To All SAHM: Do You Still Have Time For Yourself?

@eihdra (3116)
Philippines
September 30, 2008 2:55pm CST
Do you have time to fix yourself before your hubby comes home? Or you don't care if he sees you still wearing the same clothes you're wearing when he left the house? Do you have time to pamper yourself, even for just a day? With all the household chores that needs to be done and kids and husbands to attend to, we sometimes forget about ourselves..Even just to comb your hair, to at least look presentable.. Some would not even have time to look at themselves in the mirror.. Wouldn't it be nice, if at least one to two hours a day, we could just sit back or tend to ourselves? And that's without any disturbance of any sort...
3 people like this
23 responses
@cream97 (29169)
• United States
30 Sep 08
If, I do have time, it is when the kids are off to bed for the night.. I try to fix myself up, sometimes, when he is not home.. If, I look fine when he left, I will look the same when he comes back. But, I do try to at least take a shower and freshen up or so. I do want to look presentable when he comes home..
2 people like this
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
24 Oct 08
That's the time I have for myself too...when the kids are already fast asleep... and this is the only time I get to go online, a few hours before my husband is home..thanks..
@checapricorn (16069)
• United States
18 Nov 08
[i]Hi eihdra, I have no kids so I have plenty of time for this this time that I am still looking for a job, but there are days also that I will be running out of time to fix myself because of the online stuffs I am doing![/i]
1 person likes this
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
18 Nov 08
hi, che.. Guess you have forgotten that you have already responded to this discussion because it is only now that I had the time to comment...Sorry for the late response...
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Nov 08
hahahhaa....Thanks for that eihdra, I forgot really and been inactive for the past 2 months and when I saw the post, I was attracted to respond! LOL!
@ms1323 (259)
• United States
30 Sep 08
I have been a sahm for 5 years. It was fine when it was just my oldest, 8 yrs old, but now I have a 3 & 2 yr old as well....now nothing is mine! Those two are at my feet from 7a until bedtime - which is too late for my tastes! By the time they do go to bed I'm just too tired to care about anything so I don't consider this "me time." I'm not even entirely sure I know just who I am anymore..me..not mommy or wifey, but ME. This may be wrong, or bad; but I really could care less what I look like when my husband gets home. He should just be happy that I have taken care of his kids all day long, cleaned his house and made his dinner!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
1 Oct 08
I agree one hundred percent on this. I am a SAHM like you, with two toddlers. My husband should be happy enough to come home on a clean house and healthy kids, and a hot meal. As long as i am clean and don't smell, that should do. Indeed, there is no "me time" in this kind of time.
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
24 Oct 08
I agree with you both..!! All husbands should really appreciate what we are doing and not ask for more than what we can't do anymore because we're so dog tired of all the chores we have done for the day.. BUT THEN, come to think of it..Some of these men would even have the guts to have extra marital affairs and their main reason is because "the wifey", no longer interests him, juz because "she doesn't look as good as when I first met her".. So, maybe, just so, he won't stray, we should really find some time for ourselves and make "ME" even more delightful in our man's eyes...
1 person likes this
@heaven11 (1161)
• United States
3 Oct 08
Hi eihdra I am a full time stay at home mom and I rarely get time for myself my husdband works all the time and when he cames home hes ready for be(3rd shift) so the times I wish I had my alone time would be while shopping or a dr's appt. ect but I rarely get that My alone time seems to be at night when theyve gone to bed thats when I take my bath catch up my soaps and other shows and last but not least ebjoy mylot.
1 person likes this
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
18 Nov 08
hey, heaven.. Let the husband sleep, so you will have your time to relax....thanks...
• United States
1 Oct 08
No, I never have and probably never will fix myself up before the hubby comes home because he wouldn't do the same for me!..LOL.. But I do take a little bit of time out daily to try and make myself look pretty or presentable. Sometimes it's hard though especially when I'm running around doing some quick cleaning around the house before company walks threw the door or when I'm tending to my son's needs all the time. I do make somewhat of a beauty night for me once a week where I groom my eyebrows,give myself a facial etc.. But sometimes it's hard to even do that because I'm too tired to mess with it or I'm really busy doing other things.
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
18 Nov 08
hi.. At least you have some beauty rituals even for just once a week.. We Moms need that...hope we could all get some time for ourselves....thanks...
@rowantree (1190)
• United States
1 Oct 08
I'm a SAHM but I certainly don't look like the mom in the Dove commercial (either before or after, lol). I get up early so I can take a shower, do my hair and makeup, before waking the kids up for school. So while I look presentable, I wouldn't say I look fabulous. One of these days I'm going to go to Sephora and get a makeover in the hopes that they'll teach me how to look better with makeup on.
1 person likes this
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
18 Nov 08
oh but am sure you're also beautiful in your own way.. thanks..
@lkoenig07 (289)
• United States
1 Oct 08
I am a SAHM & I have time to myself (for now). My twins are only 7 months. Sometimes I just feel like not doing anything though, so I don't get dressed or anything. My mom's been great & she watches the kids for me pretty much whenever I want to go do something without bringing them (so time consuming), or if my hubby & I just want to go out.
1 person likes this
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
18 Nov 08
hi, you're so lucky to have your mom to watch over the twins...thanks...
@checapricorn (16069)
• United States
1 Oct 08
[i]Hi eihdra, I don't have kids yet but honestly, working online will really consume my time..LOL! and I have no reasons not to look good and smell good before hubby arrives..lOL! SO, I always find time to do it 30 minutes before he will be home..LOL! I have all my time in the house for the chores and my online stuff! I remember my Mom before, she always make herself neat and clean even having 2 kids and with all the household chores! She inspires me a lot! LOL! and it's nice to talk to her about this topic every now and then! LOL![/i]
1 person likes this
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
18 Nov 08
hi, che..hope the inspiration continues when you have your own kids already ...thanks...
@my2boys (821)
• United States
1 Oct 08
I do not have too much time for myself. I sneak a few minutes here ans ther but that is about it. I sont care if my husband sees me in the same clothes or not. He knows that I am busy with the kids. I do try to look nice when we go out but if i am just sitting at home the last thing i am worried about is how i look. I am too worried about taking care of the kids and the house.
1 person likes this
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
18 Nov 08
hi.. and im sure your husband greatly appreciates the effort and loves you for that...Thanks..
@mona269 (133)
• Philippines
1 Oct 08
tough as it is to be a SAHM, i try to give myself that time to be alone with my thoughts before i go to bed everyday. even just an hour to do whatever it is that i want to do like read a book or surf the net or just plain think. as for the pampering part... oh well with the crisis and all it's getting tougher and tougher to scrimp up extra cash for a quick trip to the spa or the salon or even to have a massage at home so that is one thing that would have to take a backseat for a while for me.
1 person likes this
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
18 Nov 08
hi, mona.. Happy to know that with all the housework you're doing everyday, you can still do those things before going to bed..You're not beat up yet and so sleepy and tired.. Me, I sometimes, have to sleep wee hours so I can go online, that is, if Im not dog tired yet.. Thanks...
• United States
1 Oct 08
I have tried and tried to take more time for me. Now I get up when my hubby leaves for worka and I take time for me then. It is only 40 minutes until I have to get the kids up and going for school and the day but it helps. I make it an issue to get up and dressed first thing. Atleast I have done that for the day. In two years my youngest will go off to school and I will have a half day for me, who knows what I can do then.
1 person likes this
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
18 Nov 08
well, 40 mins is fair enough..At least, you have that few minutes all to yourself...Thanks..
• Philippines
1 Oct 08
the only time i get to have for myself is if when my partner goes to work or when he is asleep. i wish i could have much time i had when i was still single. i miss going to the spa and getting my nails done..
1 person likes this
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
18 Nov 08
hmmm....that's also the things I miss...
• Philippines
1 Oct 08
I do not have time to fix myself before my husband comes home. I am too busy with house work and tending my two little boys to pamper myself. I have actually forgotten myself, who i am and who i used to be. Self-pampering used to be a normal part of my life before we moved to his country, but now it sounds as foreign as the place i am living. It would be bliss if i could have even only two hours a day of peace and quiet (and everything already clean and organized)- for luxurious bath, mirror time, then a good read and a good drink on a comfy couch (and with some assurance that my kids are close by, happy and safe.) I wish...
1 person likes this
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
18 Nov 08
hi, pinky...Maybe hubby could give you a day off or something, so you could at least get to know yourself again..you know, go to a salon or spa... WHen my husband is on a day off, he takes care of the kids and the household chores for even just 2 separate days in a month. So, i could go have my quiet time or just do what I wanna do...
@anne12d (676)
• Philippines
1 Oct 08
I'm not married and I dont have a child but having to work 8 hours a day in different working schedule, sometimes I dont have time to fix myself. Before going to work, sure I can fix a bit but during my work, I can't retouch myself even go to the ladies room because of toxic work at the hospital and sometimes there are lots of scheduled surgery and non stop delivering of babies. LOL... but its ok... when I went home I pamper myself by showering and just combing my hair before going to sleep.
1 person likes this
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
18 Nov 08
hi, ann.. just dont forget to take a leak from time to time or you'll find yourself in the same hospital but under different circumstances...thanks...
@aseretdd (13709)
• Philippines
1 Oct 08
I am a working mother... so i need to take time to fix myself for work... and my husband is working abroad... so i don't really need to look that presentable at home... since there is only me and my daughter... and i feel that my 2 year old wouldn't mind if my hair is all messy...
1 person likes this
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
18 Nov 08
hi..At least you get to "breathe the air outside"... you dont get to work all day at home....But am sure your daughter wouldnt' mind....thanks...
@dhangski (3194)
• Philippines
1 Oct 08
I usually find some time for my self. My husband is working outside the country right now so whenever it's time for us to talk on the net, I make sure that I look good infront of the cam. Whenever my kids are at school I take a little rest after I'm done with my chores here. My rest usually is doing my internet stuffs and sometimes I take a nap. I believe that even you are a stay at home mom, you should find time to relax and to take care of yourself. HUGZ!
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
18 Nov 08
hey, at least your hubby wont be able to smell you if you havent taken your shower yet .. Me, It's a must to fix myself before hubby arrives or else..... thanks, dhang
• United States
1 Oct 08
I do what I can. I usually at least try to get into different clothes, not always the nicest, but something different then what I had on when he left. I rarely fix my hair anymore, it's always pulled back and very rarely wear make-up. I would love to be able to take that time to fix myself up like I used to...and not worry about someone touching the hot flat iron, or getting into my lipstick or eyeshadow.
1 person likes this
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
24 Oct 08
my hair is always pulled up also and sometimes when I pass by the mirror, I thought I saw somebody else..that's because, I used to take good care of my hair..and now, there's no choice but to wear it up because that's the fastest way to do it because the chores are waiting.. thanks...
@Ithink (10250)
• United States
1 Oct 08
On the average day Im up at 6 getting kids off to school and then the babies wake up and it is full tilt til night time! Night time is normally around 8:30 - 9:00 PM and like I read here Im too tired to even want to do anything, thou I still do. At this time there is dishes to be done, clothes to fold still and floors to sweep. So normally I would say no there is no time for anything other then taking care of the house and such. Thank goodness I have a hubby that knows what I do to make it possible for him to come home to a clean house with happy kids (for the most part.. lol) and supper being made! Now thou come to October and I do get about 3 hours on Saturdays without kids, well for the most part. I play on a pool league and my daughter plays on my team too. She is an adult on her own thou so it isnt like having a kid, Hmmmm thou I still hear the word mom .. lol Funny thing is Id rather have those hours while I was at home most of the time. I love pool and getting out but there is always so much to do with a large family. I do believe that the stay at home parent needs to find something that is theirs. You can get lost and not know who you are and it is hard to find yourself again. Im still working on that.
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
24 Oct 08
wow..I wonder what time you go to sleep...you must be sooo tired..But at least, you get some free time on saturdays..Maybe you could try and enjoy your free time and not think of the chores you have left at home...although I know that you wont be able to forget about it, coz you know that when you get back, there will be plenty of things to do and back to the old routine again....
• United States
30 Sep 08
That would be divine! I used to have hours of free time before my little girl was born. And, yes, I did have beauty and pampering days, then. I spent so much money on personal care and face products and enjoyed my prebaby days, completely! Looking back on it now, I wish that I'd saved more of that money. I could have bought a new crib every month with the amount of money I was spending on myself. Right now, I'm not so focused on self pampering. And, the money goes into caring for my child. But, I do love taking hot tub baths. They're so decadent and make me feel pampered. Sometimes, I go all out and give myself a nice foot rub. On most days, a hot shower is about as much self pampering as I get! So, much for beauty days.
1 person likes this
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
24 Oct 08
I was like you when I was still single and doesn't have a baby yet..But it's not that i regret having my kids, but I so much would wanna go to a spa..but of course, I would be so guilty, so i'd rather not spend the money ..thanks...
• United States
30 Sep 08
i am not a full-fledged sahm, although for the most part i feel as though i am. i only work part-time, and that is only 4 nights out of the week. so i am home every single day with my boys. and yes, it is hard to find time for myself. lately it seems as though the only time i do have for myself is when i go to work. my husband does try to give me a break, especially if he can tell that i need it. he will come home from work and take the boys out for a while, which is nice. on the days that i don't have to work at night, i do at least shower and fix myself up. there are a couple times when i don't- i am just too busy with the housework and kids. but for the most part i want to look nice for myself, and for my hubby.
1 person likes this
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
24 Oct 08
hey, at least your hubby helps out from time to time...It's nice to know that some husbands can sense when the wives are on the verge of losing their wits....thanks..