teacher-student relationship

Philippines
September 27, 2008 12:17am CST
hi mylotters! I have heard a lot of stories about student falling in-love with the teacher and vise versa. Others even got married. Well, the school could be a venue for romance to blossom. But is this advisable? whats your views? for me, i dont see anything wrong with it. as long as they put things into its proper place.
6 people like this
22 responses
@SaintAnne (5453)
• United States
27 Sep 08
I think you should be more specific with the ages of those involved, chellymarz. A lot of us would assume that we are talking about adult individuals here, more likely college students and their professors. Some might assume that we are talking about minors and their high school teachers which is a big no-no in most societies. I've heard of two couples who met in college under such relationship (teacher-student) and they did end up married. One couple have been married for more than 40 years. I, myself, don't find anything improper with two adults falling in love. And like you, just as long as they act appropriately while in school and the student does not get any special attention in class, then so be it. Teachers are looked up at and they should be a model of respectability and for most of society, dating a student may be breaking such decorum. But teachers are at their workplaces and they get to see these students day in and out and sometimes it can't be helped that relationships stem from spending so much time together. I just think that if that teacher finds someone to love in a student, it is cruel to deprive him/her of that because society dictates so.
• Philippines
2 Oct 08
hi saintanne. im referring to college students and professors. thanks for clarifying and for the response. i like your views.
@lol1990 (23)
• Malaysia
2 Oct 08
Im not very sure of this kind of relationship. Its better that have a relationship with others, but not a teacher.^^
@rup011 (726)
• Germany
30 Sep 08
In my culture and tradion a teacher has been given a place same as God. It is very important to understand and follow this to avoid future sorrow and problems. I think nowadays nobody believes this. But relationships should not be mixed.I guess it can affect ones studies, career and life. Controlling ones mind and senses is very important. But most of the people will disagree saying that everything is fair in love and war. But I shared my point of view. I feel that somes rules need to be followed. Just imagine a teacher feeling uncomfortable with the feelings a student has for her. It will affect her teaching and career too. But if everybody follows that a teacher student relationship should be restricted to only this and nothing else, it will be comfortable for both the teacher and the student. I once faced a similar situation, when a teacher had a crush on me. I being a girl was so terrified. He had the power to fail me also. So I had to take the help of my father to explain the teacher, that what he was doing was not good. So such feelings should never be encouraged.
@salonga (28016)
• Philippines
29 Sep 08
Yes, exactly. As long as they don't do it in the school I don't find any reason why they should not be allowed.
28 Sep 08
LOL, I had do laugh when I read this! My 16 yr old daughter had a MAJOR crush on one of her teachers! He's young and only about 9 years older than her. I think if the students are older, mature, still able to focus on their studies and the teacher can still focus on teaching and everything is kept in perspective then everything is ok. If things get out of hand and it's exploited all over the school then no it shouldn't happen. Renee
• Philippines
28 Sep 08
I witnessed this happening when I was still a student too. I'm no righteous person to judge others but I don't think it's etjical to encourage such relationship. I mean, a school is supposed to be a place for learning and teachers as role models, encouraging students to enter relationhips that is somewhat unacceptable in the society is just not good. But well, I can do nothing about it if these people would really say they love each other to cross barriers. I have been courted by two of my college professors before, I turned both of them down. They were nice guys, intellectual and funny. But I have no plans of getting myself judged by other people in the campus, so I shun them away. I beleived if they really were serious about having a relationship with me, they could wait until I graduated. But it seems they cannot wait so there... their lost, LOL!
• Philippines
28 Sep 08
hi chellymarz. i have heard a similar stories too when i am still studying in college.. my college friend told me that my classmate have an affair or relationship to my professor. at first it is not right because they are my professor. but im thinking that my professor is single and he have the right to have a relationship to anyone. But I advices my classmate to focus in her studies. and be not serious...
• Malaysia
28 Sep 08
student-teacher relationship..wel if the teahcer is a guy and the student is a girl,then it looks ok..but how about if the teacher is a women?aren't it quite wierd...age, maturity,....how about from students n other teachers point of view..it's looks akward to me...maybe somebody may change my idea of it?
@Gwapako_28 (2142)
• Philippines
28 Sep 08
right... you are very much right... i agree with that... i have friend also that having a relationship like that... they even got married and with kids... now they have a happy family...
@nytrisco (567)
• Philippines
27 Sep 08
I do know some people from the past having this relationship but it didn't quite do well. As for me, when I was still studying I only had a crush on some of my teachers but not to the point that I've fallen for them. I have a friend that is a teacher and she is going to take the teacher's licensure exam, she told me that this topic were part of their ethics and how to deal with it? simple, if they really love each other they just have to wait for the student to graduate on the said school before move their relationship to the next level. I think that was the correct answer on their ethics.
@lanlan011 (701)
• United States
27 Sep 08
I dont see anythin wrong with it. As long as it doesnt interfere with the students grades because they are in a relationship. But i believe the teacher should wait until the student graduates. Its also okay if the student is over 16. I think the school systems are a little too harsh.
• United States
27 Sep 08
It really all depends on how old the two people are. I mean if you are like 19 and you are falling inlove with a 90 year old then i think that's just sick, no afence to anyone ^_^
@aisaellis22 (6449)
• United States
27 Sep 08
Teacher and student relationship is not a taboo. I am a teacher and based on our code of ethics of professional teachers, a teacher can have a relationship with his student as long as you did not display your relationship in school and it should be discreet as possible. But of course, a teacher is not allowed to have a relationship if the student is underage. Mostly, when you are a teacher, the student idolized you and even thought their feeling as love even if it's only infatuation. So as a teacher, you must have boundaries with them, be fixed and act as a professional that student will respect.
• Philippines
27 Sep 08
hi friend, i heard a lot of stories about this too. i don't think there is anything wrong with it as long as they know their boundaries and to separate personal and professional life. though the question is would the school allow such thing to happen? but it is okay as long as the job or the teacher is not affected by matters of the heart. :)
• Philippines
27 Sep 08
Hi there chellymarz! I have been teaching in the university for eight years and I have encountered a lot of these incidents. I have never been in a teacher-student romantic relationship but I sure saw a lot of my students being in one. I have seen some of my colleagues being in one. Late last year, one of my colleagues married his girlfriend -- a former student of his. I do not see anything wrong with having this kind of relationship. For as long as both parties know their limitations, it would be fine. It's just sad that here in the Philippines, this kind of relationship is really frowned upon.
@siuloong (52)
• China
27 Sep 08
I don't think so. I think it is evil that a student loves a teacher or contrary. First, they don't have same experience of life, maybe this sort of love establishs on the basis of admire or respect, so it can't be kept for a long time. The student may be hurt in the end.
@shiloh_222 (5480)
• Philippines
27 Sep 08
yeah... you have a great point there friend... all in proper place. but some other people dont understand the special cases.... u know.... and only focused on the teacher-student relationship only but not the real situation. it's like having a family member as a student....
@JanMags (726)
• Philippines
27 Sep 08
The Supreme Court has had a ruling regarding teacher-student romantic relationships. the most popular case is about a teacher who fell in love with her grade six student. after the student graduated, they eventually became an item. If i remember the case correctly, the teacher's employment was terminated. she filed a case and the court sided with her. i believe the law does not prohibit such relationships as long as the teacher's work is not affected and the student has not been shown to have been taken advantage of. personally though, i have my reservations. i don't have a problem with such romantic relationships per se. My only concern is with the moral ascendency issue. i've been wondering if young students really know the responsibilites and consequences of falling in love. older teachers definitely have an advantage over their younger partners because they have been through a lot already. case in point: does a young student who has fallen madly in love for the first time know how to deal with the possibility of a break up or the relationship going sour?
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
27 Sep 08
It all depends on the ages and the people involved. I have a very good friend that fell in love with her husband....her teacher at age 17. He was 22 and single. They are now happily married and have 4 children. I also know that young girls often get crushes on teachers and teachers will take advantage of that and it is so wrong. I would say if a student is under 17 then it should definitely be off-limits. Again, each situation varies.
@nanayangel (7839)
• Philippines
27 Sep 08
Hi there ChellyMarz! I have heard alot of similar stories too. I believe that it wouldn't be advisable because it would get in the way of what you should be focusing on in school. One should be focusing on studies and the other on teaching. It will greatly affect your competence in your status. I remember having crushes on some of my male teachers when I was in high school and it seems pretty normal because only few matured men will be found in the place of learning especially here in our area. But having relationships is a different, much serious matter. I think that it should always be avoided.