Does Being A Stay At Home Mom Make you Lazy?

United States
September 19, 2008 8:58am CST
I am a stay at home mom and absolutely love being able to be involved with my kids all the time. But seems that I am perceived my many as being lazy. I constantly get these remarks "Have you gone back to work yet?" "When are you going to go back to work" " What are you going to do when your kids are grown?" I am a stay at home mom by my choice! My husband has a good job and we live comfortably. We may do without some things but that comes with my choice of staying home. It doesn't bother me as much as those around me. What's your opinion on this?
12 people like this
56 responses
@akpay22 (132)
• India
19 Sep 08
I was a working Mom for past 5 years but for past 2 months I am a stay at home Mom. I am enjoying it too. Spending quality time with my daughter. Both of us are loving it. Being at home making me lazy No Chance at all. Its a full time job. There are so many things to do. There are so many things like cooking, cleaning up , folding clothes, getting the homework done from kid. It keeps me so busy that I just dont have leisure time at all. I feel I am more busy at home, than office.
• United States
19 Sep 08
I'm right there with you. I think it was easier for me to work! LOL I'm loving every minute of it though. Enjoy your kids whil yo can!
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
19 Sep 08
Yes, that is what it is!
1 person likes this
@Nhey16 (2519)
• Philippines
28 Oct 08
i agree :) im a stay home mom, and im always busy... doing everything as soon as i wake up til before going to bed.
@kymommy72 (588)
• United States
19 Sep 08
I am a stay at home mom...and I am far from being lazy! I work just as hard as a mother that works outside the home. My day starts at 6 and doesn't end to my last little one is in bed about 9. There is breakfast to make, bedrooms to clean, dishes to do, floors to sweep and mop, playing with my little ones, reading time, teaching my son, dinner to make and then clean up from, and those are just a bit of my daily schedule. Anyone one who thinks that stay at home moms sit around all day watching soap operas and eating cheetos, needs a reality check. Now, don't get me wrong I have all the respect in the world for working outside of the home moms. For them to hold down part time or full time jobs, then have to come home and do all that I mentioned about is unbelievable to me. To me, they truly are super moms. Being a mom is hard work whether you are a stay at home or work outside the home and I think we all deserve respect for what we do.
2 people like this
• United States
19 Sep 08
I respect working mothers too becasue I've been one. I just think that people are very rude by implying that you have no purpose or plans for your future if you choose and are able to stay at home. I enjoy it because my children are getting older and I am realizing that I want to spend as much time as I can with them now and not turn around one day and say "Where did the time go". Kudos to all the stay-at-home moms!
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Sep 08
I completely agree. It seems like just yesterday I was watching my son crawl around on the floor and now he's almost 4 and will soon be off to school. And my youngest will be one next month. I love staying home with them and watching them grow. I actually feel bad for my hubby who misses out on those day to day things I get to see. I am very grateful to be a stay at home mom. Of course some moms don't have that option. Some HAVE to work to help support their family, or they are single moms who work to give their children a good life. They have my admiration.
• United States
22 Sep 08
They grow up way to fast and I feel blessed to have the opportunity to spend time with them while I can. I'm sure when they both are gone and on their own I will find plenty to occupy myself! LOL
@nanajanet (4436)
• United States
20 Sep 08
I guess my answer would be, "Why do you ask?" or "Does it really matter if I work or not?" Better yet would be, "Actually, it's really none of your business but we have plenty of money and I don't have to send my kids to be with strangers while I work. Aren't I the lucky one!"
2 people like this
@penny64 (1106)
• Australia
21 Sep 08
Great answer! It's funny, because reading your suggestion, I thought that I could never say that because it would be rude ... yet how rude are those people who make me feel bad for not working for an employer?
1 person likes this
@penny64 (1106)
• Australia
21 Sep 08
I'm always being asked when I'm going to go back to work, even though I have my own successful home business as well as care for my four year old! I didn't realise that the attitude was so universal until I saw this discussion. It really annoys me, because people make assumptions and try to guiltify me as though I'm being unfair on my husband because I don't have their idea of a "real job". Everyone's situation is different. You don't have to fit the mould to be happy and successful and great parents. People should just get on with their own lives, and stop expecting everyone else to fit into their little squares.
2 people like this
@andak2007 (3229)
• Philippines
19 Sep 08
i am a stay at home mom also by choice..i have 3 small kids to take care of and i really am happy taking care of them...im not lazy..just think i ran around the house doing chores and such i do not even have enough time to comb my hair sometimes...just do not listen to those many talks and questions about when are you going to work..and do not give them excuses..it is your own life and if you are happy just being a stay home mom so be it.
2 people like this
@rainmark (4306)
19 Sep 08
Honestly, im a fulltime mother and i always staying at home. Sometimes it's so boring and it makes me lazy. After cleaning the house and looking after the baby i just sit down and do myloting then watching tv, then the next day same routine again.But one thing makes me busy is my son. Very energetic and he makes me tired!
2 people like this
• United States
19 Sep 08
well i think people who make those remarks to you either never had kids are didn't get to stay at home with theirs.i am also a stay at home mom of 2 kids and i love it and it is by choice because i don't want to pay more for daycare then i bring home a week. i did work for a little while when i only had one but it was at a daycare and i took her with me.now the being lazy part sure every stay at home mom might have those days where you lounge a little but for me i still have the house clean still take care of the kids and of course dinner still gets made...i would say lazy is more of a feeling then an action because you still do what you have to.
@JenInTN (27564)
• United States
23 Jan 09
I am not a stay at home mom but I don't think that women who are are lazy at all. I would be home with my kids if at any way possible. I would love to be more involved with them and their school but ai do what I can. I think that if it's in your means to do it that you should. It's good for the kids too. Besides that what can anyone around you say about your life? As long as you and your husband and your children are happy..who cares. Sometimes you give things up for the bigger picture so doing without things sometimes doean't make a stay at home mom lazy or a bad thing.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Jan 09
I agree everyone is not in a situation to do this. I feel like it is a priviilege to be able to stay at home with my kids. And you're right ther are sacrifices with whatever path you choose. Thanks for the response!
• United States
22 Jan 09
I go through this too, and it bothers me a lot. I try to show people what I do in a day, and they say stupid things like, "Yeah, when I had kids your age I kept my house spotless, cooked four course meals every night, and worked three jobs." How the heck did they do ALL of that? Those kind of lies are what I'm surrounded with when people decide to judge my decision not to work outside the house. It's so frustrating, but I'm not going to allow them to change me or my life.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Jan 09
I truly feel that a lot of those kind of responses come from an underlying jealousy problem on their part. Keep up the good work! Have a great day and thanks for the response!
@Shellyann36 (11244)
• United States
21 Oct 08
I think it depends on the person. Honestly I have seen some women that sit on their bums all day long, watch tv, eat and the kids run around like wild animals looking as if they are left alone all day long. On the other hand there are the women that keep the kids straight and keep up with the household chores, cooking, etc. I do not feel that MOMS, SAHMs are lazy at all. Most moms do more by 9 than some folks do all day. There are just the few that are lazy individuals regardless of whether they are moms or not.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Oct 08
This is true there are exceptions in anything but for the most part I think SAHM jobs are harder than any. Thanks for responding an have a great day!
@neftari1 (31)
22 Sep 08
you go girl. People who make comments to you like "have you gone back to work" are probabally just jealous. If your happy and your husband can afford to have you stay at home I say wonderful. Don't let anyone make you feel that your "lazy".
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Sep 08
You're right jealousy is usually the root of the remarks. I don't think I'll have any problem occupying myself when they are on their own. Maybe then I'll be Lazy!! LOL Have a good day!
@bellis716 (4806)
• United States
22 Sep 08
Bless you for being there for your children. It gives them a sense of security. The mother is usually the child's first teacher. When my children were small, there was no public kindergarten in our state, but when they started first grade they were were prepared and did well in school. Staying at home does not make a mother lazy; that person makes herself lazy.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Sep 08
Laziness is a choice and there are also people that work full time jobs that are lazy. I don't think the profession you choose makes you lazy. Laziness is sometimes a result of boredom and I don't know about anyone elses but my kids wont allow you to be bored. They can be quite entertaining at times! LOL
@jfeets726 (775)
• United States
19 Sep 08
Lol, I don't know if I can still be considered a stay at home mom, as my daughter just started prek, but I stayed home with her since she was 9 months old. Throughout that time, I started working from home. I am trying to work during the days now that she is in school, but I would work a little bit at night after everyone went to sleep before. Being a stay-at-home mom is enough work, but even people who knew I was working and making a part-time income would be like "so, when are you going back to work." Luckly, my family and parnter are very supportive. I seriously want to scream whenever someone is like "so what is happening with Days or Our Lives?" Hello, I don't watch it. Just becuase someone stays at home with their kids it does not mean they are lazy or can't get a job. Just like you said, it is a choice. I don't think that working moms are better than stay at home moms or visa versa, it is just a personal choice.
• United States
19 Sep 08
Oh Yeah! I forgot that we are supposed to be up to date on every TV show too. I get that one a lot. Especially Soaps. Funny thing is it is very little TV I watch period. I haven't really seen anyhting that can hold my interest on TV except for a weather update to see if my kids are playing ball or not! LOL Suport is so important whn you choose to be at home.
@oyenkai (4398)
• Philippines
12 Jan 09
Hey! I'm no mom :P I'm not even married! :D I'm young and loving it. Anyway, I still wanted to respond and I hope you don't mind that I chose this even though I'm not qualified. I think it's cool that mom stay with their kids instead of work - by choice of course! I think it's cruel if a mom were FORCED to stay home with her kids because she's the type who finds joy in her other work :) And I'm happy that it doesn't bother you whatever how other people perceived you. I honestly think that staying at home is so much more difficult - having to take care of kids, of the house, of the husband and keeping in shape :) All spells c-o-o-l to me! Thanks for the response on my discussion!
1 person likes this
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
17 Dec 08
I wouldn't think of a stay at home mum as lazy. To keep a home neat and clean is no easy feat! And to have to look after the kids as well, I am sure the stay at home mum is busy from dawn till dusk. From cleaning to cooking to bathing the kids. On top of that, chores for the home has to be done as well. Who ever said stay at home mums are lazy, know none the better! It is not easy to be a stay at home mum. All the work at no salary. If I can afford to let my wife be a stay at home mum when we have kids, I would encourage her to too! Let the rest say what they want. As long as you are happy with your current arrangement, let them say what they want. It don't matter much!
@jewel76 (2305)
• Canada
23 Sep 08
For those of you who can afford to be stay at home moms...God bless you!! You are very,very lucky, and no, you're not lazy at all!! In fact, you work more than most of us outside the home do. I was a stay at home mom until my son turned 5 months old...then i had to go back to work, for financial reasons...it broke my heart, but at the same time, gave me somewhat of a break, even though i do work hard at my job, it's not the same thing. Yes, you're lucky to be with your children all the time, but also, im sure you would like to be able to take 15 minutes break, every now and then, or have an hour for lunch, like we do at work, and i KNOW it's not possible with kids, especially a little baby!!
1 person likes this
@jdyrj777 (6556)
• United States
21 Sep 08
Only people that are not stay at home moms would think its being lazy. Or maybe they are just jealous. You probably do more work being a stay at home than you would if you were going outside to work. Its your own familys business how you run your own family. Dont worry about what others think. You know what is best for you and yours. I think the children benifit better with mom at home. Who else can better take care of the children than mom? Or even dad? When my children were little unfortunately i was alone so i had to work outside. When i had my daughter i got assistance and stayed home with the children till she was 2 years. I wished everyday that i could have been home with them. That was actually when i started looking for work at home things. Still looking for that and im grandma now.
@glords (2614)
• United States
21 Sep 08
I feel that way as well. I'm so lucky to live in a community where there are several stay at home moms, who seem to be confidant in the choice. Spending time with them makes me feel stronger about my decision to stay at home. I used to teach at a local high school, but I know that taking care of one baby is much more difficult. You are not lazy, with play dates, and story times, and doctors appointments, and various classes, the work day never ends for mom.
21 Sep 08
LAZY? wasing ,ironing,cooking,cleaning,childcare,seeing to the garbage.washing the windows,ferrying the kids about from place to place,pandering to my husbands whims and you think we are lazy?lol not in my eyes could that amount of work ever be called lazy.
@robert19ph (4584)
• Philippines
21 Sep 08
[i]Hello fasttalker, There is nothing wrong with being a stay home mom. My wife also a stay home mom. After working for 11 years in a company, we decided she stay at home and take care of our kids. It is hard being at home. There are a lot of work to do. She has to cook, wash the clothes, help with kids lesson and take care of her husband. It is a hard job being a stay home mom. I think working at office is better than being at home. Those people saying you being lazy are insane. I don't think they are capable of staying at home and do all the work there. Never mind them. They can stay in their fancy office and let a nanny take care of the children and the house. It won't be the same as with a stay home mom. Stay home mom should be given a medal, they are the real heroes. Have a great day. Regards.[/i]