Big Problem and Dont Know How to Fix it

United States
September 29, 2008 3:49pm CST
Ok, right now my husband and I are staying with his grandparents. They raised him from the time he was a few weeks old, but that is not what I have a problem with. My husband and I have an 8 month old little boy. I am having a hard time with his gma. She tells me what to do with my son and how to do it. I am afraid to say anything for fear she will get mad. My husband never really says anything just because I dont think he really knows how bad it bugs me. I have told him before, but I still dont think he understands. I need to find a way to let his family know that he is our son and we are supposed to raise him how we see fit. Today my husband and I were going away for a few days and she told me that I was to bring my son back to her house tomorrow. I told her that we'd be back Wednesday and so would our son. I dont want to hurt her, but she needs to know that we will raise our son not her.
1 person likes this
3 responses
@mojcica (1512)
• Slovenia
29 Sep 08
Its a tough one. But the best thing to do is talk to her. Calm down, relax and just try to have a calm conversation with her. Prepare yourself...what you need to say and say it. Nicely but like you mean it. Its going to come out sooner or later...and telling her nicely is much better then just snapping one time you have enough. Good luck!
• United States
2 Oct 08
Yeah that is true, I've snapped on her before and it was a big fight. It was like Royal Rumble!
@mojcica (1512)
• Slovenia
2 Oct 08
Im sorry to hear that. But this is what happens if we keep anger inside. I do it too until I have enough and then just go crazy telling things i wouldnt tell otherwise. We have a strange nature..we human I mean hehe.
• United States
30 Sep 08
I was in that same situation and finally i jsut got to the point where i sat everyone done and let them know look i dont mean to sound rude and i dont mean to hurt anyones feelings or make anyone mad but this is our child and we will raise him not you or anyone else i hope you understand that and can respect my wishs to let us raise our child and i think that was the last time i had that problem. You got to speak up if she gets mad she'll get over it just like anyone else does. But there has to be set rules to a parenting process between the two. SO id jsut them know how its going to work but i mean you can be nice. Im not exactly the nice person when it comes to someone telling me how to raise my child it dont go over well with me.
• United States
2 Oct 08
I try to be nice and everything, but it can be really hard sometimes.
@jillbeth (2711)
• United States
29 Sep 08
You may have to just tell the gma how you feel yourself, if hubby won't step in! Politely, of course. She may still get angry, but he is your son, after all, and have the right to make your own decisions regarding him. Tell her you appreciate her concern, but you will raise him the way you see fit, thank you! Don't follow her advice or demands just to keep her from becoming upset with you. Although if the advice isn't unreasonable, it wouldn't hurt to humor her once in a while. I would assume the grandparents are fairly old, so they won't be around forever...
• United States
2 Oct 08
I see what you mean and yeah they are a bit older. I feel bad because I know she loves my son and wants the best for him, but telling other people that I do not know how to raise my child is not fair. I may only be 20, but when I was 9 I started taking on the responsibility of rasing my younger sister. lol