will remain unspoken.
2 people like this
@Opal26 (17694)
• United States
16 Sep 08
You, my friend have yourself one precious little angel! And I do think she's a mirror image of her mom, only maybe in a quieter more gentler form. You do make a difference in the world because you are a mother, something I will never be.
1 person likes this
@tessah (6638)
• United States
16 Sep 08
yer perceptions dearheart are completely phucked. you dont have to give birth to "mother" you dont have to raise an infant in order to make a difference to another in very profound ways. i know you have with me.. that inturn changes aspects of MY life.. which then affects not only my children.. but everyone else i may come into contact with.. and everyone they have contact with.. so on and so on (like them old faberge` organics commercials) one small action has insurmountable repercussions that reach across the world in ways yer not even capable of grasping with the state yer brains are in right now. none of the important things are ever really seen. they dont come in earth shattering sky falling rock the pillars of reality ways.. they are subtle and quiet as a whisper. and if you listen carefully.. youll hear it on the wind. quiet yerself.. close yer eyes and take a step to the left.. and view things from a different angle.
2 people like this
17 Sep 08
Hi Opal26, You must have done something in your life to make people love you and you made them happy, sometimes I feel like that as I have no children but have two cats and a husband. My two cats are very loving and loyal to me because I have done something for them by loving them, I run a house for my husband, so little things like that adds up, so if you look back on your life Opal you have done a lot of things which means an awful lot, also you have given your friendship to me which I am thankful for and made me happy. Bless Tamara
2 people like this
@Opal26 (17694)
• United States
17 Sep 08
As I said above that I have no children and I am ok with that, but my mother isn't. I have my 2 cats who are my babies. I also treasure your friendship tamara.
1 person likes this
@ellie333 (21029)
16 Sep 08
Hi Opal, Everyday of your life is an accomplishment, whether or not you realise it. I think we all question at times and more seem to be these days for some reason, but it is the little things that matter not whether you are a top executive or famous film star, but those moments in time where you know deep down that you have really made a difference to someones life whether it be a smile at the little old lady who may not speak to anybody that whole day but your smile to her has made a wonderful difference. I think you are a wonderful person. Wonderful things I have done with my life, I have been true to me and loyal to others, I love my family unconditionally and always try my best to make a difference to someone worse off than I am whether it be to help someone financially, doing something pracical or just being a listening ear. If we stop questioning we stop living. Just BE and enjoy and never compare yourself to others as you are unique and not comparable. Big huggles. Ellie :D
@Opal26 (17694)
• United States
17 Sep 08
I know you're right ellie, but sometimes I just doubt my sense of worth because I hear my mother's words telling me that I never gave her grandchildren-it's not my words-it's hers and I hurt for her, not for me.
1 person likes this
@whywiki (6070)
• Canada
16 Sep 08
I question myself on this all the time. I didn't have any kids and won't so I don't have that legacy. I try to be a good friend and I help animals any time I can. I think when I get old and look back at my life I can be content in the knowledge that I have helped out animals on my way through life and anything I have will be left to animal welfare. So although I may not have a life full of meaning now I know when I die that my life will have had meaning because I will leave it all to help those that can't help themselves.
2 people like this
@Opal26 (17694)
• United States
16 Sep 08
You are alot like I am when it comes to the importance of animals in our lives. They take first priority because we understand that they have no voices so we must speak for them. That in itself is to me one of the most important things that we both give in our lives. The gift of helping those creatures who can not help themselves.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13918)
• United States
16 Sep 08
life can only have the meaning you give it. if you think being a good friend is meaningful then your life is full of meaning. things are things, they only have mean when we give it a title. instead of trying to label the thigs you have done with your life, just allow those things you have done make you feel good. why do they have to have any meaning at all. they should just be...
@Opal26 (17694)
• United States
16 Sep 08
Yes momma, I know that, but it just doesn't seem to be enough. I feel I should be doing something more,
2 people like this
• India
17 Sep 08
Every body has some thing done in life which has become a part of his life for inspiration to undertake more. My most hardest work in life was to buy and construct a big house for me and my family and that I have achieved I have purchased land and constructed a big house on that where I am living.
2 people like this
• United States
19 Sep 08
Once I found out that the purpose of life was joy it has made things a whole lot easier for me. Granted you can't jump from depression up to joy but it has given me a thrilling new sense of purpose... does this activity bring me anything close to joy, do these thoughts bring me good feelings? Do I feel good when I'm around this person or that one? Every single moment of every single day I look for stuff that makes me feel good. When I first started doing this I was soooo depressed that it was really hard to find anything that felt good, but it is getting easier and easier and I am feeling better and better and there are days now that I feel profoundly wonderful!
1 person likes this
@Opal26 (17694)
• United States
13 Oct 08
Well you are right about one thing, I haven't been back to this discussion and it sure has taken off since! Your comment happens to be one of the best quite frankly. I wish I could have a talk with you in private. I would like to know how you were able to turn your depression into joy. I suffer from clinical depression and have alot of trouble finding ways to "push" myself to get things done. I think that's why I can't get to what my true purpose is in life. Your positive attitude is something I wish I could find a way to capture!
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Oct 08
It's never too late to decide what direction to head in! The only way you can ever get to where you want to go is to decide to mosey on over that way. If you know where you are and where you want to go that's all that's necessary to get where you want to go, and that is an advantageous position to be in no matter if you're nine or ninety-nine. Well, a lot of times you might - ok well, will probably have to lay a belief or two aside, if only for the moment. In fact that is why I am still sitting in limbo up here in this mountain. I find that I have been holding a belief in poverty and suffering... my good Christian upbringing playing itself out. I prefer to believe in abundance, free will, and the Law of Attraction. That's my choice and I stand behind it.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Oct 08
You're too late Barb, I gave up lap-dancing years ago!
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (43961)
• United States
17 Sep 08
Well as that U2 song goes..."And I still haven't found what I'm looking for.." I have dreamed of success all my life and feel like I'm no where near my goals..that I've only scratched the surface....I guess I'm plain not satisfied with my life...but that doesn't stop me from trying to reach those goals...Sometimes though when I look back at some of the things I have accomplished in my life I think, "Gee, did I really do that?" I guess for me, maybe with my past efforts in sharing my photographic vision...many of my photos had been published in the past and I like to think that maybe when someone saw a photo I took and they admired it that it gave them a smile or a feeling of tranquility. Then I have my articles I write...maybe something I said may have helped someone...No one ever really realizes how we may affect someone else's life even to a small degree and maybe made their life a little bit better for awhile....I'm pretty sure you've done this and just haven't realized it Also...being a good friend to someone and perhaps helping them out in some way is probably the most priceless thing one can do or be.
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (43961)
• United States
17 Sep 08
Just had to add since I only read some of your other responses...I don't have children either and never married....I do have my two precious kitties though..LOL...I do in some ways regret that I never had children, but I've never made a big issue out of it maybe only because I was always so career oriented...what my mother's opinion may have been was like....who cares? Actually the way my mother acted in her last few years of life it WAS like having a child...and to be honest I don't ever think she ever really grew up....
1 person likes this
@peaceful (3286)
• United States
16 Sep 08
Well for one thing, you have just put one heck of a big smile on my face with this great question, Opal! I see my Life as it unfolds as a fascinating Work In Progress... I do many, many things for others, and I have also learned to do things for myself, too! That is one big accomplishment that I reward myself for every single day-- To have a Life and Live it Fully, is one fine act of Love to me... My Legend and Legacy and Meaning can all be sussed out by others in a future time! Meanwhile, I choose to be Active and Appreciative of the magick of Joy, Abundance and Peace that flows through me in the Here and Now! I also wish these wonderful Gifts to all Others, and especially to You and Yours!
@Opal26 (17694)
• United States
16 Sep 08
Well peaceful, I'm glad I could put a smile on your face! I am always happy to do that for anyone and everyone! I wish I had your lust for life and your secret....
1 person likes this
@mikeysmom (2094)
• United States
17 Sep 08
i know that i make a difference every day by being here because i make it a point to help others and do at least one good deed per day. my son has picked up on it and notices and always says how nice it was that i did that for a particular person. if we all did just one good deed a day this world would be a much better place. it does not even have to be a big thing. how about letting someone pull ahead of you in traffic at a heavy yeild intersection, or hold a door open for someone struggling with a stroller or wheelchair. how hard is that? but it goes a long way. once you start doing it you want to do more and so you do. i know i have done good in my life and what my purpose is here.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
17 Sep 08
I thought about what I decide and what I choose because I really think that every little thing that we do in life have its consequences. Its like, choosing between two red colored shirt with different designs. I also think the same as you do, being a good friend and all, doing what I can to help the others but there are times that you really need to think about your actions. If one of your friend asking you to do something that you know is not right, would you do it? And if you won't do it, your friend would say that you are not a good friend. Anyway, I still don't know what wonderful things I've done in life. Maybe none. I'm just waiting for something wonderful to happen. Its better that way because if I attempt to do something wonderful, I don't think I can.
1 person likes this
• China
17 Sep 08
I don't think the question before.Life is supposed to be happy.Life have no mean,we came to the world,experience,feel.Nothing we can hold on,except good feeling and beautiful memory.So If help someone makes you happy,just do it.You get your good feeling,it's all.happy myloting.
1 person likes this
@izathewzia (5142)
• Philippines
17 Sep 08
I must admit, there are many times in the course of my life where I wondered if I am really making sense as I go on. If what I am doing really makes sense to me and to the people around me. If it is really worth it and not just a wasted effort.
@lalapuff (290)
• Philippines
17 Sep 08
hi Opal, nice topic you got here..i've been wondering the same thing for about a year? that's why i'm also thinking of quitting my job..i think it's eating most of my valuable time and energy into nothingness..not really but i think i could do and be more productive in something better..sigh..
@magojordan (3256)
• Philippines
17 Sep 08
Yes of course, I always wonder why I ended up in this cubicle in front of a pc if there are really a lot of opportunities for someone with my qualifications. I am wondering why I accepted this job in the first place only to go to work dissatisfied everyday. For me I am still missing my fulfillment and hopefully I find it soon.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Sep 08
Everyday that I rise I ask one simple question,"Will I do what is right and good?" This gives my life meaning when all the everyday tasks seem so mundane. I used to lie in bed in the morning really dreading getting up and that inner Spiritual voice would tell me to rise that I have a job to do. I found this so frustrating as I didn't know what my job was. It took some Soul searching but the answer was so simple and there all along. Why not try some volunteer work and see what doors are opened to you or perhaps some conservartion work and let the Earth teach you. Sometimes it takes returning to our roots of our nature to find the meaning which is waiting for you to reconize.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Sep 08
I do wonder a lot if my life has any meaning to it, but I just decide not to worry about it, and I just do what I feel like doing. I do what I want to do.
1 person likes this