can you love your child if he are she was born handicappe?

@annjilena (5620)
United States
September 17, 2008 5:11pm CST
you are expecting a baby,but something happens doing delivery your baby, is born handicappe how would this affect you? this happen to me, i carried a baby for 9 months and he was born handicappe.
1 person likes this
14 responses
@chengbeb (285)
• Philippines
17 Sep 08
I maybe shocked for the first time and I would probably think what I did wrong during my pregnancy but nonetheless I would still love my baby regardless if he/she is handicapped. I would do everything. I would prepare her for the future. Research on what I can do or if there's anything that can be done for her handicap. I would support her and provide her more love that anyone can ask for. Even if this happened we should accept it because this wouldn't be given to us without any reason. The Almighty Being believes that we are the right person for this. Believe in yourself and love your child even more.
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
17 Sep 08
when i was pregant my baby did not move like it should have i did smoke are drink when i was carry my son and yet he was born handicappe i was devasted i didnt understand why he was born this way.
@chengbeb (285)
• Philippines
17 Sep 08
I understand where you're coming from the best you could at this point is ask your doctor what could have been the cause for your child coming out handicapped. But to be honest with you even if you knew you can't change anything. The best you could do now is to accept the fact and do everything that you could do so that your child would have no problems going through this. But if you want clarification you can always ask your doctor.
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
18 Sep 08
These are special babys and need all the love you can give them.
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
19 Sep 08
thats true they require a lot of love they did not ask to be born this way it,s our job to care for our love one wether they are handicappe are not
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
20 Sep 08
yup
@pehpot (4762)
• Philippines
18 Sep 08
This is my family - This was taken last year when we go out of town
well I think I would be mad for myself for a time because I know it was my fault that the baby is handicapped, but I will surely love more the baby as it is mine, but again I will really feel guilty most of the times. how was your baby?
@pehpot (4762)
• Philippines
18 Sep 08
oh no I did it again, the picture was supposed to be in one of your discussion, not here supposed to be in this: have the love of family gone cold?
@walkthetalk (1307)
• United States
18 Sep 08
Male handicap is hereditary in my family. All of my uncles, ( my mothers brothers ) are mentally retarded. Yet this did not stop me from having kids that I love. I would not change it for nothing. One is a son.
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
18 Sep 08
again you are expressing that unconditional love and it don,t matter they are still your family.believe it are not we need each other because what don,t break us it will makes us strong.
• United States
21 Sep 08
My son is not handicap, I was just making a point that I wanted kids and would love them no matter what.
@disvachic (10123)
• United States
21 Sep 08
I would still love my child regardless of how he or she is born.If My child did come here handicapped all I could do is the Doctor questions and make ways to make both our lives easier.I have three kids myself and I would not stop loving them for anything.
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
22 Sep 08
me either but insome families this is happening they dont want to bother with that child so they put them in a home are give them up to the state.
@quinnkl (1668)
• United States
18 Sep 08
Of course I could and would. It wouldn't be a question that would even enter my brain. This is your child. You brought him/her into this world and you can love and nurture the baby as you would any other. Just in a different way. I am sure it would be a shock, but I can't imagine not loving my child for ANY reason! I have friends who have children who are handicapped in various ways, and I have never looked upon them an anything other than children I know and love. Will we, as human beings, ever learn that our differences are not something to fear or belittle, but to celebrate!!!!??
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
19 Sep 08
that true but it,s some cruel people ou there some people are ashame of there handicappe child they put them in mental instution so they don,t have to deal with them and in the home they do not even speak of this child like it,s a bad word.
@mehakc (4)
18 Sep 08
It is not the childs mistake if he or she is born handicapped. A child is Gods gift and we need to respect that gift what so ever.
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
19 Sep 08
you are right it,s not the childs fault we are imperfect so we can be born any sort of way.but when you have a handicappe child do you care for this child as you should do as you said it,s not the child fault.
@ronaldinu (12445)
• Malta
18 Sep 08
I would love my child no matter what her/his disability is. I always pray to god that my baby will be born healthy. What I would put inconsideration first is that after this life when my wife and I will die, there will be no one who could take care of our child. Another issue is that it will be more financial strain than a normal baby. That's what troubles me most. If my baby will have a disability I would try to love her more.
@divinchris (2449)
• India
18 Sep 08
Hi Ann! Good Discussion,if something happen to the baby.No one can blame the baby for that.Its either because of the mother or dad the baby was born handicapped.So its good to care her more,that will give us lot of happiness.Good Luck to you.
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
19 Sep 08
you are right it,s not the child are the parent,s fault because when you have done all you can do when carrying that child and that child is still born the way he was i think it has something to do with the genes.
• United States
18 Sep 08
I could never love a child any less because of a handicapped. Yes, if I went through a pregnancy and did not know the child was handicapped, I would be shocked and surprised when they were born. I would probably blame myself and think that I had done something wrong. It would not change my feelings about the baby though. I would still love them unconditionally. My son was born 2 1/2 months premature. He spent his first 2 months of life in the NICU. He had 3 surgeries before he was a year old. His first year of life, he spent more time in the hospital than he did at home. Now, he has permanent lung disease and is permanently disabled. I do not look at him or love him any differently than my other 3 kids. He is a part of me no matter what way God has chosen to bring him into the world.
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
18 Sep 08
thats wonderful he will need that unconditional love from you because he is going through something having to deal with his disable god is good he will not put no more on us then we can bare.thank you for you for sharing
@zeny_zion (1284)
• Philippines
18 Sep 08
every parents dreamed of having a perfect child. normal and healthy. but just incase i will have a child with handicap i will never live the child. after all God gave it to me. he/she is my child. ill be with my child all the way and support her/him.
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
18 Sep 08
thats a good attitude to have care for whats your and everbody elses god will bless your effort somtimes we have to love other people children everybody wants to be loved and cared for.
@heaven11 (1159)
• United States
18 Sep 08
i think the question is how could you not love them handicap is no diffrent than any other child yes a handicap child may need a little more help and attention but how could that stop anyone from loving thier child. ill be honest it always ticks me off when i hear someone saying iam not keeping the baby thats when i say why because you have a little more work ahead of you in caring for your child wake up they are no diffrent and for someone to even question to love them or not is wrong and they shouldnt even be consider a mother iam sorry im not saying this to you om saying this anyone who can not love their child or things of them as something diffrent
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
18 Sep 08
it happens all the time some time parents put there child away not having anything to do with them i remember when i cared for my son i did not have any patients i had to develop patience to care for my son it wasn,t easy but i did it and iam proud i did it.love is unconditional.thank you for sharing.
• United States
17 Sep 08
I believe that no matter how your children are, you love them anyway. First of all, it is not a baby's fault that they are handicapped. They are the innocent ones. I do believe that the parent of a handicapped child would have some sadness for their child, which would be normal, because of the life experiences that their child would not experience due to the handicap. The severity of the handicap would of course determine what they would be able to experience. Some may be able to experience more than others. So as parents we would be sad for our children but do not mistake that for not loving your child. In this world, no one is perfect and we all have some type of cross to bear. Parents of handicap children are very special people and should be recognized more often for the hard and loving jobs that they do.
• United States
17 Sep 08
look miss i will be honest with you i was born handicapped it is mental health handicap and i take one day at a time my mother god bless her she could never hate me ive been through so much and im only 28 so the answer is no baby is handicapped where all lovable no matter who you are we are all gods children just remember he is your flesh and blood take it slow she will be good im sure show him love and affection he will grow up to be a wonderful boy