why do we have to say no to someone that we love?

Philippines
September 18, 2008 12:29am CST
hi there guys! i just want to ask you this question. because a friend of mine who has started to court me. i feel so sad because even if i love him i still have to say no. i have been convincing myself that this would be the best for both of us even if we love each other. i have lots of doubts and what ifs in my mind. and i have been justifying to myself that i have made the right decision. and right now...it hurts...i just want to cry. why is it that we have to do this..why wouldnt everything be just simple and easy?
4 responses
@newmum (26)
18 Sep 08
Why are you saying no? you didnt put that in your discussion, i was best friends with a guy for 5 yrs, i always fancied him and never knew but he felt the same way, eventually we got things straight and dated for three years, we were passionately in love and laughed all the time, i could lie and say were still together and things are great, but theyre not, were not even friends, we were just two different people and ended up going our seperate ways, but i had my first love, and as the old saying goes "it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all", i wouldnt change it for the world, three years is a long time and we had a great time, but he just wasnt the right person for me, but what oif he had of been?? and we hadnt of given it the chance and gone for it?? we could of missed out on sharing those three years altogether. Go for it. he doesnt have to be mr right, but he may be mr right now!
• Philippines
18 Sep 08
thank you so much for your response. it gives me great comfort to read your opinion. i hope that if we are ment to be, we would also endure everything that you have endured. and if he is not mr. right...then im sure he would work it out so he would turn out to be my mr. right. but before this..ill just have to cross my fingers and hope that i have done the right thing and that if we are really ment to be, God would lead him back to me.
• Australia
18 Sep 08
i say if you feel the same go for it! you neva know you might jus be ment for each other dont hold back jus coz u dont want to get hurt or are scared it could end bad. your relationship with grow & strengthen, my partner & i were besties for 4 yrs & he wanted to b wid me & i turned him down even thought i loved him for 8 months n now were happy as every and have been toget ehr for nearly 4 yrs. so if you do hav feling for him i say follow them
• Philippines
18 Sep 08
i really really would like to do what you say. you just dont know how many times i would like to call him and mend things up. but maybe im a afraid that he would reject me or something. i want to slap myself sometimes because i just cant push myself to commit to him. i always feel that something is holding me back. when i started to say yes....something would always pop out of my head. thus causing this doubts and fears. so i ended up saying no to him instead. this really really saddens me until this day.
• Philippines
18 Sep 08
It hurts to really let someone go despite of the feelings you have for him/her. However, I just totally wonder why would you let him go despite the fact that you love him? You didn't mention your reason in your discussion why you did that.
• Philippines
18 Sep 08
its just that i always have this feeling that this isnt yet the right time for us. but i always hurt when i see him with other girls, that is why sometimes, i want to take back what i have said to him.
@eneria (118)
• Philippines
23 Oct 08
you should yourself about that question... maybe, you are just afraid to take an commitment., but you cannot just stick to that.. you should take the risk.. in loving, you will not just feel all the good one, you will, eventually feel the pain and be hurt.. just go with the flow... you'll never know, maybe you already let go the man you ever wanted...:)