Is this considered an threat?

@cream97 (29166)
United States
September 17, 2008 8:41pm CST
My father told me that I called his house threatening him. He said that his wife said that I said, that I will give him six days to come up with my money. If, not then I will have to take further actions... I told him that I did not threaten him.. When I said this, it meant if he did not give me my money, I would go to the police. It is six days as of now.. And all of a sudden he is just now directly calling me back.. He said that I could not prove anything. He also asked me, why I got the guy involved in this. I told him that I went to the guy asking him for my money back.. This guy was the one that my father led me to believe had my money... I kept on telling him that the guy said that my father never gave him any money in his hands at all. He would never respond back to me when I asked him that. Instead, he would just talk all over me. He would never explain himself on this one. He told me that he was planning on buying me a trailer for me and the kids, but he is not doing it.. What is he talking about? I never knew him to go and buy me a trailer to live in.. Why is he getting mad at me, if he was the one that stole my money in the first place.. I am the one that should be angry..
7 people like this
19 responses
• United States
18 Sep 08
Im going to be honest here and no id have to disagree with others....If he was a real father he would ahve taken the money for one and two if he'd steal money from his own child then he'd do it to anyone. and not to mention it takes a REAL man to say yes i took the money. It wouldnt have to go as far as going to the police if he'd jsut give the money back. Family is one thing yes but stealing from your family is another. To be honest if i was in your situation id give him 1 week to give me my money or put it in the mailbox and after that it would be done with however if he choose not to id take him to court faster than he could blink. Sounds mean but you know what the truth is the truth. Everyone says bloods thicker than water but not all familys are peachy king and everyone has problems but stealing is a big problem.
3 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
18 Sep 08
I sooooo agree with you ProudMommy!! You hit the nail right on the head!! If he was any type of a father to begin with, he wouldn't have taken his daughter's money AND since he did, he should've been a father and pay it back but apparently, he's not much of a father at all. What a sad sad shame. Another thing, the reason he's mad at you is to make you feel guilty, and for what?? He's the one who should feel guilty!! He's the one who took your money and ran!! What a low life he is!! Now is that a threat? It could be taken that way or as a promise but you'll have to live up to that promise/threat if you said it or they'll blow you off any other time you get upset over another situation. Don't back down, take it to court. AND a verbal agreement is just as good as any signed contract. My father was told that a long time ago and it's true. It's better to have a written one BUT, a verbal one is just as good so do your thing and take it to court. If you lose your father over this, it's HIS own fault, not yours so hold your head up high!
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
18 Sep 08
Yes, you are right! I hate to take him to court over this.. The reason why I would take him is because he stole my money. He said that he would pay me back.. But, he is held liable for taking my money to give to the guy, which he never in the first place gave to him..
@Hatley (164389)
• Garden Grove, California
18 Sep 08
cream do you know for sure that the guy you went to see is'telling you the truth? is your bond with your father'good enough that you would know if he is the one lying? One or the other is lying to you so you need to know which one it is? Has your father lied to you before? i dont know why he should get mad at you unless maybe he is telling the truth and the other guy did lie to you.this seems really tangled but I do not know your dad like you do either. Why not just ask your dad for that amountof money without any threats of anykind, jus say dad I need x number of dollars, if you can buy me a trailor then you can pay me this x number of dollars. if he will pay you then just let it go dont make an issue and dont ask for anything more from him. seems he is not on good terms with you, is he?
2 people like this
@Hatley (164389)
• Garden Grove, California
18 Sep 08
cream from all I have read here I think you will have to sue your dad for the money and perhaps just the thought might make him dig up the money and pay you. what a shame he has to act like this, but you do have your family to think of.
2 people like this
@chabawel (330)
• Philippines
18 Sep 08
Unfortunate thing happened. I watched a lot of court shows wherein a daughter sues her father, a relative sue each other. Very very sad when the other party don't admit that they borrowed money and promised to repay the other party. As your case, too many people are involved. You need to settle everything first with your father with no other people around. Just between the two of you. If your father denies any money he borrowed from you then better take him to court. If you have any written promissory note which your father had signed that he indeed borrowed money and had specified the date when he will repay you, then you will definitely win the case. But, if there's no note, only verbal agreement between the two of you and there's no witness of handing of money to your father, then better kiss your money goodbye. The sad part on this situation is your relationship to your father is being tarnished. It's up to you if you want to rekindle your father-daughter relationship. Hope you will find a way to get through this.
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
18 Sep 08
Nope no note.. That is why my dad says that I can't prove anything.. He would never bring me to the guy's house to give him the money... He just took the money from my hands, without me getting a receipt.. My dad planned this entire thing.. He spent my money and was hoping to return the money at his expense.. But, I caught up with him when it was too late.. Now, he is being mad at me, because, want what is mines..
• United States
18 Sep 08
I dotn know if i would run to the police with this quite yet. It is family, and though we dont always get along with them, we need to try to work things out without getting the law involved, otherwise the relationship can and usually will be permanently damaged. Your main question was "is this considered a threat" well it does sound like a threat, but i have a saying, if i really mean something when i say it.."its not a threat, its a promise" its a threat only if u dont follow through.
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
18 Sep 08
Yes, I would assume so.. That was my way of scaring my father, so that he will pay me my money back. Since, he refused to call me back.. He has been very mean.. I will not call the police, I will just let God handle him.. I am not fighting with him, he is fighting with me.. He should never have stolen from me in the first place..
1 person likes this
• Canada
18 Sep 08
He is getting angry because it is his way of making you feel like the bad guy. He is trying to put the blame on you. Did you ever get a receipt? if not then you will not be able to go to the police because you have no proof. They may talk to him for you and try to reason with him but they cannot press charges to get your money back. I sincerely hope he gets a clue and just gives you your money back before he ruins your relationship hun. Hugs and good luck.
2 people like this
@izathewzia (5141)
• Philippines
18 Sep 08
He must be nuts. He is trying to escape the situation. And turning it all around with you. He needs a help by specialist. So he will be back on his senses.
• United States
19 Sep 08
i had something kind of like this happen to me but i cant go into detail about it.. its crazy how people tend to find threats in something that has nothing to do with it..
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Sep 08
i hate it when you have to do something drastic just to make people realize that you are serious
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Sep 08
ugh what a freakin mess!!
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
19 Sep 08
Yes, it is a mess.. A mess that my father created.. Now, he has to get himself out of this mess.
1 person likes this
@moondancer (7434)
• United States
18 Sep 08
If your father stole your money that is the issue and he needs to give it back to you not give it to someone else. Getting someone else involved leads to confusion, as it apparently has. He said he gave it to him for you and the guy said he doesn't know what your dad is talking about...this leaves you hanging. In a way it does, unless your dad can produce a receipt for the man having the money then he still owes you. Take proper actions to get your money, like send him some dates letters and make copies for yourself, any phone calls write them down and what was said and by whom, also the dates. If it is not paid, take him to small claims court. If this is what it takes to get your money it may have to be done. It doesn't really matter how they perceive a phone call from you, he acknowledged owing the money and needs to pay it. Unless he does want further actions taken against him, right? You need that money. You may have to find out from your court system what the limit is on how much you can retrieve from small claims court. It is different in different states. Some it's $1500, yet others up to $5,000. Having as many written papers on your side and things to prove your case is best for you. Like he was the only other person in the home besides you and your children at the time that could have taken it, the conversations with him and his wife as to the return of the money, the fact that he said he was giving the money to someone else for you, anything that will help you prove he took your money. Especially a paper trail showing you tried to get it back and him saying he would get it back to you, or phone calls taped, or text messages saying he will get it back to you. Save everything. The best of luck to you dear. We have all I think had family steal from us, it's not pleasant at all. it puts us in a precarious position. They have to learn they can not take advantage of us.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
18 Sep 08
Yes, you are right! I dates, but just no receipt of anything. I gave my dad the money in trust, believing that he would give this guy the money and not take it for his own means. But, my dad did otherwise.... He ripped me off instead..
• United States
18 Sep 08
Then I'd try to get as much in writing as I suggested before or in phone calls, taped or text messages that will back up your claim and if he won't pay...take him to court and get it. If you win your case he will have to pay you and the court cost which is usually $50. Best of luck to you dear. I'm sorry but I'd never trust him like that again, the old adage...burn me once shame on you burn me twice shame on me. But try and get your money dear, don't let him get away with this type of behavior. And everytime you talk to him or his wife about it, write all down.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
18 Sep 08
Yes, I know. I have dates written down and I have where he texted me on an cell phone from his house phone..
@nicholejade (2430)
• Canada
18 Sep 08
As so as you said " I will give him six days to come up with the money and if not then you will take further actions." That is a threat right there. I think in this case your father is right that you really can't prove anything and the police are not going to do anything about it. However your best bet is to take him to small claims court but even then you have to prove that you gave your father money which is going to be hard if you didn't get a receipt. Also you will also have to pay a court fee and with the money that you did give your father is it really worth it? I suggest you just take your losses and forget about it. Let this be a lesson to you not to give your father money and always have a paper trail of the money that you give out.
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
18 Sep 08
Yes I agree! I am not ever going to trust my father again.. He made it hard for me to get an receipt.. He never took me to the guy's house.. But for every other dealings in life where they involve other parties, I will always have an receipt. But, with my dad, I trusted him to give me the guy the money. I have always trusted my dad. I know that he has made some really bad mistakes in life.. But, I just never thought that he would do this to me. This shocked me.. But, I had a feeling that he was planning on taking my money.
• Canada
20 Sep 08
Thats the problem that you are trusting and then they go and backstab you. I never do business with family nor would I ever want to. It is more burden than I could handle. Families are usually the worst to deal with than a complete stranger.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
20 Sep 08
Yes, from this experience, they are..
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
18 Sep 08
don,t get upset you did nothing wrong he owes you and he needs to pay i know you hate to go to the police on him to get him to pay you, but if this is the only way you can get your money and get peace you do what you have to do. see people don,t remember when you have done them a favour they forget and like you said get mad at you don,t worry it,s going to be ok. have a bless day.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
19 Sep 08
Thanks! It will be okay. I have something better in mind.. I will let God handle him. He can do more with him, then I can..
@jonesy123 (3950)
• United States
18 Sep 08
Sadly, I have to say, it really looks like you dad is the one who took it, not the guy he supposively handed it off to. I know you can't afford to, but personally I would count it as a lesson learned and move on, forget about the money and my father. Obvioulsy, he has not your best interest in mind. As it is, no it was not a thread you made, just an ultimatum, a notice of legal actions in his future, if he doesn't pay you your money back. $90 don't buy a trailer. Doubtful he will buy you one. It's just another excuse. Really sad to be used by ones own father like that. Been there, done that, with FIL. My husband was devastated. When my FIL finally came to his senses, he made amends, apologized and paid us back double and triple. I think he still feels guilty about it. I think until your father ultimately understands what he has done has ruined his relationship with you and his grandkids, and with everybody involved, that it was something terrible to do in the first place but especially bad when ones own kids are involved, may then he'll try and set things right. Until then, forget about him.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
19 Sep 08
Yes, I hope this will hit him hard. He is trying to make me out as the bad guy. He hung the phone up on me and he was yelling.. He never really could explain what REALLY happened to my money.. He just kept on running off at the mouth.. My dad holds grudges really bad.. I know because, he holds some now on my two sisters.. So, from this, I know that he hates me.. But, it was his fault. What did he think? He must have thought that I would just sit and not collect what is owed to me? I guess he thought wrong!
@checapricorn (16066)
• United States
18 Sep 08
[i]Hi cream, Maybe he is just defensive about it...I am so sorry about this, I know you're in a tough situation and just disappoint also with your dad, he is supposed to be the first person who will support you and never put you in a situation like this... ANyway, I hope he will realize that he is very unfair to you now and wish his wife will also advice him to act like a father![/i]
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
18 Sep 08
Yes, as far as my step mother is concerned, she does not really care for me and my sister that much. She may talk to us, but she does not deal with us like that.. If anything she was on his side when my dad was telling me about the appliances.. She was saying, you can't beat that, for $350.00 you will get all of this.. But, she had nothing to do with this situation..
@palonghorn (5485)
• United States
18 Sep 08
First off, the police is not who you would need to contact. Yes, in a sense he 'stole' money from you, however, you handed him to the money to pay this other man, correct? So the police would not see it has theft. You could take him to court over it, but I'm thinking the court cost would be more than what he owed you, of course if you won, he might have to also pay court cost. But, in order to do that and win, you would have to have documentation, a receipt from you father for the money he gave you, a canceled check, etc. Would the man that was supposed to have received the money from your father testify to that fact? I know that from you discussions, your father, for whatever reason took advantage of you, and used the money for something else than what it was intended for. You may be better off just letting it go, but let your father know that unless or until he at the very least is honest with you in what happened or returns the money you will have no contact with him. Tough, yes, but it may just be what it takes.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
18 Sep 08
Yes, after I get my money, I will distance myself from him. My sister has been telling me to do so for quite some time now, but I would not listen.. I kept communicating with my dad because I loved and trusted him. But, after he did this, I no longer know how I feel anymore.. I don't hate him, I just dislike how he took advantage of me..
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
18 Sep 08
I would say take that guy with you and both of you go to your father. You cannot go to your father alone because he taking advantage of you. What you need to do is to get this guy to go with you and he will tell your father that he never gave him the money. That trailer bit is an excuse. Your father never intended to give back the money to begin with. If you can find witnesses to the transaction then that would help. I doubt if it will stand up in court unless you have a paper trail.
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
18 Sep 08
Yes, that is true. The guy wanted me to put my dad on three way while he was on the phone.. He wanted to hear what my dad will say about him giving the guy the money. I would rather him go directly to my dad and hear this.. That way, I can see who is going to lie and not tell the truth.
• Singapore
18 Sep 08
Really. Don't get mad at each other. You are family. If things get worse you would really regret one day. As far as possibly settle thing amicably. God bless.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
18 Sep 08
I am not.. The only one that is mad would be my father.. He holds grudges longer than you can hold your breath.
@lingli_78 (12844)
• Australia
18 Sep 08
well, even if this is considered as a threat, so be it... i'm sorry to say but your father is really acting like a jerk and he is really mean to steal money from his own daughter... so i think that you are doing the right thing... if he doesn't return you the money within the specific time that you had given him, then just take him to court... i don't know whether you can win though unless you have evidence and witnesses to back you up... good luck... take care and have a nice day...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Sep 08
I'm confused...but let me tell you what I understood..Yes you sounded like you were threatening your father. Why would you call the police against your father? He is your father right? How big is this money if you don't mind me asking that you will do this to your own father. I would never do that to my dad even if he owed me loads. Maybe if you both talk with each other calmly you might get a solution to your situation without having to fight. Tell him that you just need your money back because of your purpose for it maybe if that's the way you handle it maybe he will sort it out. Sorry if I seem to offensive..I just have very high respect with my parents and so does people here in our country.We don't do that to our parents. I just wanted to understand your situation. Take care and I hope this gets settled soon.
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
19 Sep 08
I have been calling my dad about my money, but he would not return my phone calls.. He stole my money. I put money into his hands, thinking that he will gave the guy the money, but he did not.. My intentions are not getting him into trouble.. I told him that if he does not pay me back my money, then I would call the police and make a report.. My money was for appliances, but my father somehow, tricked me into thinking that he was giving it to the guy, but instead he used it for his own means..
• United States
18 Sep 08
woh....either u have crappy parents or a lying boyfriend..no offense..but isnt there some legal action you can take?
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
18 Sep 08
Yes, there is..
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
18 Sep 08
Yes, it is considered a threat. Basically saying "or else" in any manner is considered a threat. It seems rather hard to believe that one more person is now against you by taking your money - your own father? Wow, talk about a dysfunctional family. Don't any of you actually talk things out like normal people? Or does everyone just talk "at" each other, never really resolving any problems?
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
18 Sep 08
I have .. I called and asked him to please call me back about my money... He never would.. I have not heard from him in a week until yesterday.. I have tried to work it out with him. I have even waited for him to come over or call me back from the number that I called him from.. When the guy told me that he never received my money, that is when I knew something was up.. My gut told me that my dad took the money and used it for his own means.. He would not even admit to taking my money.. I asked him if he took it.. I told him what the guy said about him never getting any money from my dad, but my dad would not even answer my question. So, from that what do you think that I am supposed to believe...?? That he took my money...