Would you consider getting married again?

@apples99 (6564)
United States
September 23, 2008 3:28pm CST
As most of you might know I'm not married yet, but if I were to ever get married I think I would only get married once, and I would just pray it last forever, but if by chance it dosent last, I dont think I would ever consider getting married a second time, because even though Iv never been married before I have spent some time with married couples before, and I have learned that marriage is not all roses and sunshine, and it takes a lot of work as well as love and trust to make a marriage work, and Iv seen first hand how difficult some marriages are and I would only consider getting married once in my life, dont get me wrong I will always believe in love and companionship and monogamy no matter what were to happens in my life, but remarrying is just not for me, and if my first marriage doesn't last as I hope it will, then I will not marry again, and my question is to those who have been devorced but of course everyones is more then wellcome to respond and I respect everyone who has chosen to give marriage a second try I just want to know if you are someone who would remarry if or after you are devoriced?
6 people like this
21 responses
• Sri Lanka
24 Sep 08
I respect and admire your determination! Even though you are not married you seems to have understood the reality of getting married. I am sure you would not want even to re-consider about re-marrying and I believe you will get married once forever. I wish you for that. I am with you and I am already married and never thinking of divorcing or remarrying. I have got a wondeful wife and I love her so much. With our daughter I wish, and I will live with her forever! Thanks for the great posting!
1 person likes this
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
24 Sep 08
Thanks for understanding my point of view, and I wish only good things for you and your family and thank-you for responding.
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
24 Sep 08
Awww thanks and I wish you a long and happy marriage and a healthy happy child, thank-you for your responds.
• Sri Lanka
25 Sep 08
Thanks for the nice words! I wish you the same for your future!
@rsa101 (14878)
• Quezon City, Philippines
25 Sep 08
Well it's true that marriage is not like those in fairytale stories that end as "they lived happily ever after" endings. Majority of those who are married knows that and you should be aware of that too. But that should not be the reason behind why you should be afraid to be married. For me Marriage is a chapter that every single person should experience once or twice in their lifetime. Think of it as a chance for you to form your own family and be happy with it. Failing in one may be painful but it should not stop there if in any case there is another who comes along your way. give chance for yourself if you think you will be happy with it then go for it. Anyway it is for your own good but if you think otherwise then stay with your statement.
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
25 Sep 08
Fear is not the reason why I chose not to remarry, the reason why I feel that I wouldn't marry again is, that theres a lot of things you go through during a marriage and not all of them are good things as most of us know, and getting a divorce is even more difficult especially if theres kids and money involved and I just wouldn't want to put myself or any potential children I might have through the emotional roller coaster of a second marriage, I feel that marriage, should last forever, and if for some reason it dosent. I wouldn't want to go through it again and and again, when and if I get married I want it to mean something and to be special and no matter if it dosent last and, I find love agan that person would just have to exept that Im not intrested in getting remarried, thanks for responding.
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (14878)
• Quezon City, Philippines
26 Sep 08
If that suits your need but then I can sense fear in your answer above, or maybe let just say its doubts about the future if you remarry but in the end when your in doubt your usually in fear of something. Doubts is caused by fear and fear is the one that stops you from going into something you do not know.
• India
24 Sep 08
No Never Idont have much more guts to die again n again
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
25 Sep 08
LOL I totally understand, thanks for responding.
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
24 Sep 08
I was married for almost 22 years before my divorce became final. And no, I won't ever marry again. I am in a relationship that has lasted 8 years now, but I have no wish to make it legal. You see divorce is hard enough, but some take months even years to get thru. I know mine took almost two years, several court battles that ended in a 3 day court session, and cost me over $26,000.00 in attorney fees. With that type of an experience why would I ever want to risk repeating it? LOL My son is currently going thru a divorce that has lasted 6 months already and they are fighting over money, the house and the kids. Even at the age of 27 he agrees with me. He says he doesn't want to marry again either. Apparently my ex husband feels the same way too. He has been in his relationship for ten years now yet refuses to marry her!
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
25 Sep 08
Hi, there. and thank-you for sharing your experience, and what you spoke of is one of the reasons why I wouldn't want to remarry a second time because marriage and divorce is very serous and should not be taken lightly and done over and over again I haven seen many couples that have had similar experiences as you so I totally understand your reasons why you dont want to remarry.
@RamJey (89)
• Singapore
24 Sep 08
I'm married with 2 kids. I have a lot of quarrels with my wife. My wife is basically a domineering person. I do give in sometimes. And sometimes i'm assertive to make my point. The quarrels leave us not talking to each other for a day or two. After that we will be ok and then the quarrel starts again. We quarrel for terribly insignificant things and also for important stuff affecting us. But at the end of the day, we are together. Every quarrel leaves me with some knowledge about my wife's character, her perspectives of issues and stuff like that. And sometimes after a quarrel, i will wonder if i had married the right person. My mind would then start wondering on the "what if's" thing like what if i had married A or what if i had married B, and would my life had been better? I guess i will never know. But one thing i know is that, who ever we marry, there will always be challenges in a marriage. It all depends on how we handle the issues at hand and the situations that develop. And also how much we are willing to give in. Sometimes giving in to an argument or a situation helps to mellow your partner and makes it possible for him or her to see your perspective of things. For folks who have found that their second marriage has turned out much better and that the partner they have found is the best, i believe that it's their first marriage that has subconciously taught them what to expect in a marriage and the reality of living with another person. As for the question if i would get married again, the answer is an obvious no. No matter how many quarrels we have, deep down we love each other so much. If she is not around anymore, I will live to my last breath with her memories. That is my way of showing respect and love for her.
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
24 Sep 08
I understand thanks for responding.
• United States
24 Sep 08
Well i guess it depends. Alot of times people must have a companion in their lives, and i think if they really need to get married, then they absolutely should get married. For an example, a newly married young couple and one of them perishes, they cant stay alone and unmarried for the remainder of their lives. I think if a person needs to he definitely should get married again. If the couple is maybe older and have been through alot then maybe they shouldnt remarry and keep their compainionship together. In a matter of fact, they probably wont even want to get married. It always depends on the person. IT will never be unethical for a person to remarry again if they feel they need to. So if someone feels the need to remarry go ahead and remarry.
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
25 Sep 08
I understand what you mean, but you can still have love and companionship and not be married unless your a person who feels uncomfortable with having someone in your life, without being married, I do think that a good marriage is one of life's true blessings but if I were ever to get married I would only be open to it once as I said and if my first marriage didn't work or something happened I feel certain that I wouldn't want to go through it again but I definitely would still want companionship, but, I understand that everyone's different and they have to make choice's to fit there life, and do whats most comfortable for them thanks for responding.
@underdogtoo (9599)
• Philippines
24 Sep 08
One marriage is enough for me. I have no desire to have many marriages. Cheers!!
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
25 Sep 08
I totally understand high five and Cheers! lol.
24 Sep 08
I would have preferred only to be married once, because I think that marriage should be for life. However, my first marriage did not work out and I remarried. I certainly never want to marry again and I'm prepared to work really hard to make sure my marriage lasts.
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
25 Sep 08
I think its good that you are willing to give marriage another try everyones different and they have to make choice's that are best for there lives, and I hope your second marriage is filled with blessings eternal happiness.
@snebxu66 (379)
• China
24 Sep 08
There was one short message passed on through the cell phones in China 2 years ago, Marriage is misplay, divorce means "come to oneself" and remarriage means bigoted. Sorry, I can't express the rhyme in English as the Chinese does. I am remarried and feel this message is some reasonable in a way.We must be careful to the first marriage because divorce costs a lot. Of course I would not consider getting married if divorced again.
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
25 Sep 08
I understand and agree, thank-you for your responds.
@zhoulei (13)
• China
24 Sep 08
I can't image making love with anthor girl except my wife.
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
24 Sep 08
Aww well I understand that, lol.
@weiwei88 (119)
• Singapore
24 Sep 08
Probably people like me like fairytales with happy endings. Therefore, all we would think is that we will be forever happily married. But somehow, meeting the right guy is another thing. Guys could be so nice to you before marriage and after married they might be monsters! I am not saying that all guys do. But you will never know a person's true colours. i've also never been married before but deep down inside a girl's heart they want someone nice, loving and looks after you regardless of what. Marriage life is not easy also, there are so many things to take care of! You have to accommodate the person, be tolerant as nobody is perfect on thing world. There are also situations whereby fights always occurs, i guess there really must be one of you to be accommodating or probably the love is not there. Therefore, talking about getting married again depends on oneself, if you really love that person maybe you will start thinking of getting married. Giving yourself a 2nd chance might also be good as you live life onece
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
24 Sep 08
I understand what your saying but as you said it depends on the person, and I would always be open to love regardless of what happens in my life and even after a divorce or separation I still would be open to love and companionship, but I'm fairly certain that I will never remarry if my first marriage dosent last, because I know that life is not a fairytale and you dont always get what you expect in life, and I know that I wouldn't want to put myself through the emotional rollercoaster of marriage a second time, but. think-you for responding.
@app3ls (63)
• Malaysia
24 Sep 08
Although I'm not married yet, but if i'm married & the marriage doesn't last, i wont go for second try. So, i hope my marriage is a long lasting, forever one. :p
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
24 Sep 08
I agree and I hope the same if I get married, thanks for responding.
@tushark1 (117)
• India
24 Sep 08
It might be confusing for other people's but i have fixed in my mind that i will marry once....but if a situation comes that you have a baby then i will think about my baby and will take the decision. But marrige is not a game that once over then play with somebody else. It brings two souls together to live forever with happiness. If you are devoriced then it depends on your thinking about getting married again.
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
24 Sep 08
I agree that marriage is one of the most important decisions that person will ever make in life and to me marriage should only happen once in life and should be forever but we can never predict how long a marriage will last but I can only hope and pray that if I find someone that I love and if I chose to marry them that god will bless me with a long and happy marriage, but if it dosent last, I know I wouldn't marry again, I definitely believe the its important for children to have to parent's but if I'm no longer with my significant other and if have kids I would still hope that there father would remain apart of there lives, thanks for responding.
@shell94 (990)
• Canada
23 Sep 08
I have been married almost 11 years. We have been going through a lot of tough times and things seem to keep going downhill. I would never do it again. Things do change after you marry no matter what anyone says. I love my husband deeply, but at this time i am doubting his love and committment level to me. I will never go through this type of thing EVER again...therefore NEVER marry again either.
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
23 Sep 08
Awww I'm so sorry to read that you and your hubby are having problem's I truly hope that you will work them out, but I do understand why you feel like you do about remarrying I have known a few people in my life who feel the same about remarrying, but I'm hoping things between you and hubby get better so you will never have decide on remarriage, anyway thank-you for responding.
@Sheepie (3118)
• United States
23 Sep 08
I'm not sure. I am certain that I would be least likely to remarry if I was a widow, because it might be really hard for me to find a guy who is great as the last- I don't even know who I would marry in the first place, but I wouldn't settle for just anyone. I don't think I would get a divorce! I can't imagine marrying a man that would not stay with me! But I guess if we divorced, I would end up being lonely and bitter, but I guess I might try again. I don't know how it's going to go!
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
23 Sep 08
Ok Thank-you for responding.
• United States
23 Sep 08
I am divorced. I was separated for almost 8 years when my divorce finally went through. I thought I would never consider marriage again, but I've changed my mind. My boyfriend is the best man I've ever met and someday we will get married.
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
23 Sep 08
Well thats really nice that you still feel comfortable with getting married again after going through a separation and divorce I hope that you will have many wonderful years with your new man and thanks for responding.
@bcote212 (1113)
• United States
23 Sep 08
I dont know if i would consider opening myself up to another person as much the second time around. I was in a relationship for 6 years that was pretty good all the way till it ended. I dont know if I would allow myself to become that close with someone else because of the hurt that I had to go through at the end of my last one. At the same time, if someone came around that completly swept me off my feet you never know what will happen.
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
23 Sep 08
Hi there I understand what you mean, but I know my self pretty well, and to spite the fact that Iv never been married, I know for (sure) that if my first marriage didn't work I would definitely not remarry, but I will always be open to finding love and I diffenitly believe in being in a monogamous relationship but marrying a second time is not for me, but I'm open to trying it once and hopefully it will last forever, thank-you for responding.
@palonghorn (5486)
• United States
23 Sep 08
I gave marriage a second try, and a third try. Been divorced, this time, for 4 years now. Although I am living with a wonderful man, I don't think we'll ever do the marriage thing again. He has been through 3 divorces as well. We've been living together for 3 1/2 years now, and we never speak of getting married, which is fine by me.
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
23 Sep 08
Well I think its nice that you were still able to find happiness again in your current relationship and I hope you have many happy years together, also I understand why you chose not to remarry, and anyway thanks for responding and have a grate day.
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
23 Sep 08
No, I would not.. This marriage is enough for me..
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
23 Sep 08
I understand lol thanks for responding.
@Humbug25 (12551)
25 Sep 08
Hello apples99 Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, never again!!!! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo