I Get Rid Of One Crisis Only To Have Another!! (Long Story)

@CatsandDogs (13964)
United States
September 21, 2008 5:19pm CST
Most of you know the situation however, I'll explain it again. My parents moved 4 hours away from their old house. They mortgaged house #1 to pay for house #2 because my nephew wanted to buy it because it holds so many happy memories for him. It's the only house his parents or grandparents ever kept throughout his childhood. He was getting married and DID but his wife left him almost 2 months after they got married. They were together for 4 years prior to getting married. He and his soon to be ex signed a year lease which ends this month and afterwards, they were going to buy it. Since his wife left him, he can't afford to buy it alone for he doesn't make enough money however, he feels like he owes it to my parents to stay there and pay rent on it till they're able to sell it because my parents can't afford to pay the mortgage and could very well lose the house if the mortgage isn't paid. 3 days after he got married, mom had a massive stroke in which she almost died 3 times. She was in the hospital and rehab for almost 2 months. She comes home and falls and breaks a rib and falls again and breaks her pelvis. I'm doing all I can to clean her house, grocery shop, pay their bills as well as my own household, I almost went insane trying to keep up with everything but thanks to hubby, I made it through. Hubby was going through a time too for he just lost his mother in May and he had to put his feelings aside to help me. During this time, my nephew hasn't been cutting the grass. Finally after talking to my nephew several times about it, dad blew up on him and had to have a neighbor come down and use a bush hog to mow the grass for it was so tall. Like dad needed to have another thing to worry about!! Damm my nephew and his inconsideration!! Well, the latest is, the realtor called dad and told him that she's called my nephew several times about showing the house - she's to give him 4 hours so he could clean up the place before showing it -and he hasn't returned her calls so she decided to go out to the house and talk to him. She knew he was home for his car was in the driveway but he wouldn't answer the door. She pounded on the door to no avail so she got the master key and entered the house and she said when she opened the door, she was overwelmed by the awful odor!! She said there's no way she could sell the house in it's current condition!! And she found my nephew and his roommate asleep in bed and this is the middle of the afternoon!! Dad called my nephew up and chewed him up one side and down the other!! You see, he and his soon to be ex had 2 cats that are sibilings, brother and sister. We told them they need to get them fixed or they'll breed with one another for they don't know any better. Well the hard heads didn't do it and what happened?? DUH?? They bred and had 4 kittens. They found homes for 3 and kept the one. Still, they're not fixed and can have more if they don't get fixed. Not only that but the male cat will spray his scent everywhere to get the females attention!! The smell is horrindous!! Trust me, I know for it's how I learned from having two male cats and not having them fixed BEFORE they were 6 months old! They sprayed everywhere and anywhere and the smell will knock you over!! So I can only imagine how much this two males, yes the kitten is also a male, sprayed and where. Now I KNOW that house was spotless when mom and dad moved from that place because I saw mom clean every deg gone window inside and out before she left. I told her she was nuts in doing so because my nephew and his ex weren't going to keep it that way but she wouldn't listen to me. Now she sees what I was trying to tell her. Well, the house needs a paint job something awful because you can see where every picture was on the wall for there's an outline. I told my parents that hubby and I are more than willing to go up there and paint the whole house as well and clean the carpets with my shampooer that I'd take with me along with a bunch of cleaning supplies and we could stay at my friends house for the duration of this, but good gosh!! It would take hubby and I a week or longer to pull off such a thing off!! We can't be gone that long for we have a house full of fur babies that we'll need to get back to. My dad is too elderly to come here every night to feed them. I can take my 3 dogs with me so that's not a problem but my cats, I don't know of anybody that could feed them. I could leave bowls and bowls of dry cat food out for them but who'll clean their litter boxes? SH!T SH!T SH!T!!!! There has to be somebody somewhere that can help me but who?? So I'm going to send out a massive email alert to everyone in that area such as my two brothers and their wives, and friends and their friends and so on and get a bunch of us together in hopes we can get this job done in a hurry!! I only hope that I can round up a bunch of us for we're going to need every little bit of help that we can get!! Now to turn this into a discussion, have you ever had to round up a bunch of people to help you out in something so dire? This is my first and I hope it's my last!!!!
6 people like this
11 responses
@carmelanirel (21108)
• United States
22 Sep 08
Oh I am so sorry CatsandDogs, if you lived near me, both my daughter and I can take care of the animals, that is what we are doing in between trying to get a job..And I could help with cleaning your parents home, I believe they have products to get rid of that "cat" smell and yes, I know that smell very well..That is one reason I didn't want a cat, but fortunately my daughters cat is one of those "clean" cats, she doesn't smell.. I will be praying, maybe you can find someone who is willing to help you... So, tell me, your nephew has moved out, right? That would be the first step you need to take..
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
22 Sep 08
Thanks carmelanirel... Female cats don't spray, only the males do but still, a female can be a "dirty" cat by peeing outside the litter box. Females are more expensive to have fixed but I think they're better to have over a male because even when nuetering a male cat before 6 months of age, it's still a 50/50 chance that he won't spray. No my nephew hasn't moved out. If he does then mom and dad will lose the house because they can't afford to pay the mortgage. His rent pays most of it - mom gave him a $75. break which is sooooo stupid of her but it happened before dad or I knew anything about it. Anyway, we all need him to stay to pay rent so the mortgage gets paid until it's sold. Sticky situation, huh? ARG!!
3 people like this
• United States
22 Sep 08
Yes, I knew females didn't spray, but I also know they can be stinky..And yes, it is a sticky situation..Have you had a serious heart to heart with your nephew or is that a waste of time? Too bad you can't get a professional house cleaner to go through and then bill him for the fee..I hope this works out, I don't know what else to say..
3 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
22 Sep 08
No talking to him, it would be a complete waste of time. He does what he wants when he wants. Besides, getting him to answer his cell phone is like pulling teeth so I won't even try. He got my email via myspace and I know he checks it often so he'll know how dire it is to straighten up. Look at the response I gave just above yours, you'll see the two emails I sent out. Tell me what you think, do they both sound alright to you?
3 people like this
• United States
22 Sep 08
Oh My lord Woman: You've got one heck of situation going on there; I'm so sorry, I too wish I was closer to where you lived, I'd help out with those furbabies too; as for the nephew, if you've not already I'd be kickin some sense into him; please tell me someone is gonna MAKE HIM be there too to help clean up HIS MESS!! Seriously, if it takes brute force I'd make his stupid butt be there, make HIM clean up all the cat spray/messes; what a dumba$$!!! I feel for you, I really do, you've got so much riding on your shoulders as it is with your Mom & Dad's Health ( don't forget your own now) but now this mess and then trying to make the house sellable again in a already crappy market!! OMG!! I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers, hang in there!! {{cyberhugs}}, it ain't much but I hope it helps out;
3 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
22 Sep 08
Thank you dreamweaverjan.... He BETTER be there to help!! Afterall, it's HIS mess we're cleaning up!! I can't be mean to him because he's got the advantage over me in two ways, his contract is up and he could bail. Mom and dad can't afford the mortgage by themselves and us three kids can't do it. And he's much bigger than I am. He's a BIG boy! lol Besides, his wife just left him so I can put SOME, very little though understanding in his situation but this cats not getting fixed happened last year when we all were telling him he better get them fixed or he'll have kittens but he nor his wife didn't do it and STILL haven't. But he BETTER be there when hubby and I get there or there will be HELL to pay!!
2 people like this
@Thoroughrob (11771)
• United States
21 Sep 08
Wow, I hope someone helps you out. It would be good if you could have a day and everyone pitch in. I wish you luck.
2 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
22 Sep 08
It's going to take more than just one day but if I can get anybody to help for a day then we'll get a lot done but I hope and pray that I can find more than one and more than one day. We'll see how it goes but some how, some way, we'll get it done because we have to relieve this heavy burden off of my parents. Dad has a heart condition that the doctor said the next heart attack will take him and mom just had a bad bad stroke so something has to give somewhere.
2 people like this
@Thoroughrob (11771)
• United States
22 Sep 08
One of these days girl, you guys are going to have something really nice happen to you. You have dealt with this head on and have done a great job. Hopefully it will settle down soon.
2 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
23 Sep 08
Awwww!! You're so kind to say that!! Well, I haven't had much of a choice in the matter. I've been kind of thrown into the situation and now I have to do what ever I can to make it right and damm I'm trying!!
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (43962)
• United States
23 Sep 08
Holy moly CatsandDogs I'm getting dizzy just reading all this. All I can say is that your in my thoughts and prayers and can get someone to help you out, especially the angle about taking care of your furbabies...I think if a lot of us mylotters all lived closer to you we would be more than happy to help out in some way No, knock on wood...I never had to round up the troops so to say to help me out in any situation...I've had wacky situations of my own...the year 2006 was my "winner" year...and went through a lot but on a different level, and with me it was more a legal issue that involved lawyers...so thankfully I got help there through them
2 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
23 Sep 08
It is confusing, isn't it? Try explaining it!! I had to stop and think a few times in how to word it so it would be understood. lol Believe it or not, I've sent out quite a few emails asking for help and they all live in the same town as my parents old place is and not one of them has emailed me back OR called. Not one of them!! I'm about to send a nasty one this time but I think I'll wait and instead send something that says "Hello? Anybody home? I need help!!" ARG!! I hope they have good reasons why they haven't contacted me yet but damm it, if none of these people help us, I'm going to start being real choosy in who I help in their time of need instead of continueing to be the stupid one that helps everybody all the time. I know I should'nt be giving to recieve and really, it's not the point. The point is, everybody is suppose to help others in their time of need IF they can and let them know about it and not let them hang and wonder.
2 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
24 Sep 08
You've got to come back to this discussion and read it... the whole world came down on me and I've washed my hands on my brothers. I'm through and finished. If that house doesn't gets sold, so be it. I've tried all I can do.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (24975)
• Australia
4 Oct 08
No, I've never had to do that and I hope I never have to. Is there a group like Lions or Rotary you could contact and explain things to? They might be able to help you out under the circumstances or at least they could maybe point you in the right direction. Has your nephew moved out? I hope he's not still there. The cat smell may be difficult to eradicate. I once looked at a place that had a smell. There was a stain on the carpet and the owner said it was where the cats had marked but she said the smell was gone...they must have been used to it because it wasn't gone...not by a long shot. Hope everything is okay and that your Mum and Dad are well.
2 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
5 Oct 08
No things aren't good at all, at least not with my brother and I. My nephew wouldn't return his calls and I've called him about 3 times and emailed him and got nothing back and his brother stuck his nose in it not knowing the full story and he started to jump all over me and I hung up on him and he called back and left a nasty hateful message on my answering machine, which I still have and I called him back and told him off in a big way because he's 4 hours away and has no idea what hell I'm going through and hearing what his son has done to the house and the realtor trying to get ahold of his son and all hubby and I wanted to do is help right the situation by driving all the way up there to clean the house (his mess)and paint the whole inside so it would sell quicker but instead, I'm the one in the wrong (what's new?!) and he thought he was going to patronize me and found out WRONG!! You see, he doesn't know me any more than I know him. He moved out of the house when I was still real young and never kept up with me. So he has a relationship all his own with our parents just as I do so he has no idea what I do for them other than what I tell him and he's tried his best to make me look like the bad one and it's NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. Right now I think he's disowned me because I won't bend this time and I won't bend because I'm tired of bending. I know I did nothing wrong but was trying to help but now the whole thing is in his lap for I told him that he's there in the area for him to sell the damm house because I've washed my hands of it.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Sep 08
OMG!! Your story is just heart breaking to say the least, what a mess! I think I'd be hospitalized if I had to deal with what you are going through; I started reading this story the other day, then got detained; But I've been thinking of you, and I hope by now You've kicked them all to the moon and back...nah just leave them there; (G)! I truly truly am sorry; I hope you manage to get a huge bunch of people to help out with this MEGA project; keep us posed;
2 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
23 Sep 08
Before April, mom's stroke, I was on one antidepressant and now I'm on anxiety medicine.... gee! I wonder why?! So far not one person has emailed or called to help so I've been calling all day long and some answered the phones but most have not. Some are able to come one day but not the next and some aren't able to come at all. I just might have to move in to keep the house clean til it gets sold and send hubby home to our fur babies but the only thing is, we only have one car. Damm.... how am I to do this? But I have to!
1 person likes this
@kenzie45230 (3563)
• United States
23 Sep 08
Bless your heart. Like everyone else, if we lived close I'd be willing to help in some way. Sounds like you have plans for getting the house back in order. I'd also be trying to find a way to get the kitties fixed pronto. Does the county have any cheap way to do that? I know where I am, there's one non-profit that will fix dogs and cats for $30 each. That's lots cheaper than taking them to the vets.
2 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
23 Sep 08
Awww thanks!! But I did find someone who's an animal lover herself and her husband is too!! I lucked out big time!! I'm hoping to find someone who'll fix his cats while I'm there so I can keep an eye on them afterwards or take them home with me and send him a bill each month for their care. Have you seen the email I sent out? It's under oreocookies response. I haven't recieved a response from anybody yet!! I'm a little ticked about that!
1 person likes this
@twoey68 (13662)
• United States
23 Sep 08
If I'm understanding this right, they've moved out and now your having to go in and clean it all? If so, then this is probably the best way to do it, just get a group of ppl together and knock it out as quickly as possible. I'd also make sure that everyone learned their lesson and not rent out to this person again. Hopefully the damages won't be too expensive. [b]**AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~[/b]
2 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
23 Sep 08
No he hasn't moved out but his soon to be wife has. They both were paying the rent but when she left, she took her money with her. He should sue her for her part of the rent but he most likely won't just as with the annulment, he'll probably prcrastinate on that too and end up having to pay for a divorce. That's HIS problem, I won't get into that for he created that problem and it's his and his alone, I won't get into it but the house is my parents problem and I WILL get into that! Did you see the copy of the email that I sent out? Do you know I have NOT recieved one response? NOT ONE!!
1 person likes this
• Canada
21 Sep 08
Wow!!! You are in my prayers. I don't know how youi put up with that and still keep yoour sanity. I probably would have strangled someone by now. The nerve of their nephew and his ex. the kid is out of his mind. Memories or not, he should have known whether or not he could take care of the place before he did that.
2 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
21 Sep 08
Can you believe that it only gets worse? Yeah it sure does. My nephew KNEW how she felt BEFORE he married her but married her anyway!! And she went through with it too!! We, meaning, my parents or anyone else, didn't have a clue!! You see, with hers and his income, they would've been able to buy the house but since she left, he can't do it alone. This whole thing really ticks me off!! Mom and dad are going through hell right now and they sure as hell don't need the added stress but my nephew doesn't realize the stress he's putting all of us through!! His father, my brother has been helping him to pay the rent for the past 2 months or my parents would lose the place! I mean DAMM!!!!! That house has got to get sold or we're up the doo doo's creek without a paddle!!
2 people like this
@Polly1 (12650)
• United States
24 Sep 08
You and hubby need a vacation. I read some of your other responses. Them damm brothers of yours should be ashamed of them selves, the nephew too. You are taking on way too much and are going to make yourself sick. We know you are Super Women and Wonder Women rolled into one, but even they need a rest now and then. I wish I had some magic for you. Take care and I so hope things settle down for you.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
24 Sep 08
Did you read about the one that my stupid brother called my parents and got them so upset? I wash my hands of it all. The weekend is so called off!
2 people like this
@Polly1 (12650)
• United States
24 Sep 08
Yes I did, Its too bad some of your mylot friends didn't live closer, we would come and help get that house together.
1 person likes this
@Katlady2 (9925)
• United States
5 Oct 08
Oh wow! It sounds like your nephew has some serious growing up to do for sure. I'm praying for you and your hubby and whatever family and friends that help you out in this. I haven't had to do anything like that in a long time. But if I do, I have several local friends that have assured me that they will be there for me in a heartbeat any time I need them.
1 person likes this