Staying Overnight...

@twoey68 (13651)
United States
September 26, 2008 10:33am CST
Most new mothers, and even not so new, are kind of nervous leaving their newborn overnight away from home. Most will call up repeatedly and check on them and some even show up in the middle of the night to pick the baby up. Although I’ve never been the parent in these situations, I’ve been the babysitter more than once. Thankfully, most of the time it goes on uneventfully and the child is fine when they get picked up. But sometimes things go wrong. A friend of mine left her 1-year-old and newborn over night at a friend’s house for the first time. She called several times and checked on them and they were fine. She and her b/f planned to be away for 2 nights…plans changed and they came back early. The second night (when the kids still would have been there had the plans stayed the same) the apartment building caught fire and burned to the ground. The friend got out but her mother died in the fire. Luckily, the kids had already been picked up but if they hadn’t there’s no guarantee that the kids would have gotten out. The mom hasn’t let the kids out of her sight since…which I can’t blame her. Of course, you can't control everything...some things just happen. What would you have done if these were your kids? Would you keep them right with you from then on or just go on as normal? Do you let your kids stay overnight a lot or mostly keep them at home? Do you think that if something like this happened it would make any difference if the child was at home or at a babysitters? [b]**AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~[/b]
5 people like this
24 responses
@ellie333 (21029)
26 Sep 08
Hi Twoey, I believe everything happens for a reason and the reason the plans were changed was because the children were meant to survive and little ones in a fire that severe that it killed your friends friends mum they probably wouldn't have done. It was a horrible thing to have had happen but at the same time she must learn to let go a little bit as it is impossible to protect them from everything. My own children have always stayed overnight elsewhere at times or they have had frineds come to stay. The first time my son was hurt at school was on a day I was working and I felt guilty that I couldn' be there to give him a hug and make it better but I still have to send him to school. I have actually been caught in a housefire where there were 9 children involved as I was visiting a friend and she had five of her own my two girls as my son wasn't yet born and two of her children had friends round. Luckily we managed to get everybody out except for her eldest daughter who had to jump from an upstairs window, she broke her ankle, we were all taken to hospital but later realeased. It was an electrical fault on a cooker that started it so I am always very carfeul to make sure smoke alarms working and whenever I visit anywhere I always check to see where the exits are. A parent losing a child in a fire at home would be tragic enough but the extra guilt tha would be felt if it happened whilst they were away would be unbearable I should imagine. Ellie :D
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (29043)
• United States
26 Sep 08
I've hardly ever been away from my kids. To be honest I can name each time I've been away from my children since my oldest (who is 11) has been born. The first time I left the oldest overnight, he went with his godparents when he was 3 months old. I had tickets to a concert, so the godparents offered and it was uneventful. Then there was a night the same son was about 4 when I spent the night with my husband while we were still dating, this is obviously before we moved in together. I left the house after my son was asleep, my mom was there, and I arrived back home before my son woke up. After my twins were born, my oldest was about 6. It was just a few months after I got married, my twins weren't even a year old yet. My husband had to have his appendix removed, so he was spending the night in the hospital. His sister took the 3 kids so that I didn't have to worry about finding a sitter while I visited him. All 3 nights were totally uneventful. The only other times I've been away from my kids they've either been with my husband, or they were only left for a few hours with a sitter, which is quite rare. I don't really get away from them much, lol.
1 person likes this
@chaska (170)
• United States
26 Sep 08
I have never left my kids overnight with anyone except my mother. I just feel very scared to leave them with anyone else. My kids are really attatched to their father and I . I call when my kids are at my mother's house but not excessively. I know that thy are in good hands with her. She is more over protective than I am.
1 person likes this
• India
26 Sep 08
when i have returned to my car and searched through every pocket. then i trekked back to the slopes.
1 person likes this
@nanajanet (4436)
• United States
26 Sep 08
I used to let my kids stay overnight, only with people I trusted, but there were nights I was out and they stayed at my home with the kids. A fire could happen with me, or them, and I just have to know that life can end at anytime, no matter how careful you are. Just live life and enjoy each moment you have, that's the best you can do.
1 person likes this
@checapricorn (16066)
• United States
26 Sep 08
[i]Hi twoey, I have no kids but I guess i will never leave my kids to a babysitter overnight or more than 1 night! by the time maybe I have already a kid, hubby and I will bear in our mind that everywhere we go and whatever we want to do, we will always bring our babies! I don't like to blame myself if ever something wrong will happen![/i]
1 person likes this
@34momma (13895)
• United States
26 Sep 08
i am alway trying to get my kids to stay overnight some place!!! i so need a break!!!! LOL LOL. if something like that happened i would not be so over protective my children. i mean to say they could never stay the night out again while i take the well deserved break would be nuts. to say they can't stay over a a friends house because something might happen. i don't live my life that way
@sedel1027 (17854)
• United States
26 Sep 08
My only sitter was my parents, so I never felt bad or guilty for leaving my son behind with them. Heck, after raising two of their own if they couldn't get it right, no one could. The only people I did have problems - and still have problems with - are my now ex-in laws. When we lived near them, just about every weekend they would take my son for a night. Don't get me wrong, they were very helpful but on the same note, they were horrible with discipline and after really knowing what was going on in the family, I wouldn't let them watch my cat!
1 person likes this
@LouRhi (1502)
• Australia
26 Sep 08
My 2 year old has not been away overnight from me and I can't see that about to change anytime soon. My eldest has had a few nights away from me here and there but on the whole it is not very many when you consider she is 7 and it has only ever been with family. Within reason I don't think you can be to overprotective these days. Having said that though I also believe what will be will be and not everything is controllable. Parenting is a careful balancing act
@gemini_rose (16194)
26 Sep 08
The only one of my children that has ever stayed out overnight is my eldest and the only reason he does is because he is 16 so old enough to do it! My other three have never been away from me at all, to stay out. I read your story of your friend and it horrified me, that to me would have made me think that someone was telling me something. I am glad that her children were OK. I guess though, as one who believes in fate etc that if someone's card is marked there is not a lot that can be done about it but I know that if anything like that happened to me, I would fight it all the way even if it meant keeping my children at home until they were old enough to leave!
1 person likes this
@msedge (4012)
• United States
4 Dec 08
Never in my entire motherhood that i left my daughter to anybody else.I always bring her wherever i go even its hard for me.When i was working,i always took her to work.She is my life and i will never let something happen to her.I always pray to God for guidance and good health.
@winterose (39917)
• Canada
29 Sep 08
at the beginning I would be nervous and keep them close, but you can't stop living because something might happen that is like saying you won't cross the street because you might get hit by a car. this was a freak accident could have happened anywhere and place and any time, if you are living in an appartment you can be as careful as you want with fire but does that mean your neigbours are. I had a friend that lost her entire house, she was at work and the electrical wiring caught on fire inside the walls and by the time she got home the firemen told her it was too late it went up so fast they couldn't save it. Does that mean she should never work again and just stay in the house just in case? of course not.
@Mirita (2668)
• United States
27 Sep 08
Well, this is the reason why I was a stayed at home mom when my kids were small. I just didn't want to take any chances.
27 Sep 08
Hi twoey68, If I had somll children like especially new born baby I would not leave them for a second and if the mother wants to go out with boyfriend she should not have children, I cannot not understand them, have chilren and get someelse to look after them while they go out and have a good time, I wouldn't minded it if the children are a bit older, its different but not new born baby for crying out loud. Tamara
@Lakota12 (42681)
• United States
27 Sep 08
a mother would naturaly get the kids out of a fire before anything else even if she didnt make it. and I kno how she feels. as I had 3 boys took off by thier father from MY babysitter and he then put them up for adoption in a different state than where I lived. I didnt know when all this happened till it was to late and then it took me 27 years to find them but me and my daughter dug till we did. But the 2 kids I had with 2nd hubby I watched like a hawk they never got to far from me and never spent the night nywhere but had thier frieds come to our house or I babyset for other people but neer did those 2 have a babt sitter. when things like this happens you get very protective and I dont blame this mom.
@NrgDfenZ (1810)
• Belgium
27 Sep 08
I stay over lots of times :D I like it ^^ Usually staying up all night and doing crazy stuff :D Have a nice day..
@rainmark (4306)
27 Sep 08
I tried to left my son overnight when i processed our visa. But before i left him, i make sure that everythings is fine and safe in the house. I called my mom and my sister to look after my son, everytime i called at home to check if everythings fine. I instructed them properly, i know i wasn't feel alright overnight coz of thinking my son safety. Happy posting.
@mtdewgurl74 (18118)
• United States
27 Sep 08
That is pretty scary thing to happen I certainly would hold them close and be skeptical about leaving them elsewhere but in reality a fire can happen anywhere even at home so it doesn't matter where they are. I would make sure that wherever my children stayed that I would see if the building/home was up to code and no fire hazards so that it wold a less chance of happening again but I would try not to smother them either by not letting them experience life and growing.
• United States
27 Sep 08
Wow. Do you think maybe a little bit of divine intervention was in play here? How very scary.
@drannhh (15241)
• United States
27 Sep 08
The only excuse I can think of for the mother of a newborn to leave her child with somebody else would be if she is in prison or in a life-threatening situation such as a kidnapping or she is in the emergency ward of a hospital or whatever.