'Men date younger women because they're afraid of getting old'

@marina321 (4561)
September 23, 2008 7:06pm CST
The above statement was from a Couples' Counsellor and was in a newspaper article about age gaps in relationships that I was reading today. The article was about the various difficulties that may arise in relationships with age gaps due to people being at different stages in their lives.. Without delving too much in what the issues were, I found that the two statements that stood out in the article were: 'Men date younger women because they're afraid of getting old and want someone to make them feel young' 'If a woman is going out with an older man, it could be something to do with wanting a father figure' What do you think of the two statements? Are they true? Do you agree with any of them? To what extent or context would you consider them to be true?
14 people like this
39 responses
@lilaclady (28270)
• Australia
24 Sep 08
No I don't really agree with those statements, I just think that a lot of people for one get more of a kick out of something new and the chase and the thought that someone is attracted to them, ...secondly, as time goes by people change and to a man young bodies seem to do a lot more for some men than older ones plus younger people girls have less limitations to what happens in the bedroom, a lot of women lose interest after having kids and such...i just think it is that men like variation in bedroom activities..just my opinion...
@marina321 (4561)
24 Sep 08
Hmmm, I guess that's one other reason! I thought the older more experienced woman would be less inhibited though and more comfortable in her own skin...
1 person likes this
@lilaclady (28270)
• Australia
24 Sep 08
I think younger women experiment more and are willing to to do a lot of things some older women would think were no no's...
@yadav8797 (1211)
• India
26 Sep 08
hi lila, i am always like your responses very much.they ar of good quality.friend,that i will agree with you that mans ar looking for experimenting then they will try younger one,becuase women always have experience so they are difiicult to handle as compared than to younger.the olders are demanding too,they looking fo something always.this may be the reason they will choose young and fresh woman or girl to use. happy mylotting
@ladygator (3469)
• United States
24 Sep 08
First question I have for you is this, what is the age gap range? I am married to a man 10 years older than me. We have been together a total of 8 years, 5 of them are married years. When you see us together we dont "look" like there is an age gap. We dont feel like there is an age gap either. I actually feel safe with him and happy that I am with someone that I see has wisdom and I really appreciate him. He really appreciates me and encourages me to do all I can do within myself. I have a close relationship with my dad, so I am not looking for a father figure. I dont think that he is afraid of getting old yet. He is very active and healthy so I am thinking that at least for us neither is the case. Now some situations might be this way, it does make sense. I wonder what Hugh Heffner would say about why he dates younger women.
@cecelgay (563)
• Philippines
24 Sep 08
Hi ladygator, i should congratulate you having a mature and responsible husband, you're lucky coz you're husband is a brainy man who can handle and understand your need.. Wish you all the best and God Bless
@marina321 (4561)
26 Sep 08
Interesting ladygator what is the age gap range? The article did not specify the age gap but the celeb couples they gave examples of had 10 years+ between them.. I wonder what Hugh Heffner would say about why he dates younger women. Hmmm, good one!
@milindp (123)
• India
24 Sep 08
well i dont know about other country's but in india where i stay... boys enjoy dating and rest of the thing but as in india more than 70 % people are from middle class,,, so they cant afford much to full fill their dreams date's or whatever you all say..... so in india after a person acheive his set standard to enjoy his life like people of other rich country do... it takes much of man's year..... so i per my post say's its might be one of the reason as per the topic raised above.... thank you
1 person likes this
@marina321 (4561)
26 Sep 08
Very confused about the point in your comment.. Did I miss it somewhere?
• United States
24 Sep 08
I think that men date younger women because younger women tend to be more attractive----call me crazy.
1 person likes this
@marina321 (4561)
24 Sep 08
Crazy! There...did just that! NuclearRabbit, I think there's a lot of attractive older women; what would you say then for younger men dating older women? I think they find older women attractive.. or do they want a mother figure perhaps?! The article did not divulge much further than the above and would've been great to look at it from other angles too.. men who date older women and women who date younger men, would be great to hear the theories on those scenarios too
• Australia
24 Sep 08
As one who has had medium to long-term girlfriends ranging from one year older to 36 years younger than I, I will say that for me, if I see a girl much younger it is partly the fact that young girls are much more attractive than MOST older women, there is an innocence in them that is far more attractive than an older woman's cynicism (and no, not all older women are cynical), and partly that I do have something of a daddy nature. That said, I don't seek out younger women, I just don't dismiss them when they come my way. And I don't believe it has anything to do with making me feel younger. Currently (going on 5 years), and hopefully for the rest of my life, I am with a woman 12 years younger than me whose particular life experience means she has a great degree of that innocence I so treasure. As for the daddy figure stuff, it may well be true, but that's fine with me. Lash
1 person likes this
@jstmarfz (1499)
• United States
24 Sep 08
I don't agree. Old men date younger women it is because it says "men life's starts at 40" hehe. I think they're more fascinated of young women it is because young women show more charisma, aggressive, show more sweetness and too much care for old men. And young women wants older men it is because they feel very secured in the sense of love because most old men really show commitment with relationship, they know how treat them very well either physical or emotional. Nowadays, I could really say old men and young women are great couple it is because they can both relate and sensitive of what each other wants and needs. And it is not because of that statement.
@cecelgay (563)
• Philippines
24 Sep 08
Hi! sorry to say but i should disagree with you egarding that matter,my partner is older than me about 9 years, but we hardly understand each other, before i used to think the same way you think but my experience told me that i was wrong, Getting older man than your is not an assurance that they really show commitment with a relationship or in my part they handle more the relationship, maybe there are some who's already matured about relationship but there are also some who are not. In my field of work i have known different kind of man, and i noticed that most of them are bachelor, as i ask them why at thier age (30's) they are not yet married, they simply say, they still want to enjoy being bachelor and still they dont want any commitment. I should disagree also with you that when men say's life starts at 40's it means they will start to enjoy their life by hanging out with younger woman and some other things that they didn't do when they are at their younger age, It's not, my father give me his point of view and i have known also who think opposite they way almost interpret that saying, In mature man, when they say that it means they already tasted the real life here on earth and already learn from the lessons, they start to think the real world that we live in, that life isn't easy as we think. They are the one who fucos more on the welfare on their family. As my father says to me those men who think that being 40 is an age to begin enjoyment is a man who's still immature and irresponsible . Hope i did not get you offended, im just sharing another view
@jstmarfz (1499)
• United States
24 Sep 08
Oh that is okay. And thank you for your point of view. In my reply, I did not generalize all. If you are 9 years younger than you husband then I am 20 years younger than mine. Before we got married, we waited 3 years and within that year we are ocean apart. He is here (USA) and I am in Philippines. To think, he could do things he wanted to because I am not on his side and same with mine. Maybe if you trust, respect and loyal to each other you know your limitations to remain with your relationships. And maybe it depends of the maturity of every old men when it comes to relationship with younger women. So far, with my husband I can really say that we are aware of each other wants and needs. His not the kind of guy who loves to flirt or stare to other woman. He said, he have done mistakes before and he doesn't want to do it again but rather than to try his best to do right things but we all know we are just person who makes mistakes and I agree to that. I thought our age gap would be difficult for us to manage our marriage life, but it is just getting better and better. Marrying him, makes me act more mature of things happening in my surroundings and of course of making decisions too...hehe.
• Malaysia
24 Sep 08
Congratulation that you find the perfect match for the life ! It is hard and is impossible for most people where they still searching for that. =) The appearance can always be improve regardless with younger or older person. Thus it is more for inner feel on accepting on the situation. Normally other factor is the one driving for the situation.
@walijo2008 (4649)
• United States
24 Sep 08
I guess some men date younger women because they're afraid of getting old or feeling old, but I would wonder if he would be able to keep up with a younger woman..lol. As for the woman going out with an older man, I would think she probably wants to be with someone more mature, and someone that's more financially stable and has all his ducks in a row so to speak. I think the first statement is true, I don't think the second statement is true. My husband is 8 yrs. older than me, and I didn't think anything of it when we were dating, it didn't matter to me how old he was, I wasn't looking for a father figure, I was just looking for someone to hang out with, I was tired of being alone. I think he was alot more mature than most guys my age were then.
• Australia
24 Sep 08
Keeping up can be an issue, which why the wiser of us older men only get involved with younger women who show maturity beyond their years, are intelligent, and who seem to have realistic expectations. But a party girl, well, no, I don't think so. The ones who go for the party girls probably are the ones who are trying to pretend to be younger than they are. Lash
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (14059)
• Canada
24 Sep 08
the last one I consider it to be true in my case I was close to my dad and so I always wanted an older mature man to marry my husband fits this criteria and I fell for him in no time I don't know about the first statement hahah my husband said he can't be afraid of getting old he is already older than I hahah anyway good discussion :)
@marina321 (4561)
26 Sep 08
Interesting input LittleMel Cheers for your honest response
@foxyfire33 (10017)
• United States
24 Sep 08
I just read this to my 14 years older s/o. He looked at me funny. He said "sure, we'll go with that" and then rolled his eyes. I'm thinking that means he has other reasons for dating younger women. I'm sure they are both true in some cases. But in others they are not even close to reality. I know I was not looking for a father figure, I just wanted a loving companion. He was hardly "old" when we started dating, although a 36 year old with a 22 year old might make him seem a bit like a dirty old man lol. It could have been worse...a guy well into his 50's hit on me before. I think that guy's reasons did have to do with his age.
@marina321 (4561)
26 Sep 08
Interesting comment! Yeah, I think the study generalised quite a bit as they generally do Cheers for the response
@maxilimian (3099)
• Indonesia
24 Sep 08
I think it's not true, a little bit true ... i think woman accept older man because they are mature enough to take care of her, and the reason why man choosing woman because is ... they're still young (the woman) when the man is already old lol ... but i think most of all, it's not the matter of age, it's all the matter of love
@marina321 (4561)
26 Sep 08
Yeah, age doesn't really matter when it's about love.. Think the study holds some substance though it does generalise to some extent
@Anchopy (1453)
• Paraguay
24 Sep 08
I think that the first statement is very true.. Older guys like to date younger girls to feel that they still are young, these days the younger girls are more and more concient of their good shape and body and they also look for older guys to probe others girls that they had mature..
@marina321 (4561)
26 Sep 08
Hmmm, I doubt that second point very much..surely there's other reasons more than that Anchopy
• Philippines
24 Sep 08
Good day... I guess any excuse would do as long as you can justify the taste for a date lol. For me it doesn't matter anyway it's still just a date, a getting to know each other phase and still a long way. If is about marriage then I think each one should think and access their feelings deeply before getting involved.
@marina321 (4561)
26 Sep 08
Good Point..
@jm0911 (53)
• Philippines
24 Sep 08
it is obious that men dating women younger than them because of formality. it is akward having date with women older than you..!? Sugar mommy they will say hahaha .
@marina321 (4561)
26 Sep 08
What about those the same age as them?
@cecelgay (563)
• Philippines
24 Sep 08
I believe on that statement, I have a friend, though he's not that old but he's on his middle 30's, he said that he want to date younger woman at his age for him to feel young, he said that when his partner is young he feel young and looks young, he dont want to think that he's already at his 30's ,Also I to myself believe about woman who dated more mature man, I am one of them, i already dated and have a boyfriend at same age, but i came to the point that i wanted to date older men at my age but not that old, that statement is right,i am the youngest among siblings and when i started to work and live alone i long for a father and brother figure, I wanted to hang out with man who's older than me but it has a negative side, I got a partner who's older than me about 9 years gap, maybe it's because of age gap we always fight and we seldom understand each other, i cant understand his doings and he also in me.
@marina321 (4561)
26 Sep 08
It does apply in some context but not all.. Thanks for sharing
@Samanthavv (1395)
• United States
24 Sep 08
As long as I'm not the one doing it, then it really dosen't bother me. If someone is happy living that way, then let them. After all, it's their life. Not yours :P
@marina321 (4561)
26 Sep 08
Did you read the title or the whole discussionMaddie's mommy.. cute baby It is an article that I read, not my opinion...though it does hold some truth in it
@magojordan (3256)
• Philippines
24 Sep 08
Hmm nice thought there. I remember my friend saying that he wants to marry someone who's way younger than him so that even though he gets old his wife isn't that old and therefore still beautiful and I really didn't agree totally on what he said. Anyway maybe it is true for some about on that study but of ocurse there are still exceptions on that matter.
@marina321 (4561)
26 Sep 08
Yes, there's always exceptions to the matter as studies and 'research' tend to generalise based on the small sample of people they took.
• India
7 Oct 08
well man doesnt want to get out with a mature looking female thats why they wanna date a younger girl of their choice...as dating with a younger female will create a younger outlook on man's face
• United States
5 Oct 08
Both statements are true for some couples. But there are many reasons to date a person. I hope the main reason is the way you feel when you are with them. The older man May feel really wanted. He has a women in his life that Really likes him. And the younger women Feels protected and is being treated like the lady she is. I am only guessing but I hope that is the case.
@kun2349 (23475)
• Singapore
27 Sep 08
I find that, Men dating younger women because they are afraid of getting old, is half true only.. BEcause young women are normally much more prettier and they know how to dress up, with all the good figures etc, and thus men are attracted to those pretty young gals.. As for, Woman going out with older man is like wanting a father figure, i find it's completely untrue.. BEcause man tends to be more matured and much more calm when it comes to situation, and because of their 'elderly age' they have more experience in handling things as compared to hot blooded adults.. haha
@Bobbysox (224)
27 Sep 08
Men are pretty vain about those kind of things,but if you take many men,they have married a comfortable looking woman rather than a beauty queen lol and thats because they are comfortable with them,they dont generally pose any threat to them,they arent going to upstage themor chase after the younger guys lol,im sure we are all a little fickle in some ways.