How do you handle temper tantrums?

@Erin88 (348)
United States
September 19, 2008 5:37pm CST
I have a three-year-old son and he has been having tantrums every so often. They aren't really bad, but sometimes I don't know what to do. I usually end up sending him to his room until he calms down. What do you do?
7 responses
@kezabelle (2974)
21 Sep 08
I really dislike using the bedroom as a place of punishment, it should always be kept a calm place or this could disrupt their sleeping. Id use a corner somewhere in the house where you can see him to make sure he sits there. Tell him what he is doing isnt acceptable, if he is having a tantrum because he is frustrated tell him you understand that but he cant deal with it in that way and leave him for a few minutes to calm down. The mae him apologise cuddles and forget about it, what ever method you choose to deal with it though keep it consistent and dont ever stray from it or it wont ever work, sometimes I think its not so much the form of punishment but rather the fact it is used consistently that makes it work
1 person likes this
@camomom (7535)
• United States
20 Sep 08
everyone has some good ideas. my daughter is going through this too. i usually try to ignore it but you can't always do that. i have tried time outs...Doctors recommend 1 minute for every year of their life...3 years old= 3 minutes. sometimes this works. i also refuse to let her see that it's bothering me. talk calmly to them, sometimes loudly but be very calm. if they see you react it will just make them act out more. my daughter is 2 years and 3 months and i just had a baby in july so she is trying anything she can to get my attention. her tantrums can get very bad, she's jealous. i also try to give her one on one time after she calms down to show her she's still loved and that calming down gets rewarded and acting out does not. whenever she throws a tantrum now i ask her if she's a baby or a big girl and she'll tell me she's a big girl. i'll then say that big girls don't act like that and tell her to take a deep breath. and surprisingly she does take a deep breath and calms down and tells me that she's a big girl and she's sorry. i then tell her it's ok and give her a hug and tell her i love her. the main thing is to stay calm and try not to react. that works best for me.
1 person likes this
@emarie (5442)
• United States
19 Sep 08
ignore him. place in him a place where he won't hurt himself and ignore him. after a while he'll stop doing it. i had the same problem with my eldest. he'd even go as far as to hit his head on the ground (we had carpet) to get attention. we would just ignore him and then talk to him once he's calmed down. it works after a while because the kid knows that screaming and yelling isn't going to get them anything. now my kids are a little bit older. for the most part tantrums are gone, its graduated to yelling competitions and talking back. now i have to deal with this side of my son. ahhh 7 years olds...what ya gonna do?
1 person likes this
@Indira2 (10)
• Trinidad And Tobago
19 Sep 08
i had that problem with my son when he was three and i learnt the hard way to give him time outs they last the amount of time it takes for him to calm down it was hard at first esp for me to listen to him cry and no console him but i was strong he is now five and no tantrums
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Sep 08
I agree with what emarie said - ignore him. Don't react AT ALL, not even to send him to his room or give him a time out (unless he's in danger of harming himself, someone else, or something valuable). Any kind of reinforcement, even negative, gives him attention, so avoid it if you can, although that's not always feasible. Walk around him if he's in the middle of the floor. If he addresses you, let him know calmly but firmly that you are willing to talk when he calms down, and then go about your business. If you can do this, he'll learn pretty quickly that a tantrum gets him nothing, not even you negative attention, and he'll likely stop. It may take a while, but that is USUALLY the end result. It worked for my kids!
• United States
19 Sep 08
give him a time out in the corner and no matter what dont give in you are the parent he is the kid ok but sit him down after and talk to him why you put him in the corner explain why he cant be throwing tantrums
1 person likes this
@Shar1979 (2722)
• United States
1 Oct 08
I never had any problem with my daughter when it comes to tantrums. She just turned 5 now. You may try to talk and compromise with your son. It does work for me and my daughter.