Odd situation

United States
September 20, 2008 5:34pm CST
Okay let me start by saying I am my husbands second wife. We have his 2 children for his first marriage and are raising them. I am Jewish and he is Christian. We teach our kids about g-d from the old testament so not to betray either of our beliefs. My step-children have little to do with their real mom, she doesn't seem to pay them much attention. They have seen her once in 3 years and it was for the summer, she could barely handle them. She has this boyfriend who I guess is religious and while they were there they sent them to Sunday school with some friend of theirs, they didn't take them. now it seem like a big issue that we don't let them go here, but we don't go to church we don't know anyone who goes and I am not about to send them to a church where I don't know anyone. On top of that we have kids of my own who I don't particularly want going to church. I mean if when they are older and want to go to explore their options then that's okay but they are still young. Now their mom and her boyfriend mainly her boyfriend is getting upset because they don't go. They don't take care of them they don't even help support them not even child support. And he isn't talking to me or my husband about it, he's talking to the kids about it. This makes me very mad.Is that wrong? I mean he hasn't even really spent time with them except for that one summer. He doesn't know anything about them and neither does she for that matter, so do they have any say at all?
3 responses
@mimingsi (152)
• Philippines
21 Sep 08
I think it's more ethical if they (biological mother and her boyfriend) talk to you and your husband first before making decisions for the kids. You and your husband are in the authority to decide for the kids because they're under your custody.
• United States
21 Sep 08
Thank you that's how I see it. Her boyfriend never talks to us first. He talks to the kids and other family members that they have ran into in town. He should be confronting us, and not getting the kids in this web.
@yuna15 (2707)
• Philippines
21 Sep 08
Unfortunately the Mom has the right to be upset(but not the boyfriend). Since she's the mother she can still teach the children whatever she believes in even if she is not supporting them at all. I know it's going be to be hard in your part but you have no choice but to wait until they grow up and let them choose what they want to believe in.
• United States
21 Sep 08
Its not so much a matter as I care that they are taught these things, it's just she shouldn't be mad at me. And it's not really her getting that mad it's her boyfriend, she doesn't get involved unless he gets resistance from us. If she wants them to go to church she can show up and take them herself.
• India
20 Sep 08
Well if you ask me. None has a say here about anything !!Its what you people feel about it. !!Thats a preety bad thing that , he is goin and talking to kids. I mean they are still small. Cant decide stuff on their own. Well i guess about this part. You have to stop him and tell him to talk to you first and then go there. Damm ur their mom. If they are. !!Why dont they take care of them and all That. Why are they back today only !!Well thats what !! About you not leeting go to church !! thats upto you only !1Cant say in anything to that !! Anyways hope things are fine soon .Happy mylotting :)
• United States
20 Sep 08
Thank you for your comment and I have tried to talk to them, however I am afraid if I talk to them again I will let my mouth get the better of me and loose it on them. That would be my largest down fall, when I get mad I let it all out, nothing that is not truthful but still honesty can be hurtful. Last time I did this I sent their biological mom into a crying fit that I thought would never stop. It was all truthful though, I don't lie.