what you do to get rid of your wife complain's

India
September 25, 2008 6:30am CST
Now our marriage is almost 7months only but im tired of my wife complain's.I am a office goer,busy with my work only.Thinking i will take rest at home,i used to come back everyday from office tired in the evening from wholeday hectic work.As soon as i reached home my wife started asking questions not even allowing me to have a cup of tea.Her stupid questions started like why don't you come back early for shopping,why you didn't pick up my call at office,where you will take me on weekends...............nonstop.This make me very irritate.What to do???
1 person likes this
12 responses
@aingls (6)
• United States
25 Sep 08
I agree with the pp. You need to express your feelings in a non-offensive way. When you talk to her, say "When you ask all of these questions, I feel _______." Just let her know. On the other hand, you need to look at your home life, after you get home from work, as a second job. I'm assuming your wife is a stay at home mom? If so, you need to realize that motherhood is her job. It's like having 2 full time jobs and a part time job at the same time. She doesn't get a break from the child and when you get home it's like "oh yeah, I'm finally going to get some adult conversation." You need to be sensitive to your wife, and treat her how you would want to be treated. Tell her that you will take over, and she can go out and do something for herself. I promise that she will be so greatful, and in turn, maybe she'll back off of the nagging...
1 person likes this
• India
26 Sep 08
Great....Thanks
@sharra1 (6342)
• Australia
26 Sep 08
Well you need to talk to your wife about need space for yourself and about how tired you are when you come home. My partner has times when he does needs peace and quiet and I make a point of not talking to him at these times but if he had not told me I would not know and might talk and irritate him. Communication is vital. Does your wife have a job? You a say you have been married for 7 months, what did she do before you got married? Did she work? Does she still have a job? She is probably bored all day and needs someone to talk to. If you do not want her to work then she is going to need some way to pass the time and to find some interests for her to keep her busy. If you do not sort this problem out you could well cause a strain in your relationship.
• India
26 Sep 08
Thanks.
@makingpots (11922)
• United States
25 Sep 08
Tell her that you really need some down time when you get home from work. That is a reasonable request. Tell her you would enjoy your time together much better if you had some time to unwind first. 7 months is still very early in a marriage. You two are still learning the marriage dance and these little details just need to be worked out. Best of luck with this.
• India
26 Sep 08
Thank you.
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
25 Sep 08
i know this makes you upset but try to understand she haven,t been with you all day and she misses you, and maybe she has to go to store and it,s late now and can,t go see marriage is a lot of responsiblity as you well know but try talking to her, and tell her how you feel after a long day at work and see what you and her, can work out tell her, when you get home you,re tired and need to rest a bit when you get home, and see will she be more sympathy for what you are going throughafter a hard day at work.
• India
26 Sep 08
Thanks.
• China
26 Sep 08
why she got so much time and energy to complain u i think the best way to resolve this make her do something like working. each of u got own things to do ..she won't got more energy on u
• India
26 Sep 08
You are kind of newly married couple. When you enter in to a new relationship you expect a lot from each other without understanding about how that particular relationship will work for both of you. I think you express yourself more to her about your hectic work schedules. Tell her that you need to relax for a while after you come back from office. Also suggest her that she can take up some job to utilize her free time.
@Lindalinda (4112)
• Canada
26 Sep 08
Why is your wife sitting at home being bored and frustrated? Why is she not at work or in school? I realize that in India it might be difficult to get a job but failing that she could further her education or doing some volunteer work. Surely there are hospitals, libraries, day care centres, old age homes that ould use extra help. If your wife left home every day to attend one of the above mentioned activities she would look forward to her day and come home tired and longing for a cup of tea just as you are. Then you could prepare dinner together and talk about your respective day, plan your shopping trips and activities for the weekend. Try this approach and you will see your communication and your marriage much improved.
@underdogtoo (9599)
• Philippines
25 Sep 08
I think you are in for many years of this. People don't change and she will surely be like this for as long as you let her. You should talk and get some new inputs that she can incorporate into her world view instead of just her own thoughts.
• United States
25 Sep 08
Why don't you stand up and tell your situation and how you feel about it..........You should share your responsibity with your wife...like divide some work she should pick childeren...you should get some rest and go to work..tell her wat you think.........
• Philippines
25 Sep 08
To start,each one of us were given a chance to choose our devotion in life either to stay single or married. In your case you chose to get married and now you encounter this problem with your wife. I assume you are the one who wanted to marry her and not just because you were force to.You marry her because you love her and now you should think hard which is your priority in life,if it's your family or your work? You should know better how to divide your time between work and family because that's the problem of the world today,so many broken families because of that one reason that you are encountering now also. If you didnt want to divulge your time with yor family as much as they needed you then you should know better ahead when you were still single and you could just have explained that to your wife before that you cannot have enough time for her after your wedding so that she will not complain every now and then. The best thing is to try telling her and make her understand the situation. Work is necessary to compensate family problems and to provide family needs but it should not be the priority . Working hard is rewardable but loosing a family feels no life at all.
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
25 Sep 08
You can get rid of them easily with two simple steps. First, listen to her. They don't sound like complaints but honest concerns about your new marriage. Seven months in you two should still be hapy and wanting to spend every waking moment with each other. Your attitude towards her seems to have soured so you really need to make a better effort to be the husband she thought you'd be. Second, plan out the week in advance, together. Decide when you will do things together, when you will be home late, and what days she'll have free time to persue her own interests. Plan out all the when's and where's. That way you both know what is expected of you for that week. There will be no unrealistic expectations and no one will be disappointed. Also set aside at least a half hour every night specifically for the two of you to tell each other about your day.
@ralphido (843)
• India
25 Sep 08
well the easiest way to get rid of your wife's complaining is get her a job or something to pass her time.. it's because she's been feeling lonely and unwanted sitting at home boring herself out that she constantly nags you for attention.. get herself engaged somehow and your problem is solved..