Who do you believe when it comes down to your spouse or your family ?

Canada
September 28, 2008 9:27am CST
Who would you believe if your family and the person you loved differed on something ? Would you stand by the one you love because you believe him/her or would you side with your family because they are your family ?
5 people like this
15 responses
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
29 Sep 08
Oh, that is a big hard question to answer and some hope they never have to answer it. I have been in this situation before and either way you go someone is going to be pissed. It all depends on the situation and whether I think the person is in the right or not. I want to be behind my husband on most issues, but if I feel that they are in the wrong I am pulled in two different directions I want to be there but emotionally I might not be. I try to choose my husband though even if I don't partially agree with him.
1 person likes this
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
30 Sep 08
Hey thanks for the best response I really appreciate it alot.
• Canada
29 Sep 08
I know the feeling as well and it is hard when you have to choose who is telling you the truth . Thank you for your response :)
@rkrish (3003)
• India
29 Sep 08
I always try for a solution and normally i take feedback from both sides and i too have common phenomenon of living..so whomever is at fault i asked them to change themselves in future and afterall we are here to live not to fight each other, so solution is better way..if it goes or prolongs big i call it as a day and make them to stop arguing saying both are right in their views and bad in common views of living.
1 person likes this
• Canada
29 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
• Canada
29 Sep 08
It woudl depend on what each was saying cause for some things I would believe my boyfriend cause why would he lie to me but for some things I would believe my family cause why would they lie to too. It would be hard to decide but I would prob stay with my boyfriend if I had to choose between the tow of them.
1 person likes this
• Canada
29 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
@cdparazo (5765)
• Philippines
29 Sep 08
If it pertains to my husband, then I would stand by my husband. However, it doesn't mean that I would also abandon my family. I would exert everything that is in my power to do for them to somehow make a compromise. For sure, I would never allow the differences to become a full blown rift. They could always agree to disagree without being disagreeable. It's what being family is for.
• Canada
29 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
@Feona1962 (7526)
• United States
29 Sep 08
Hi sam.. Knowing my family and depending on who I talk to their are only a couple that I would believe..Most of them Lied to me all my young life and do continue today so those ones I don't trust... My husband comes first..because he is the one that is always there for me...we have been together for 25 years and we are very close...
1 person likes this
• Canada
29 Sep 08
I know the feeling :) Thank you for your response .
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
29 Sep 08
to me this where it bites being honest like myself, it's whoever is right not just because,, they all know this about me.. even had some tested this about me.
1 person likes this
• Canada
29 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
• Canada
19 Nov 09
If they had me stuck in the middle and were trying to force me to make a decision, I would not believe either of them. If my spouse said the sky was purple, and my mother said it was blue, I'd believe my mother. However if my mother (or any other family member told me that pigs flew, and my spouse said they did not, I would believe him. the way I see it, it depends on the situation I am in. If they were against eachother in something, that would depend on the situation. I'd have to look at the individual, and the situation, before making a decision. HOWEVER my husband and I are very well alligned, and are united on almost everything, so I'd likely believe him first, but again, if something were to drastically change, I would not stick with someone just BECAUSE of who they were to me. Bottom line, my spouse and my family don't have certain rights to tell me whatever they want, just because of our relation, just as I don't have the right to take advantage of them either, if that makes sense.. If they had me stuck in the middle and were trying to force me to make a decision, I would not believe either of them. If my spouse said the sky was purple, and my mother said it was blue, I'd believe my mother. However if my mother (or any other family member told me that pigs flew, and my spouse said they did not, I would believe him. the way I see it, it depends on the situation I am in. If they were against eachother in something, that would depend on the situation. I'd have to look at the individual, and the situation, before making a decision. HOWEVER my husband and I are very well alligned, and are united on almost everything, so I'd likely believe him first, but again, if something were to drastically change, I would not stick with someone just BECAUSE of who they were to me. Bottom line, my spouse and my family don't have certain rights to tell me whatever they want, just because of our relation, just as I don't have the right to take advantage of them either, if that makes sense..
@jillmalitz (5131)
• United States
29 Sep 08
It would depend on the situation. If family knew something was wrong and had proof I guess I would have to study it and decide. If it was something else I would probably side with my spouse because we are partners over and above the rest of the family.
@checapricorn (16061)
• United States
28 Sep 08
[i]Hi sam, I will listen to both sides and evaluate which is great and real and will explain to other party why I am believing the other one! ANyway, I haven't experienced this situation yet!But, I know it's not hard to do it especially when all of them are open-minded![/i]
1 person likes this
• Canada
29 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
• United States
28 Sep 08
This is a very easy one for me,My husband! Unfortunatly, my family are not very trustworthy.With my mother even I had experiences with her where shes lied to me not to mention even stole from me! I have never found my husband to be deceitful in anyway, therefore I trust him with all my heart. I usually give most people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to trust but if I catch them lying to me, the trust is gone.
• Canada
28 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
28 Sep 08
It would be my spouse.. But at times, I have sided with my own family over my spouse.. But if they know the truth, and have the evidence to prove it, then I will believe them over my spouse.. In different cases, it can both ways.
1 person likes this
• Canada
28 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
28 Sep 08
my sons, don't have a spouse.i would stand beside them because i love them, dearly no matter what.
1 person likes this
• Canada
29 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
@seeths (413)
28 Sep 08
This really depends on the situation on what we are heading too and if I feel my parents are wron then I make sure that I support mty husband and If i feel he is wrong and Then I make him understand the situation tell my parents about his views so that they dont get any misunderstanding.Actually it is a very tough situation as we love both of hem a lot as they have done so much for us.I hope I am right. Regards
• Canada
28 Sep 08
It really is hard to choose between the two because you love and care for both and don't want to believe that one is lying to us . Thank you for your response .
@shoeb000 (321)
• India
28 Sep 08
it depends on the fact the matter in which they are differing... one of them might be right and another will be wrong, so its our duty to recognize whats right and whats wrong, adn have to make them understand about that. its very difficult to say, whose side i will join, because one side [my family] has spent whole life in taking care of me, and whatever i am today i because of their contribution... another side is one [spouse], who has left his family and everyone who was her relative, and have came to my home..just because of me, and with confident that i will take care of her.
• Canada
29 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
@34momma (13882)
• United States
29 Sep 08
it would depend on the situation. my spouse is my family too. right and wrong is not the same as stating facts. perception is so many shades of gray. it would depend on what the situation is.