Marriage with 17?

Austria
September 28, 2008 8:17am CST
My best friend told me that she will marry in November. Shes only 17 years old. And Im supposed to be the witness. Its a bit strange to me. I dont wanna say its wrong and on the other side I know that it coud be the wrong dessision. Especially the know each other for only a 3/4year... What would you du if you are in such a situation... Maybe its the right way, maybe not... Is it possible, that a 17year old girl is ripe enough to get married? greez Manuel
3 people like this
24 responses
@angelia286 (2029)
• Singapore
28 Sep 08
There is nothing wrong to be marrying at the age of 17, isn't it? Lol, everybody has their own hopes and dreams, and if let's say they are truely in love with each other, and both are mature enough to be handling the responsibilites that comes with marriage, I would have to say why not? Different people mature at different ages. And even if she were to wait til she's like 25 years old to get married, the outcome might or might not still be the same. Time in knowing a person does not determine how well they know each other. Like me, I know my boyfriend for close to 6 years already, but would I say that my relationship is stable than others? I would say no. My relationship is in fact much more unstable than those who had only been together for 1 month, and known each other for that short period of time. Nobody knows her situation and her feelings as we are not her. But I would have to say that there is no rights and wrongs where love is concern. Go for it, and give your whole hearted approval, so long as she is happy. And even if problems were to surface in the later part of her marriage, she has no one to blame for but herself. But if things work out great, then she will be blissfully in love. Why not? 17 years old is all but a number. How old is she mentally? That is what you will have to be asking yourself. Well, take care! And don't think about it so much! Just be happy for her, and be truely blessed that your best friend had found her true love! Take care and happy mylottinG!!
• Austria
28 Sep 08
Im really happy for her. But although she is really mature shes also kind of naive. And I mean, I also talked about marriage in the age of 17. And the person is still my great love, the greatest I ever had, but we couldnt be together, we found out a few months later...
• Singapore
5 Oct 08
I'm sad to hear that from you that you were planning to get married, but it did not work out. Oh Well, everything in life always happens for a reason, and there could be a reason why this is the case.. even though we might not understand what it is at the present moment. Take good care of yourself and don't let this one incident affect your judgement for any marriages at young age, ook? Glad to hear that you are happy for your cousin! Hopefully she will have a really blissful marriage with her soon to be husband and that she will lead a happy married life with her husband!
• United States
28 Sep 08
i really believe that it depends on the person. i was with my ex-boyfriend for 6 1/2 years. we met at the end of my freshman year in college, and i really thought i was so in love and so ready for marriage that if he would have asked me when i was 18 i would have said yes. i am now 31, and looking back i realize that i was just not ready. i was mature, but not ready for that kind of step. now my brother got married when he and his wife were both 18 (or 19?) and i thought they were so stupid. but they have been married for i believe 8 years now and are so much in love and so happy. it was right for them. i guess only the person getting married can truly answer that question for themselves. they just need to be honest about their reasons for wanting to get married. if they enter into it with the wrong desires or expectations, it will not work, but that is regardless of how old you are! :)
• Austria
28 Sep 08
Well, her reasons are that she loves him and she wants to get out of her mothers house because shes hitting her and closing her into her room. But I think thats just one reason and not the most importent thing on it...
• United States
28 Sep 08
i mean, that is definitely a reason to leave the house, but just to get married?
@subha12 (18453)
• India
29 Sep 08
i don't know the rules in your country. but in ours marraiage at 17 is illegal. girls' min age to marry is 18 while for boys its 21. so being witness is not a good idea. whatever ytou feel
• Austria
29 Sep 08
In austria you can marry with 17, if your manor enough
• United States
29 Sep 08
Marriage really shouldn't be based on age. It depends on how mature she is. Has she experienced enough to make her prepared for such a commitment? If she's mentally prepared then it's fine. If she met someone and fell head over heals and felt an overwhelming notion to just get married then she should be worried. She needs to be ready for all the responsibilities and ups and downs of the committed relationship.
• Austria
29 Sep 08
well, she thinks, that she is... although she knows him for only 9 Months...
• United States
28 Sep 08
In most cases i dont feel 17 is old enough to get married. However, everyone matures differently. If she is done with school, has a job, or going to college, can live on her own with ehr spouse and live as a responsible adult, well it might be the right age for her. For the most part though i dont think its right at that age. As for waht you should do, nothing. You are not her parent, so you cant tell her not to do it in a parenting im watching out for you sort of way...you are her best friend, and in many cases people feel that best friends should stick by your decisions even if they dont agree with them.
• Austria
28 Sep 08
well, she hasnĀ“t finished school yet, she dont know if she can get any job and she wants to live at her husbands place. Of course I cant decide if its right or not, but in any kind I feel a bit accountable for her dessisions...
• Australia
30 Sep 08
The girl is still too young to get married. The legal age for a girl to get married is 18. They're going steady for 3/4 years but that does not mean that after being together for that years, she's gonna get married. Marriage at young age means a lot of responsibilities and she might not handle it because she's immature at her age.
@enavnai13 (509)
• Philippines
29 Sep 08
i am not saying that getting married at 17 is wrong... it's just too early... teens tend to be very impulsive in making decisions... what they think of is the feeling or what is happening to them as of the moment... they don't see the other possibilities or those things that will happen if they do this and that... i mean, their minds are still too young... but that's her decision... and i respect that... i just hope she decides the right thing... and won't end up regretting or separated...
@Lindalinda (4112)
• Canada
29 Sep 08
I think in today's world it is a bad decision to get married at age 17 if you have not finished school, learned a trade, are enrolled in college or university. It is a really bad decision to get married because you want to get out of your mother's house. Every woman in this day and age has to be prepared to support herself and possibly a child or more on her own. Marriages break up at a great rate and unfortunately the child support that men pay (usually it is men) is not enough to raise a child. Women have to be independent and capable of supporting a family on their own and that preclude marriage at age 17.
• Philippines
29 Sep 08
There nothing wrong to marry at the age of 17, but they will be a parents consent.. As a friend, you friend will be happy to have you in the wedding to witness their celebration..
@tianli (311)
• China
29 Sep 08
She is a little young to get marrige, i think. but age is not the most important thing in marriage, if she meets her Mr.right , 17 years old is Ok . Maybe she will meet more troubles than others for she is young. best wishes to your friends.
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
29 Sep 08
support your friend she loves you if all in concern is ok with it why not let her marry if this what she wants to do.in some states she is grown and can marry without parent consent.
@psspurgeon1 (1109)
• United States
29 Sep 08
I got married just after I turned 18. I had my first baby at nineteen(was married before getting pregnant). We just celebrated our 7 year wedding anniversary last week. We have been together for 8.5 years. Still going strong. It is possible to do and keep going but it is very very hard. best of luck.
• United States
29 Sep 08
I think that 17 is old enough for getting married. People can find the one in less than a year.
• Philippines
29 Sep 08
hello manuel, i know what your sister felt right now. i am 19 years old and; last month ive plan to get married with my boyfriend that i really love. after how many days i realize if i get marry i cant enjoy my teenage life. if i were you, try to communicate with your sister tell her that life is not easy than she thinks,. because life is full of trials,.
@aminegtx (22)
• Morocco
28 Sep 08
my cousin olso got married at 17 years old and from my personal dedaction that she's fine in here opinion get married in early age give the advantage to be youg when your having children then you can play with them and understand them very well i now some ganna tell if the parent are old they can also but not as the same and for here i think 3 or 4 years old is enough to now a person not very very well but now the important now how he react is he loyal and thats what marriage is all about .
@Galena (9123)
28 Sep 08
at seventeen, I wouldn't say anyone is REALLY ready for that commitment. the relationship needs to be stable and established before entering marriage. but. as a witness, your role would be to sign a declaration that you had seen those two people are who they say they are, and that you witnessed them making those vows. so while you may not feel they are ready for marriage, as I wouldn't either, as a witness you are not being asked if you think it's right or wrong. just to confirm that it happened.
@eddie42 (270)
• United States
28 Sep 08
well its better to marry then do what you are doing in sin if she are parents are ok with the situation then it should be ok with you because you are the the best friend support her to do the right thing.she loves you and will support you.
@bamakelly (5194)
• United States
28 Sep 08
Wedding hands -  A photo of two hands of marriage.
I believe that seventeen is too young. I don't usually like to judge a person unless I know them personally. It would depend on the couple's maturity. There is already a high percentage of divorce. Keeping a marriage together is a job in itself sometimes. At the age of seventeen a person is still not quite an adult yet really ready to make adult decisions. I am forty years old and can't imagine being that young ready to take on mature obligations and duties. It is more of a time for fun as a teenager. I know there are teenage girls getting pregnant and it is such a push to grow up too young. I think your friend really needs to weigh her decision thoroughly before moving forward.
@DFrodeo06 (1325)
• United States
28 Sep 08
you can't really stop her you can voice you opinion but i bet she has made up her mid already and i don't think that will stop her. you need to be there for her though/ sometimes it does work out getting married so young and most of the times it doesn't let's home it does in your friends case
• United States
28 Sep 08
it's possible she's mature enough to be married but usually 17 year olds are too selfsih to share a life and decisions with somebody else.