What would you choose? The person you love or the person who loves you?

@meticulo (1286)
United States
September 30, 2008 10:43am CST
It is said that for a relationship to work out it takes both partners to do their own fair share. They should work hand in hand to make everything as smooth going as possible. But what if one has been broke and cheated? And a sincere man just stand along all the while. Would you settle for the one you love most but hurt you or would you choose the one who loves you trully?
3 people like this
9 responses
• United States
30 Sep 08
This is a very difficult question. I would want to chose the one who I loved, but I am a big trust person so that would cause some conflict. Luckily I have never been in this situation because I would go crazy over trying to decide which road to take. It's always so sad when the person that you loved with your whole heart and trusted with everything you have hurts you and stabs you in the back. I would also be afraid of hurt the sincere one who loved me and was honest and true... Let's just hope I never have to deal with this because I would definitely go insane trying to figure this out!
1 person likes this
@meticulo (1286)
• United States
1 Oct 08
If you choose the one you love, you should be ready to deal with the situation. Yes, it is very difficult. But who knows he might change in the future? But still you have to take the risk first. Of course, I wish you well and that you will not reach a point wherein you have to choose between the one you love or the one who loves you.
@amlegend (945)
• Pakistan
30 Sep 08
simple the person who loves me because she would have understood me more better and would have thought before hand to either love me (in this case) or not and then seen that the person that i love has no respect to the feelings i have i would assume that that person won't understand me and i am wasting my time and being bias to the person that loves and truly cares for me. so, way to go ...
1 person likes this
@meticulo (1286)
• United States
1 Oct 08
Thanks for your reply Amlegend! It's really a waste of time loving a person who only make you cry. I guess it's better to choose the one who loves us. As what others say that love can be learned, so perhaps it will still have a happy ending.
@silverglint (2000)
• Philippines
17 Oct 08
I would choose the one who loves me. Its because I know that I am a decent person and I will not take advantage of the guy just because he loves me. Unlike if I choose the one I love but doesn't love me or cheats on me then I will only allow him to hurt me more and more. Besides, if someone showers you with love and affection, won't you eventually fall in love with him also?
@meticulo (1286)
• United States
17 Oct 08
Some say love can be learned. Maybe that is if you allow yourself to fall in love with him. And you're right, how can one reject a person if he showers you all his love. Isn't it nice to love him back the way he loves you? I think this relationship will succeed eventually if both will cooperate and try learning to really make the relationship work out. Thanks for sharing your point of view silverglint!
@meticulo (1286)
• United States
17 Oct 08
Yes that's true anbu! Thanks for sharing your side. happy mylotting!
• India
17 Oct 08
i would choose the person who loves me.because that person really wont expect from me anything and take care of me too.Its simple if anyone shows affection on us,will anyone say no to them?this same logic works here also
@gegegelay (933)
• Philippines
17 Oct 08
It's hard to earn someone's love. And for a person to love me back, it must mean that the person truly cares, compared to the person that I love but don't even truly love me and just hurts me. In return, I know I'll be able to learn how to love the person who loves me back. His efforts, his care and his commitment is enough for me to love him in return.
@meticulo (1286)
• United States
17 Oct 08
You have a point there gegegelay! I guess it's not worth to hope and wait for the person you love but don't love you back. It's sad when he keeps on hurting you. Whereas, if you choose the one who loves you. Yes, you are right maybe you will learn to love him back. But just make sure that you really fall in love with him then if you accept him. Because if it will still be one-sided and he will just be taken for granted, it will not work out and you will just hurt him in the end. Thanks for replying!
@potrish78 (742)
• Philippines
10 Oct 08
I would not even choose at that particular moment. I would let myself heal my broken heart before I would enter another relationship. I would have to pick up the broken pieces of my heart first in order for me to love again. It would be unfair for the one who has been waiting for me all the while. Cuz if I would accept his love, not only that I would be deceiving him but I would be deceiving myself as well.
@meticulo (1286)
• United States
12 Oct 08
That's a very wise and safe decision potrish! Thanks for responding!
@cutleave (45)
• Thailand
12 Oct 08
This is the very good and not really hard question but not easy to answer well i will choose the person who love me because he will care and love me more than i doo. if i choose the one i love might hurt me well i am very sensitive girl i don't have to worry about this matter because i am already in love and the special thing is he also love mee more than i doo here i have to be strong to fight for my love please pray for mee and for my lover
@meticulo (1286)
• United States
13 Oct 08
Thanks for your comment cutleave. I am glad that you have found your love and the one that loves you, in this way you don't have to worry about this topic. Stay in love. I pray for both of you! Happy mylotting!
• Thailand
13 Oct 08
Thank you very very very very much meticulo, I really need god help but they are not listening...... i have full faith in god.. I cannot live without my lover please pray for me they all say love is blind and now i understand why they say like this now i become totally blind, i just want him well i also wish you happy life and just happy happy life!!!! have a god day!!!!!!
7 Oct 08
In every relationship there is the person who loves, and the person who is loved. The role which is better for you is dependent on your own personality. For example, a shy and insecure person might not feel comfortable being the one who is placed on a pedestal and adored, because she feels like she is not worthy of it, and that there must be something wrong with the judgement of anyone who would treat her like that. So she might end up sabotaging the relationship and treating her lover badly, because she would prefer to be with someone who agreed with her own low estimation of herself. Really we should all strive to be the happy confident person who believes that they are worthy of being adored, and not the helpless victim who worships them. But then, if everyone was the one who was loved, who would be left to give them love? When you are choosing a life partner, it is not just about who can make you happy. It is about whether you can make THEM happy. If you settle for someone you do not truly love and respect, they might be happy in the short term, but in the long term you will grow to despise them and make them miserable. It is the same if somebody does not truly love and respect you, you can never force them to feel the same way about you and it will only lead to frustration on your part and possibly guilt on theirs. Perhaps we are all better off learning to love ourselves first, and then if anyone else comes along it is a bonus!
@meticulo (1286)
• United States
8 Oct 08
You have a point there marmalaide. Either way, it's still better to love and be loved. I guess a relationship will not work well if it is one sided. But I guess the best thing to do is to forget about it for the moment. Focus in anything worth enjoyable. You're right, we should learn to love ourselves first. When the right guy comes in the right time that we are not force to choose who's who to love, then it's probably a blessing from above. Thanks for sharing your opinion! Happy mylotting!
@yuna15 (2706)
• Philippines
8 Oct 08
I would choose neither of them because if it wouldn't be fair for the other person if I choose him right after a heartache. I would let the other person prove himself first as a close friend. As soon as the feeling subsides or if there is anything that triggered the feeling to subside then I would definitely give the other guy a chance. It's easy to love somebody who cares and understands you rather to the person who never gives a damn for your feelings.
@meticulo (1286)
• United States
17 Oct 08
You made a very wise decision yuna. It's good to let the other guy prove himself first if he is really sincere with his intentions. It may not be fine to accept him right away as well after a heart break because he might just be taken as a front. So maybe if he can wait, I know no girl will ever be hard as a stone not to accept him. Thanks for sharing your point of view! happy mylotting!
@Zephier (73)
• United States
1 Oct 08
The smart thing would be to choose the one who loves you. If someone hurt you then there is no reason to love them. Love only belongs to those most deserving of it. Especially when they are willing to return it the most.
@meticulo (1286)
• United States
1 Oct 08
Chosing the one who loves you! Yes that will be the smartest, wisest thing to do. And actually the safest. Because no doubt he will not hurt you. He will try his very best to make you happy. He would do all the things you wanted him to do. Just don't abuse his love. They said that love can be learn, so that who knows you will eventually fall in love with him. So, that would be very exciting!