Second chances ...

United States
September 23, 2008 7:11am CST
You know, it is so easy for us to ask for second chances, yet so difficult to grant them. Most of us are taught from a small age not to judge. So if we do not forgive, are we judging? And what kind of damage will happen from not granting forgiveness? Well, I have been on both sides of this issue. I was in a situation not too long ago that I needed to forgive someone for hurting me, and I thought about it but then I granted that person forvieness and I tell you what, it felt amazing. But then in my life, there are so few times that I have actually been forgiven. I haven't always been the best person in my life and I hurt many people and destroyed many relationships, but from then to now I am a new person. I have been for some time and people can see that if they look. But that is the problem, no one wants to look past all the mistakes to forgive and see the new person I became 3 years ago. The toll this has taken on me is endless. So I encourage everyone to forgive, not only are you lifting a burden off your shoulders but you are freeing someone else to be the person they should be.
6 responses
• Philippines
30 Sep 08
its easy to say we had forgiven those who had wronged us but the real question is dd we really? forgiving mean letting go of the grudge..but some people give forgiveness but never learn how to let go...they hold on still on the grudge reason why it always comes up with a fight...meaning its not pure...i say if we forgive me must forget and let live with what had happened in order for us to move on from it...forgiving someone is the accomplishment one person can achieve...your right, it can give you a lift out of burden as it always feels great than ever when you know you don't have a grudge with someone..
@eiram25 (1077)
• Philippines
25 Sep 08
hello there! welcome to mylot! well, about the judging thing,i don't think that someone is judging just because he/she can't forgive. i think contemplating about granting someone your forgiveness needs time. And when you grant one,it must be sincere and from the heart.Lastly,one must also move on after forgiving someone. Forgiveness might be hard but still it's doable. keep posting! happy mylotting!
• United States
25 Sep 08
Sometimes forgiveness is not for second chances it can simply be to lift the burden on your soul. You however, can not make a person forgive, it has to come from within them. I know this can be painful, there are things that have happened in my own life so I can sympathize. If you truly believe in your heart and soul that you have changed and you are a diffrent person, free yourself! Dont let someones lack of forgiveness hold you back from being the person you should be and are! Let them be the people that walk around with that burden on their heart and pray for their eyes and heart to be opened. Most of all, forgive them for not being strong enough to let go of the past and forgive. They are missing out on the great person you are today. You hold your head up and know that you are striving everyday to be the best you can be in your new life.
@ersmommy1 (12600)
• United States
24 Sep 08
Giving a second chance is a matter of choice. You can choose to, or not to give the person another chance. Depends on what they did. And also how you feel about it. As the saying goes fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me.
@angelia286 (2029)
• Singapore
24 Sep 08
Not forgiving does not neccessarily means that we are judging. It all depends on the severity of the matter and whether or not the person is worth forgiving. Some things that others do, even though we want to forgive, sometimes we just have to ask ourselves is it worth it or not, and whether or not the person will really change for the better or not. Like the saying goes, "A leopard does not change its spot". And that is something that I believe in. A person who wants to change will change, but a person who promise the world just to get you to forgive will not change that much, and even if he/she changes, he/she will go back to his/her old ways when he/she thought that you are not watching. ::Shrugs:: It's all part and parcel of life. Damages that might happen coming from not granting forgiveness. Lol, again it boils down to the circumstances and whether or not the person is sincerely worth the forgiveness or not. I am sorry to hear that people are judging you from the mistakes that you had committed 3 years ago. If you are sincerely changing for the better and had actually proven yesterday to be worth of that forgiveness, then they would have no rights to judge you. Afterall we are just humans, and it is human nature to be making mistakes. i too, had made many mistakes in my life, and each time been forgiven for them (because it's all minor mistakes that causes no harm to others). I hope that things are looking for up for you, and people are looking beyond the mistakes that you had committed in life. i know the feeling of being judged and it sucks, and hurts like nobody business that no one in that shoes would ever understand. Yes, with forgiveness comes freedom from yourself, and it is a virtue in humans that is much harder to do than hate. It takes a really strong person (mentally) to be able to forgive others. but, then always remember this, forgiving is easier than forgetting. So if others were to forgive us for our mistakes, we will have to ensure that the mistakes will not be made again.. If not, others will not be so forgiving the next time round. (Get what I mean?) "Love comes from forgiving"
@ralphido (843)
• India
24 Sep 08
you know it is a matter of pure willpower just to forgive someone who mistreated you in some way, let alone hurt you and left you broken for the rest of your life.. not all person may be capable of it.. i for one am not an easy person to forget and forgiv... i have never completely forgiven anyone i had a grude against. but i do pray to god sometimes to give me the strength to forgive and forget their mistakes ... some things are painful even to remember....