i need help yet again

@jhl930 (3605)
United States
September 22, 2008 2:52pm CST
ok here is the situation me and my girlfriend have fought before and she has told me afterwards that it hurts her when we fight, and i have tried to stop fighting so much and now when something goes wrong i will just ask if we can talk about it calmly and she says yes but when we do...or when i say something or ask something she seems to take it the wrong way and then she just flies off at me and starts to yell and all of this and tells me that i don't understand her and i'm like woa...(like one night she was saying something to me and i thought it was very disrespectful so instead of fighting i walked off and cooled off so we wouldn't fight, then later on she came in and ask what was the matter and i said nothing why...and she was like you just wlaked off and i said i honestly thought it was disrespectful what you said and i wasn't raising my voice or anything and then she starts in on well then maybe i just don't understand her.) so what do i do? thanks for taking the time out of your day to stop by and read and review my discussion and hopefully i will get answers and i hope that you all have had a great day so far and that the rest will be good and have a good night and rest of the week, thanks again for taking the time!
1 person likes this
5 responses
@voltes5 (34)
22 Sep 08
Hello jhl! I agree with SachseMom, her advice and I wish youre problem will be over soon. Take care.
22 Sep 08
Ooops sorry! I mean try SachseMom's advice.
@SachseMom (449)
• United States
22 Sep 08
I don't know what to say to you expect that you might want to try and explain to your girlfriend that you think it would be better in certain situations that you walk away insted of getting into a heated fight and you don't want to hurt her and you don't want things to get out of hand so you think it would be better to walk off and cool down. If you do something or say something bad you can't take them back. I hope you can work things out.
@jhl930 (3605)
• United States
22 Sep 08
yeah thats what i have told her before and she was all apologetic but still i was like why are you flipping out on me, thanks for taking the time to reply to my discussion!
@williamjisir (22903)
• China
24 Sep 08
Hello friend, jhl. I have to say that you are good-tempered as you try to avoid fighting with your girlfriend. Yeah, you know, fighting really hurts mentally and physically. When something unpleasant happens between me and my wife, I do the same so as not to further hurt each other. I consider it a wise way though. Take care, jhl.
@rsa101 (16673)
• Quezon City, Philippines
24 Sep 08
Well I would suggest that the best approach is to allow each other vent out their frustrations and avoid a direct confrontations just allow one to speak their side and then let things calm down then let her understand that since you allowed her to speak freely then its your turn to speak your mind out and if she can also wait for her turn to speak. Sometimes we are tempted to butt in in the middle that is why it irritates the other party who is trying to speak. So if you can hold your piece then I think your conversation won't be stopped at all.
• Philippines
23 Sep 08
You have the right decision, avoiding the fight by walking away is good. Can i ask? Do you really know your girlfriend? her personality? This is only my opinion dude, i think she have a problem in controlling her temper, which is not good, when the fight is over did talk about this? on how she react when you fight? Raising voice is not good, what about lets say, you have children already and she still that way when there is misunderstanding, i think it not good for the child to see it, they might act that way to when they are angry. Anyway, when there is misunderstanding between me and my gf, i let her talk and express what she want to say, i just keep listing and stay quite, and when she's done, its my turn. Good for me, my gf voice is soft, even when she's shouting its not irritating.