do you believe a husdband and wife should stay together for thier children

@heaven11 (1159)
United States
September 17, 2008 6:40pm CST
lately i have heard alot of people say that they are unhappy in thier marriage but they are going to stay together for the kids and each time i hear someone say that i have to ask them what sense does that make dont you think its going to hurt the kids more to see the hostility between the 2 of you the constant arguing sleeping in diffrent rooms i have 2 kids and i do not believe i could put them through that its not fair to them and i know its not fair for thier parents to split either but i just feel it would hurt them in the long run . sure i agree to try to work things out but seerate for a few days weeks to try to figure out what to do dont put the kids in the middle i have a lot of people say im wrong so does anyone agree
8 people like this
33 responses
@austere (2816)
• Philippines
18 Sep 08
if there is still love between the two, then it's alright to stay together, but if they no longer love each other and they are just staying together for the kid's sake, i dont think that's right. the family will only end up chaotic and unhappy. the children will only witness the couples quarreling and fighting. it's always best to move on and live separate lives that living in the same roof that's meaningless.
@heaven11 (1159)
• United States
18 Sep 08
thanks for responding
@austere (2816)
• Philippines
18 Sep 08
no problem. see you around and happy mylotting!
1 person likes this
@SaintAnne (5453)
• United States
18 Sep 08
I don't think they should. I agree with you that it hurts more, from a kid's perspective, to see one's parents be hostile and cruel to each other. I was about 7 or 8 when my parents started having problems and I wished they would separate already than having to listen to their constant arguments and be bothered by what you hear them say to each other. It took them a few years to finally be civil to each other but that's after they got a divorce.
@heaven11 (1159)
• United States
18 Sep 08
i agree but isnt it strange how they want to rip each others neck off while there together but when there apart its like there was nothing wrong
@SaintAnne (5453)
• United States
18 Sep 08
Maybe the distance and time apart made them finally get over each other. That's the only reason I could think of why they don't go at each other when they're no longer together.
1 person likes this
@lilaclady (28240)
• Australia
17 Sep 08
No I don't think parents should, but i do think they should stay civil to one another for the sake of the kids.. I believe eveyone owes it to themselves to have a happy life, you only get one chance as we know it...I say move on kids today can handle it after awhile as it is now so common...
@heaven11 (1159)
• United States
17 Sep 08
yes i agree every child deserevs to see thier parents acting in a civil manner to one another regardless of the siutation between them.i also agree if you cant make it work why force it too because in the long run someone will get hurt thanks for the response
18 Sep 08
Yeh I don't think that staying together for the sake of the kids is always the best thing to do. I think that if parents split up and are civil to one another that it will be much healthier for the kids than if the parents stay together and start to begrudge one another. If both parent's are obviously unhappy and have tried hard to make things work I think that kids will notice and although will probably be upset, may feel more comfortable and in time happier in a calmer environment.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Sep 08
I tried to stay with my ex-wife for the sake of the children and found that if we were both miserable we could not really help the kids. i have custody of the children and two weeks after she left the children all said that things were better at home. Some people can work through their problems and come out ok but it takes both partners really trying to make any marriage work.
1 person likes this
@heaven11 (1159)
• United States
18 Sep 08
thanks for responding
1 person likes this
@Darkdevil (109)
• Bangladesh
18 Sep 08
Yes i thing its very much important to husband and wife stay together for their children.Because what parents doing now it should reflect to your children in future.
1 person likes this
@heaven11 (1159)
• United States
18 Sep 08
thanks for responding
@redman7t (35)
• United States
18 Sep 08
I think marriages should stay together no matter what. I think the only real excuse to leave a marriage is if your being abused or your in danger of your life. Even after that I think your always able to forgive the person. Don't get me wrong I know that you may really dislike each other and want some space, but nowadays people get divorced for anything just like they are dating. If you don't think you can handle being with the person even if they start acting strange or being arguemental with you, then don't get married.
1 person likes this
@heaven11 (1159)
• United States
18 Sep 08
yes you are right people seem to think marriage is like a bad habbit they can drop alot of people think marriage is a game
@belk89 (1103)
• Philippines
18 Sep 08
A husband and wife should stay together because they love each other and not because they want there children to have a complete family. If the only reason for staying in one roof is for the sake of kids then it will just make the situation worst. The children will be the one who is badly hurt when they often see there parents fighting. I think it is not healthy for kids to see there parents hate each other and yelling at each other almost everyday. If there is no love at all and respect is gone. Then there is no point of staying together. It is not only good for the two of you but it is also best for the kids to have a happy and peaceful environment. In that way you can somehow pay attention on taking care of them and not so much of every heated argument you have. It is sad though that a couple who promise to love each other for better or for worst decided to end the relationship. But if the situation is getting worst and you feel nothing but hate and anger. I think it is best to just let go and live a separate lives.
1 person likes this
@heaven11 (1159)
• United States
18 Sep 08
thanks for responding
@SHAMRACK (8533)
• India
18 Sep 08
Dear friend, I hope both husband and wife has a prominent part in a child's welfare. Hence I hope it would be better if they both show their best ways to the child and moreover the child needs both for the development mostly mental development. Hence I feel it would be better if the husband and wife stay together and more than just staying, it would be better if they stay more better peacefully and happily the child too gets a better mental growth and development too. Moreover it also depends upon the parents behaviour to the child too.
@heaven11 (1159)
• United States
18 Sep 08
thanks for responding
@cher913 (25890)
• Canada
18 Sep 08
no, although divorce is devestating to a child, if there is nothing but arguing or even abuse, the parents should not be together. however, i believe that because you will always be tied to the other person via your kids, you need to treat each other with at least a little bit of respect.
1 person likes this
@heaven11 (1159)
• United States
18 Sep 08
thanks for responding
@MissGia (955)
• United States
18 Sep 08
I don't think 2 people should stay together for the children. If the 2 parents are unhappy in their relationship, how do you think that is going to affect homelife..Overall affecting the children. As long as there is not physical, mental or emotional abuse going on between the parents. I think they should try their best to work stuff out, maybe even seek a counselor, then if they realize it won't work they should go their seperate ways. I believe when a husband and wife splits up they should try to remain civil for the sake of their children. A lot of parents like to feed their children BS and turn them against one or another, and it's really sickening and selfish on their part.
1 person likes this
@heaven11 (1159)
• United States
18 Sep 08
thanks for responding
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
18 Sep 08
why stay if you are not happy the kids is going to be miserable when they see mom and dad is not getting a long.kids will never fix a marriage those problem has to be addressed before either one can be good parents.iam tired of people saying they stay because of the kids come on he don,t want to be with you anymore he loves someone else why stay.move on and he are she life will be better.
1 person likes this
@heaven11 (1159)
• United States
18 Sep 08
thanks for responding
@tthom64 (535)
• United States
18 Sep 08
First of all, I believe that parents should act civil to each other no matter what the problems. It was the parents who took the vows and then brought an innocent life into that union. The child deserves to grow up with two loving parents to support them and teach them. If you can't work out the marriage, at least don't break the poor kid's family apart. I once heard of a couple who decided to divorce but rather than selling the family home where all the kids had lived for a while (they were teenagers), each of the parents got a separate apartment. One week the mother lived with the kids, then next week the dad did. That way it was the parents who suffered the consequences of their choice, not the kids. The kids got to stay in their house, at their school with their friends, and got both parents to take care of them. I thought that was very adult of the parents. They put their kid's lives ahead of their own.
1 person likes this
@heaven11 (1159)
• United States
18 Sep 08
that was a great idea and i bet it helped out in the long run thanks for the response
@stylioJ (403)
• United States
18 Sep 08
I think it depends on the situation. If the people are just kind of unhappy, they should work on the relationship. After all, they promised to love one another for the rest of their lives. However, if there is no way for them to salvage their relationship, they should probably separate (without dragging their kids into the middle of it). It may seem better to have both parents in the house, but if there is any resentment or hostility, the children will pick up on it.
1 person likes this
@heaven11 (1159)
• United States
18 Sep 08
thanks for the response
@punkix (658)
• Philippines
18 Sep 08
yes they should! coz they are not childless for them to prioritize their feelings coz that would be so selfish. there are a lot of things that can be worked out or agreed upon coz usually couples think that they do not love each other anymore but most often than not, they are just unaware that they are bored with their usual routine or they feel so insecure about themselves that they blame it or put it against their partner. or if my explanation does not count, they are just not ready to be in a more serious relationship and having children was a mistake. its all about the maturity level and the priorities.
1 person likes this
@heaven11 (1159)
• United States
18 Sep 08
thanks for responding
@ronaldinu (12440)
• Malta
18 Sep 08
No I don't believe so. Because children are not naive and will take the non verbal cues that not everything is right between their father and mother. However I do suggest that when there are problems in a marriage with children, the couple should do their utmost to fix the problems if possible. Usually it is the children who are going to suffer first in case of divorce or separation.
1 person likes this
@heaven11 (1159)
• United States
18 Sep 08
thanks for responding
@Galena (9123)
18 Sep 08
it's a very bad idea. children will always be better off with two parents living separately and being happy than two unhappy parents under the same roof.
1 person likes this
@heaven11 (1159)
• United States
18 Sep 08
thanks for responding
• India
18 Sep 08
It is true that in every family there arises certain problems between the husband and wife. It may due to financial problems, work load, taking care of kids etc. Whatever it may be every husband and wife must try to find a solution for the problems that happen in thier life. Instead if it grows to a big problem, then the victims will be the kids. They are then one who are going to suffer. Adjustments must be made from both sides and should try to stay together for the sake of children.
@heaven11 (1159)
• United States
18 Sep 08
thanks for responding
@mona269 (133)
• Philippines
18 Sep 08
kids are a sensitive lot. they sense something is wrong even if you try hard not to let them know. i think it's not wise to stay togeher just for the sake of the children. it's tough enough for them knowing that their parents aren't in good terms. i guess staying together would complicate the situation even further for them. they'd be exposed to the "coldness" between their parents and sometimes even to the domestic violence that happens when both parents can't take things anymore.
@heaven11 (1159)
• United States
18 Sep 08
thanks for responding
• Philippines
18 Sep 08
its a hard situation, but staying together for the sake of the children is not good either, they're living in a world of lies, okay lets say, you can keep the situation and act like everything is in normal, but the question is,how long? will i guess those parents that says, they stay for the sake of the children, still love for each other, its just the both of them have a different ideas and views in life, that might the other party don't understand..they just need more understanding for each other..anyway you are not wrong a few days weeks is enough to figure out what is going on. i agree with you.
1 person likes this
@heaven11 (1159)
• United States
18 Sep 08
thanks for the response
@modstar (9610)
• Philippines
18 Sep 08
Yeah I think so. Until the time the kids are old enough to understand what's going on with their parents. Little kids need all the support they can get from their parents so at least for the mean time i think they should stay together.
1 person likes this
@heaven11 (1159)
• United States
18 Sep 08
thanks for you response