Liars.. =(

Singapore
September 28, 2008 7:23am CST
I hate it when people lie to me... especially when it's someone close to me who does that. I am very unhappy today.. Well, as my friends know, I am in Malaysia now.. It's supposed to be my 14th month anniversary and it's the very first 28th of the month falls on a Sunday, where it's my boyfriend's off day. But, alas it was not meant to be. I came here for 4 days as he told me that I stay at home on Saturday and Sunday, be a good girl and don't go out and he will bring me out on Sunday to celebrate. Yeah right! Guess what! We went to the temple for 1 hour and afterwards, we were back to his home because his family is at home! Then what's the point of me taking a 12 hour ride up to his house to visit him, only to stay at home for a grand total of 56 hours staring at the wall and rewatching movies that I had watched before? Am I so insignificant in his heart that I take a back seat to everything? It was only to a very big fight that he brought me out to a cybercafe to enable me to connect to the world! That's how my 14th month anniversary went. It's not so much about celebrating it that is disturbing me, but the fact that he LIED to me about bringing me out to celebrate. Am I so unimportant in his heart? I am just so miserable today. If I knew that this is going to happen, I would have had came up to here for only 2 days instead of the intended 4 days. I was thinking that it would be very rush if we were to go out on Sunday and that it would be rushing for me to rush for my bus back.. SO, I asked him again and again if he's bringing me out, and he affirm that. But I was disappointed.. I guess after today he's going to tell me he wants to let me go.. But then what can I do? It's a big waste of my time to be up here. get disappointed and to find out that I am just so insignificant in his heart to the extent that he can break off his promises to me just so that he could accompany his family, and what more! ON our ANNIVERSARY day where it's supposed to be a happy day for both of us. Thank you for letting me know this through this.
1 person likes this
9 responses
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
29 Sep 08
YEah yeah.. I completely understand your feelings, and it's not a good feeling.. i understand that u must havhe felt very sad and angry at that time, but also much more disappointed.. Because i've experienced the same thing too, but i'm the one who broke my promise instead, and i felt guilty.. IN the case of yours, no matter how your bf might and is treating u right now, he will still be feeling guilty.. Because u are his gf.. U are someone close to him too.. Whatever he does to u, he will also feel equally hurt, if not, more.. As i mentioned it b4, some guys will tend to take a relationship for granted as time goes by, and so there will be times for both of u to really talk about it, and not getting into arguments when the 2 of u rarely sees each other.. Yup, u are right, that u feel insignificant in his heart as he's like never really doing anything to make u feel appreciated or assured.. But when u are with him, how do u feel?? Times being spent together is the most important of all, as it's not something that u 2 can afford most of the time.. Even if it's just an hr, it's better than not seeing u at all.. THough he have broken his promise, but i believe he won't be so heartless to end the whole relationship.. As for the arguement to going to the cybercafe, i guess he's just scared for your safety, or if not, he just wants more time with his parents, and of coz, with u around too.. IN the end, he still bring u tothe cybercafe, means that he sort of understand that u needed your break and needs cooling down or someone to talk too, that's y he brought u there in the end?? That's my guess only.. Hopefully by today, u have make up with your bf and everything is fine now.. Quarrels are meant to be short term, and not be carried forward to the next day, what's over is over.. And what's done cant be undone.. HAve a goodtalk with him while u are still there.. BUt dun ever tell him about what sacrifices u have done for him, because it will only make things worse, as he has got ego and pride.. However if he still cant understand y u are so disappointed and sad, i guess he still doesn't understand u enough.. By then, it's time for u to decide whether to leave or stay on with him, for as long as he dun understand u, this won't be the 1st or last time the same thing is gonna happen...
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
3 Oct 08
YEah, some ple are over confident just because they look good and that they are able to find any gals to be their gfs, even when the actual ones have broke up with them.. And we cant say for sure that the their gfs are foolish to forgive, but rather it's the love for them ^_^ GAls are always the more forgiving party in a relationship ^_^ The friend of mine?? I guess he will never learn his lesson, because he and his wife has been dating for 3-5 yrs, and during that time, he had 2-3 flings, with the most recent one ending, just days b4 he was about to get married BUt the last news i heard was that, the broken up gf post some messages for him in his friendster, and what happens after that, i dunno le.. haha =D Hopefully nothing serious happens.. ANd if the wife were to find out, like u mention, the wife will not trust him anymore, and that he's more likely to have a fling again someday.. I guess, when such a thing happen and they are still together, it's the love that they have for each other.. ONce is more than enough for a mistake, and if it happens again, no matter how deep is the love, nobody is able to take the same blow twice.. And so by saying or telling oneself that, their partner will change for the better, is actually a mere consolation for themselves.. I know that.. haha =D MAybe your body has been well trained for it, and that u managed to survive so long with this kinda hectic lifestyle.. hehe Thus, it somehow affects your emotion to things too.. hehe =D U are right about arguements, it's always better to avoid than to start one, because an arguement is actually pointless.. A total waste of energy and time when nobody is gonna admit anything but keep blaming and pouring out more stuffs :( Ya lo, sweet revenge.. When it comes to a time whereby he knows u are not going down that often, he will start to give u a surprise by coming over instead le ^_^ And also, u need to know your RIGHTS in a relationship as well as the PRIVILEDGES that u should have ^_^ hehe Relationships nowadays is no longer like b4.. It's much simpler or complicated, depending on how u see it... As my fren said, in the past when one wants to date, they can only call each other no matter how paiseh they feel.. But now, we can even msg without feeling awkard and that we can actually lie.. U see the difference?? lol =D Love to youngsters now, is not as pure like b4.. All they want is just somebody pretty or good looking to accompany them so that they will look good too.. lol =D Right?? YEah, that's y so far, i have only patched up once with one of my gfs, but in the end, the relationship still failed and it ends much more earlier than when we are 1st together.. haha =D BUt it's all in the past, what's left now are just bits and pieces of memories which acts as an experience for me ^_^ Singlehood is not a bad idea after all ^_^ lol =D Take care too, my fren ^_^ It's weekends now.. HAVe more rest ^_^ lol
• Singapore
1 Oct 08
Lol It's never a good feeling to be lied to, and to be let down time and time again. I'm not too sure how many of these disappointments I can take any longer. Just know that I am never going to fall for another promise of his to bring me out, and future visits will only be for one day, at the very most two days, No more with 4 days of visits any longer! I sure don't wish to be taken for a fool anymore! Lol. You should feel guilty! Breaking off promises like that! You must have broken the girls' hearts too! How can you do this to an innocent girl? Well I'm sidetracking here! hehe But I am sure you are able to take me as I come right? [i] (I will continue my post when I come back.. rushing out now..)[/i]
1 person likes this
• Singapore
2 Oct 08
Hmm.. I don't think it's only guys, but rather everybody be it guys or girls who will tend to take relationships for granted as time goes by, and they feel that everything in the relationship is stable and secure. What people tend to fail to see is that relationship is like a plant, needing constant nurture and care. Once the owner starts to neglect the plant, it will wilter and die, as in the case of every single failed relationship. Lol I hardly get into arguements with my boyfriend one. Like what one of my real life friend says, I am a damn good actress, meaning to say I flare up fast, but I mask it fast and calm down very fast.. so rarely will it escalate into an arguement. Our arguments is mostly more of a calm discussion. Lol. It's weird. Well, he has never given up anything for me, nor had he appreciated what I had done for him. But that is totally fine for me. My request in a relationship is pretty simple actually - to respect me and to keep to your promises. That's about it. But he had managed to break even these two rules. Initially, I was very happy to be with him, but recently it had became more of a chore than anything else, especially when he started making excuses not to come down to visit me, nor to bring me out when I go up to visit him, always claiming that he had no money.. Lol, I am someone who had always managed to get my own way, and that he understands well about me. He knew that I wouldn't fly into a rage if he does not bring me there, but rather I would make excuses next time round NOT to come by to visit him. And that's the main reason why he brought me down, because he does not want me to stop coming. And you are right to say that it won't be the first time. In fact, this had been happening again and again for the past 1 year or so. And till now, he still don't get it, and I believe that he will never get it. But it's alright. I get over arguements fast, and I had gotten over it. Afterall that's just him. Most people stay on with each other out of habit when the love is gone.. and I am guessing that is what leads to the game of patching up and breaking up. Sheesh~ I sure hope that my relationship will not end up that way.. and it won't if I make all the right choices and decisions to which he is concerned. You are evil! But I like that attitude! Lol, make him suffer till he comes begging. Now.. that would make a very nice image! Wahaha.. Well, thanks for the advice given. Take care and Happy Mylotting!
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Sep 08
I can not stand a liar. Although please lie to me about how young I look I can handle that. Otherwise it just hurts to find out you were lied to . I am sorry you had to go through it and i am pretty sure we all have. I caught my ex husband lying to me and he was having an affair. The impact it has on your makes it a whole new ball game too . A white lie about your shoes might not be so bad , but the extreme lie that makes you hurt all over just plain out sucks. Though he is going to see his family , family is a a very important thing . Move over to his shoes , he might feel horrible having to do this to , yet he needs to be there to see his mom or grandmother that might not have much longer. Try to look at the whole picture it may not be as bad as it seems . I am sure everything will be OK . If you guys have been together for a long period of time , I am sure he has deep emotions for you and that if you made it as far as past the first date , You may have a chance yet. Communication is key , talk to him , and try not to get angry .
1 person likes this
• Singapore
1 Oct 08
Nobody can stand a liar, I believe in that. If a person is just going to keep lying and lying to you, how can one believe in the next words that will be coming out of your mouth? It's just like the story of "The Boy Who Cried Wolf". When a person cries wolf too many times, even when he/she is speaking the truth the next time round, no one is going to believe in what is spoken. That's the harsh reality. It hurts to be lied to. But of course, there are little white lies that somehow will make somebody's day (just like lying to you about how young we look! ) Those are little white lies that are always welcome and pleasing to the ears. I'm sorry to hear about your husband lying to you and having an affair outside. that sort of just breach the marriage vow that both of you had taken and it breaks all trust in the person. Nobody should tolerate a person who cheats on us, as we will never know when is the next time they are going to do it again. Are things working out fine for both of you? haha.. he sees his family every single day, he sees me only one day for a whole month. That should be sufficient reason for him to keep to his promises just like how i endured 12 hours of sitting upright in a bus through the entire night just to visit him and spend time with him, not with his family! Whatever it is, I will not and do not want to dwell too much on this matter. Let it go and be happy! I just want to say the next time round, i will no longer be so dumb any more! What a waste of my time and a waste of my leave from the company. these leave days could be put use to much better use! There won't be a repeat incident from me again. No more going there for more than a day, no matter what he promised me.. and no more taking the coach up for 12 hours! I will just have to wait for the next promotion on plane tickets to visit him again. We have been together for 14 months plus already, but in actual fact have only met each other for 14 times in that 14 months. Lol, is that considered long or short? I don't know. Thanks for your comments! Really appreciated the thoughts behind what you had said! Take care of yourself too and happy mylotting!
1 person likes this
• Nepal
29 Sep 08
It is very dissapointing for you. Every people's vision of living is different so,we can found many different people in the world. But, i think liars persons are enjoy from it but they can not think the anixety for other persons. Anyway i hate liars they are close or not.
• Singapore
1 Oct 08
Yes, it was disappointing. But I had got over it! Lol I just don't like to dwell in the negativity of life, and neither do I like to dwell on unhappy stuff that had been happening in my life for this entire one month. Like what people say, be happy as we have only one chance to live this life! So be happy and enjoy every minute of our lives. Live life to its fullest potential and we will be happy always! Nobody likes a liar, especially not when we can no longer trust what's real or what's fake coming from their mouths. Promises made are meaningless when its coming from someone who can never keep to their own promises. So, I can understand where you are coming from, more so when I myself hate liars and hate people breaking their promises to me for no good reason. Well, thanks for your comments! Take care and happy mylotting!
1 person likes this
@rkrish (3003)
• India
29 Sep 08
my ears alwasy goes red if see somebody who close to me is lies to me. So i never getting into the trap being fooled means i commonly wont react on others speak and other words too. So i am not minding others to make my actions its everywhere and i dont believe for everything with otehrs
• Singapore
1 Oct 08
Lol.. that means your blood is rushing all the way to your head as you are getting angry over somebody's lies. Everyone will get angry when we discovered that somebody is lying to us, especially more so when it is someone close to us that we had trusted in and believed in. It's more of a hurting feeling than anything else. People always says that honesty hurts, but I believe that being lied to hurts much more than any other truth would hurt. At the very least, the anger over any honesty lasts for only a few days, but the anger and hurt that stems from lies will last for a lifetime as the trust between the person who is being lied to and the person doing the lying had been breached. After this sort of lying session, how can anybody trust the words that are coming from the mouths of the party the next time round? Not trusting people can be a good thing and it can also be a bad thing in life. It's good that you have never fallen into the trap of being fooled by others that easily, but on the flip side, it would also show a over cautiousness on your part in life. It's tough not putting our trust in anybody in life, and it is also a sad thing in life as it means that we had never really let anybody into our hearts at any one point of our lives. We must judge for ourselves whether or not if someone's words and actions can be trusted. We trust, but we be cautious in trusting too. That is one of the best combination to prevent ourselves from getting hurt too badly when our trust in another person's is breached. Well, thanks for your comments, my friend! Take care and happy mylotting!
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@nlcapricorn (1114)
• Philippines
29 Sep 08
I should say that he doesnt care. He just ruin your special day. Im so sorry to know that. It cant be denied that there are really men like that who doesnt really care of our feelings. Its really hard when you hope and just for nothing. You are so much excited with that day with you both to celebrate and then just end up for nothing. I really know how you feel Angel..YOu can talk to him and tell him what you feel. Dont keep it by yourself of you will burst out....I hope that everything will be fine..
1 person likes this
• Singapore
1 Oct 08
Lol, some men can really be so dense sometimes! And they wonder why we are so unreasonable when they are the ones being so insensitive as always!! It's really disappointing when i was expecting the big surprise that he was talking to me about before I went up to look for him, only to find myself staring at the four white (blue?) walls for four days straight with absolutely nothing to do besides watching TV! Yawn!! What a 'nice' surprise and wonderful way to waste my time and annual leave right? I did tried to talk to him about it, and he was sweet about it the next day. Hopefully, he will keep this incident to heart and not commit the same thing again. I am a easy girl to please as I don't expect anything out of him. Just the very one thing that I expect is for him to keep to the promises that were made, if you can't do it, then don't promise. It's as simple as that. Thanks for your comments! Take care of yourself too and happy mylotting!!
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
28 Sep 08
Calm down.. not to be so angry. =) I do have same problem previously, even i know is a big day for me and my girlfriend, but the willingness to plan is very low cause my feeling and thinking is we already know each other, i am kind of low profile people and wish to stay and rest at home, so my other half should knows and understand that. But that's wrong, guy think and gal think is totally different. =P Like my ex, she frank to me and tell me what she want, ends up i know what to do then. And glad that she so open and explain to me calmly. Hope you too and all the best.
• Singapore
1 Oct 08
Lol, I had long been past that, and I had chosen the happy approach to anything in life! Well, I guess I was just cheesed off as I had cleared 2 whole days of my annual leave in Singapore just to spend time with him, after confirming with him for the entire month that he would be bringing me out on that sunday! But when i reached there, for the entire 4 days in malaysia, I was just starting at the four walls, alone in his house, and on his off day, in a cybercafe by myself! To me, where time is precious, it is just a very big waste of my time and my leave! I can always do that in singapore if I wanted to spend time alone, and not travel 12 hours by coach all the way to find him and accompany him, and in the end, ended spending time by myself! He do understand me, and I do understand him. He is the sort who loves to stay at home, and I don't mind staying at home alone. Afterall, for the past one year, whenever I went up to Malaysia to visit him, I would be spending time with him at his place together with his family. And that is a one time affair every month. He knows that once a promise is made, i expect it to be fulfilled and that is the cause of all the troubles. Frankly speaking if I knew that I would be alone for the entire 4 days there, i would just stayed in singapore and go up to malaysia by plane for 1 day and fly back to Singapore on the same day itself. That's why I was pissed off! Well, i noticed from your profile that you are from Penang, malaysia! Well, that's very near to my boyfriend's place. Lol, hard to find Malaysians in Mylot! Glad to see you here! Well take care and happy mylotting!!
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
2 Oct 08
Hmmm. Thanks for viewing my profile, just wonder may be we saw each other sometimes, somewhere in Penang. LOL. Can feel that you are kind of aggressive and productive type of person, you don't really want to waste the time just like that. Again, we can always learn from experience, this round the approach is not so satisfy, then change the method. Like you said, if you know the situation earlier, then you would use plane, so next time, ask him first lor. =)
• Singapore
3 Oct 08
Do you think we have met before? Lol.. that's my picture on my avator which was snapped in Penang restaurant. Perhapes it's just a brush by and we did not really notice each other? Yeah~ I like to make full use of my time. As it is, 24 hours per day is not enough.. and time should be utilised to its fullest use, and not used to stare at the four walls. Lol. There must always be a purpose in whatever we do, and if we have set aside time for relaxation, then that's the purpose there. So.. this time round, it is just not productive as I had achieved what I set out to do on my trip there - and that is to spend time with him. Lol, I did asked him specifically.. and he confirm for the entire month. Who will know his plans will change so drastically when we are there? Well, take care and perhapes in future, we would have the chance to meet up!? Happy Mylotting!
1 person likes this
• India
29 Sep 08
Oh dear!! That's sad, and I thought you would have a great time. I did find your response to my comment a bit strange, but rightly guessed you would start a new discussion on it. So, does it mean I know you very well now??? LOL!! My dear, why not marry this guy? You will be together always, and have umpteen celebrations together. ;) He shouldn't have lied to you, but could it be that he meant to take you out for a celebration, and only at the last minute changed his mind about it? What I mean to say, it might not have been a lie when he said it, but later the family visited and he could do nothing about it? Forgive the poor guy. After all, to err is human; to forgive divine. ;) And I have a feeling that he will make it up to you one of these days. Expect a surprise visit soon!! With lots of gifts to cheer you up!! Cheers and happy mylotting
• Singapore
1 Oct 08
I thought that I would have a great time there too! And it happened the other way! Haha, i did indeed have had a GREAT time staring at the four walls for 4 whole days straight, ALONE in the house, with just a TV to accompany me! What a great way to spend after travelling for 12 hours on the bus! =D Yes, my dear friend, you do know me well enough by now! everytime I make a strange comment, there would be a new discussion to further explain on what is going on. Lol I just find it easier to explain everything in one single discussion to a whole lot of people than to respond individually to everybody else's comments with the same story repeated like 50 times? Hehe.. I'm just plain lazy, no excuses about that! I have forgiven him already, right on the second day when he apologised to me upteen times and bought food for me to ensure that I have not gone hungry just like how I did on that fateful day! That is enough for me to forgive him. Lol. But I am sure looking forward to that surprise visit with lots of presents! Even better if the presents is lots of yummy yummy food! Hehe.. i am smiling as I am thinking of that. But, I have got to *snaps *snaps back to reality and stop dreaming. Lol That's so not going to happen! But girls can still fantasise and dream! =D Family visiting is not an excuse to forgo the promise that had been made. It will be understandable if it's just a rare occassion, but these are the very people that he sees every single day, and I only get to see him for one day out of 31 days of the month. So, that is definately NOT an excuse. Well, I appreciate the thoughts and concern that is coming from you and that you are trying to make me better. Thanks girl! Well, happy mylotting! And take care!!
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@bunnybon7 (50975)
• Holiday, Florida
28 Sep 08
that is so sad. are you sure he deserves you? possibly you could do better and get a guy that appreciates a woman thats trying to make him happy. someone who cares for your feelings and happiness also. you should not settle for less.
• Singapore
1 Oct 08
I'm still looking. Lol. Just kidding! Well, in love I won't say whether or not one party deserves the other party. i would just have to say if one party did indeed appreciate the other party. That's about it. There's no right and wrongs in any relationship just whether or not, there is respect and appreciativeness in one. I know that to him, I will have to take a backseat to everything else in his life. And the fact that he's 12 hours away from me and that we only see each other one day out of the entire month just complicates matter. But then, I am not someone to give up, and coupled that with the fact that I had waited 5 years for him... Lol Like I just told my friend yesterday, I would only leave him if I managed to find an exact same personality in a guy in Singapore. And well, I do believe that dreams do come true. This is not the real him, I know the real him 5 years back. I am guessing that the hurt that he had got 5 years back from his ex-gf is something that he had never recovered from and right now up to now, he is still thinking about her, and that he had never truely opened himself to me, but nevertheless, I am making progress. Well, let me just see how it goes,.. Go with the flow and take things easy. I don't also want to think too far or too much on this matter. Thanks for your response my friend! Happy mylotting and take care!
1 person likes this
@the_evil (46)
• Philippines
29 Sep 08
oh thats sad story of yours... you know what..? many men are so stupid.. they keep on hurting people who really loves you.. if i wear that i swear i will neve do the to you..
• Singapore
1 Oct 08
Some men can be just so dense sometimes. They just don't get it..! And they think that its us women who are unreasonable and inflexible. Talk about double standards! I believe that you will not do the same if you are a sensitive boy! Well, thanks for your comments! Take care and happy mylotting!
1 person likes this