developed an eating disorder

@sameroad (3180)
United States
September 22, 2008 9:32pm CST
I think i have developed an eating disorder. I can't talk to my parents or anyone that i know about this. that is why I am writing it here. I know I should probably try and talk to someone about it.. but i just can't. i don't know how and i'm scared and there is SO much crap going on. I do not want to add anymore to it and i don't want to freak anyone out and have them worrying about me. but i made myself throw up after eating a bowl of ice cream the other day. Now i only threw up a VERY little bit because I have good gag reflex's so its hard to throw up (thank god) but the fact that I did that... it's just like "wow" to me. i can't believe i did something like that... now i don't really think thats going to be a problem for me. (making myself throw up) i don't think thats something i'm going to do because its too hard for me to throw up. but the fact that i did "try" and do it... makes me wonder if i won't try again. but what is my problem. is i am working out too much for the amount of food i am eating. i eat good but i work out so much that its not enough and i can't stop myself from working out. and lately though, i haven't even really been eating as much as i used too but i am still working out just as much. the moment i eat something. i feel i have to work out or do something after i'm done so i can burn the calories off.. I feel like i am losing control of everything... the more i eat, the harder and longer i will work out. right now I am probably around 12lbs under my normal weight and i keep losing but i don't know how to make myself stop. its like i know i have a problem but i can't stop it. does anyone else have any problems like this? how do you deal/over come it?
1 person likes this
5 responses
• United States
23 Sep 08
We are all very susceptible to getting problems like this in the world we live in. When I was younger I used to have body image issues, and I would try to throw up but I never could. I would also restrict calories and try to work out, it would be such a stressful and obsessive routine. Now a few years later I have changed a lot, I no longer have these issues, but I know how you feel. The heaviest I weighed was 136 (pounds), and at that time I could only get down to 125, and it would be an up down thing for a while, it was really unhealthy, and by stressing over it I would not become any healthier... Stress actually makes you gain weight because in nature, before big civilization, when we were stressed it meant that we were starving and our body made more reserves for food, so by actually stressing over your weight you make it a lot more difficult to lose it. About two years ago I stopped eating all land animals, limiting myself to seafood because of my blood type (A+) is thicker (not to lose weight) and over these two years I got down to 105, not worrying about weight at all, it was all a big shock to me. Perhaps instead of calorie counting, over-exercising, and all that stuff that can cause high stress, try to do something for yourself that can really benefit your health, such as researching what blood type you are and figuring out what foods your body can use best, and then in time your body will go to its most natural weight that you are supposed to be at and if you maintain that eating habit it will stay. I didn't even intend for it to happen, but by just giving my body what it wants it fixed itself. There are some good sites out there that explains it, but you don't have to be as strict as it says, but it helps limiting some of the things they tell you to avoid. I wish you good luck, just try not to stress it too much.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164450)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Sep 08
sameroad this is too serious to keep f rom your parents so go to them tellthen your problems and get to your family doctor. there are treatment c enters for eating disorders and your doctor'can help. You need help and need to confide in your mom or an aunt or close realtive and get the medical help to help you overcome this eating disorder now. okay?
@sameroad (3180)
• United States
23 Sep 08
i can't tell them. i don't know how and i don't want them to freak.
@steve9737 (918)
• Colombia
24 Sep 08
it is a serious problem because your health would be affect soon, even you would die if you stopped eating enough at day, or you wold fall comatose, maybe you would check out the risk of doing it, sometimes a bigger fear can stop you from doing things that are not right, working out would not be a problem at all, just make sure to eat enough, I have not had that problem yet, actually I want to earn some weight. I would like to know how help you but I don't know much about it, I hope you can figure out how to solve it.
@bunnybon7 (37906)
• Holiday, Florida
24 Sep 08
3 years ago i weighed 153 lbs! (im 5'3")i thought i was so gross. but i felt good. i got H-Pylori. couldnt eat, didnt even care for it,ran to the bathroom from one end or the other when i did force myself to eat. it took me a year and a halph to get over it. i weighed 112lbs! in 3 months into it. my skin hung and looked wrinkled. i really looked bad. today i went to dr. and im now back to 143. Im looking better every day. my daughter said she used to make herself vomit also in high school. she got for a while that she could not keep food down if she wanted to! she got help from the dr. you should talk to a dr. about it. they are not allowed to tell anyone.
@dragon54u (31635)
• United States
23 Sep 08
From what I've read, control is the issue here. You can't control your life as you'd like so you're controlling your eating. Do you think you're fat when you look in the mirror? Then you have an eating disorder. Don't vomit anymore and if you can't help but do it, get yourself to a professional therapist. Please don't fall victim to this disease!