Do You And Your Spouse Believen The Same Religion?

United States
September 26, 2008 11:24pm CST
Oops, I think I made a boo boo, I married a man that has different beliefs. We've been married almost 2 years, and it has been very hard and stressful dealing with this matter.First, we don't go to the same church, and second, we go to church on different days, I go on Saturday and he go on Sunday. We visited eachother's place of worship several times, but it didn't really solve anything, our marriage is still in HOT water. Isn't it sad news?
3 people like this
17 responses
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
27 Sep 08
My husband and I went to the same church when we married, but soon left it. I went and joined the Canadian Reformed later on after much searching but he still refuses to go to Church. He refuses even to go to my church even for the concerts. Now he has had a stroke, and cannot walk very fast and he would have to use a car even though the church is at the end of the block. So I guess God is telling him that he had plenty of opportunity but now the window is closing. But at least I did not marry someone of a different belief It is usually best to start up on the same belief. It does make it much easier.
@efc872 (1078)
• Jamaica
27 Sep 08
If you follow him the hot water should get cold.
@efc872 (1078)
• Jamaica
28 Sep 08
It is obvious he is not budging.
@efc872 (1078)
• Jamaica
28 Sep 08
In marriage a woman's existence is temporarily suspended as long as she remains in the marriage. Furthermore she knew of the their difference in the Christian religion. Legally and technically, in marriage, the woman becomes a part of the man. To apply the law, she has no right to complain. This man is very considerate to even allow her to attend another denomination.
• United States
27 Sep 08
Almost but not quite. My wife is Wiccan where I do not ascribe to any religion. I have an affinity to the Judeo/Christian religions from a mystic aspect. Both of us belive in higher powers and magick but we have different methods. Have a great day!!
• United States
27 Sep 08
Oops, I forgot to answer the body of your post. Sorry about that. It sounds as if you are both following your heart and it is a shame that there has been so many wars fought in the name of religion, both at home and away from home. If religion is the cause for all of the strife then maybe religion is a subject that should be left alone. Is your marriag good besides for the religous aspect? If not then religion is not the problem but rather an augmentation to the problems. If religion is the ONLY fuel then go back to basics and remember what it was that brought you togather in the first place. There is not a single problem in the world that cannot come to some sort of resolution. Please do not throw the baby out with the bath water, find the problem and get rid of it. If it is religion then resist the topic and return to pre-religion life. I hope that this has helped a little! Have a great day!!
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
2 Dec 08
Thanks for the best response.
• United States
28 Sep 08
Well I agree with pretty much everyone that has responded to you so far. I wish we had some more information from you though so we could offer more insight. I'm guessing you both believe in the same God. So, as it's been said here already, you probably have more in common than you think. Days of worship would not come between my husband & I. This sounds kind of silly but I'm going to ask it: what if you actually took the time to sit with him and make a list of things your religions have in common and the differences. The discussion alone would be healthy and would possibly bring you closer. You both may realize that your beliefs aren't so different after all. I guess you both need to decide if you want to spend the rest of your lives together. If you do (which I hope you do), then you owe it to yourselves and your relationship to do everything to work through this. I'm pretty sure God only asks for your faith and love, not that you both see eye to eye on everything. All my best to you and God bless you both.
• United States
28 Sep 08
I think it can work out if you agree to respect each other's beliefs. I was a Wiccan and moved in with a Christian boyfriend. Our religious differences made for some interesting discussions, but didn't cause us any stress. I have since converted to Christianity, although I still hold some of my old beliefs- I'm a bit of an eclectic Christian!- but we never argued over religion or tried to convert the other. It was something we agreed upon when we first started dating. Until I became interested in learning more about Christianity, my partner went to church on Sundays, and I went to esbats, and we celebrated holy days together in ways that we could both agree on. Kelly
@smiley83 (1535)
• Malaysia
28 Sep 08
well, i come from an Islamic background..so, i believe my future boo "as i'm still single" to be a muslim as well..and i also prefer him to be from the same country to avoid culture misunderstanding and other stuff as well... Smiley,
@aisaellis22 (6449)
• United States
28 Sep 08
No, my spouse is protestant while I am Catholic but it doesn't matter because we still in the same one God and that is important in a relationship.
• United States
28 Sep 08
My husband and I do have the same beliefs - in fact we met in church. However, having different religious beliefs doesn't have to be such a problem if you don't let it be. Don't pressure each other to believe the other's beliefs. Respect your choices to be different. Obviously I think it's EASIER if you believe the same, but I think its still manageable if you both want it to be, assuming the beliefs are not VASTLY different. Good luck to you.
• United States
27 Sep 08
I think i agree with a poster above me in that I think your problems could be generating from somewhere else then your religions. Maybe religon makes it harder since you do worship on two different days and that sounds like it would alienate me not to share it with my own partner but I understand. Are you Jehovahs Witness or a christian scientist? I think you should try to get at the root of the problem and if indeed it is religon I think you both need to step back and assess the situation. Religion is not something that should bringing your partnership down because essentially it is there to bring you together as one. I think the ego is at work here clouding your heads of all the similarities you DO share. Me, honestly I could never do the church thing though because I did run into alot of gossip and bickering among congregation members and it just made no sense to me when you go to Gods house your supposed to be going to a higher level spirituality for inspiration and that stuff was just bringing me down. I rely on spirituality to keep my spirit whole now. I know a lot of churches offer counseling but I do not think thats the best idea for you two and maybe just sitting down as adults and letting one another that you DO care and deciding that this is not worth losing your relationship....of course unless you want to
• United States
27 Sep 08
we were of different beliefs when we got married but my hubby never mentioned or forced his on me and supported mine and then later i chose to have the same beliefs but i had studied and chose on my own.. never asked him about it we just ended up that way.. lol
@ramangill (1479)
• India
27 Sep 08
well i think that is less about religion,that is more about mutual understanding, and this issue should have been discussed before marriage. but still you can discuss and find some way i think. gud luck. thanks,you look good
@belk89 (1103)
• Philippines
27 Sep 08
I have married a person who had a different religion. But we never make a big deal over which church we should go. I guess i was lucky that he didnt mind going to a catholic church even though his religion is protestant. I have the same views over that matter too. When he wanted us to join the mass at his church i didnt mind it at all. What really matters most to me is we both believe in God and we love each other.
• United States
27 Sep 08
I am curious if the two of you discussed your differences of religion before marriage? Which church were you married in...his or yours? Do you both believe in the same God? I am a christian who attends church.My husband believes as I do but won't go to church.This has put some strain on the marriage. I just continue going to church with our kids and pray he will come around.
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
27 Sep 08
No...My husband is agnostic, my boyfriend is Christian and I'm Pagan/Buddhist....HOWEVER it doenst cause any friction because we respect each others choices.. Why do you and your husband have such issues with it I mean he has his beliefs you have yours and that should be the end of it IMO ya know..
@emarie (5454)
• United States
27 Sep 08
well, how different are the religions? my husband is a baptist and i'm a catholic. and my sister's a catholic as well but she takes her son to a Lutheran church. if the religion is within Christianity, it shouldn't be that different to adjust one way or another. in essence, across all religions, we all have the same ideals, the belief in something greater then we are. a high power so to say and thats the common link. once you find that link and understand it, everything else is just a method of worship. religion doesn't have to be something that will break a marriage apart. there is love in there and i'm sure thats the reason you married in the first place. knocking heads about something like religion isn't going to save your marriage.
• United States
27 Sep 08
It would be a shame if that would be a reason to end a marriage. My hubby and I don't have a religion but we believe in almost the same things.