Once an enemy, always an enemy?

Philippines
October 1, 2008 3:50am CST
Do you think this true? I personally hate having enemies and prefer having smooth relationships with people. Although I get into frays with others, what's good is after a fight or an argument, we become closer because of it. I don't if that's the case for others. I don't have sworn enemies. I am able to forgive and even if the other person doesn't become a real friend, at least I can still talk to them in a civilized manner. So do you think that once you've made an enemy, it's an eternal thing?
3 people like this
19 responses
@chabawel (330)
• Philippines
1 Oct 08
I also don't like having enemies. But once I have misunderstanding with somebody of no fault of mine, and the other person already asked forgiveness from me, I already chose to have a barrier between us. I rather not spend most of my time with that person anymore so as not to have another misunderstanding. To me, once my trust and respect for the person has been tainted, its hard for me to even bring back the friendship because I will always be on the look out of being hurt all over again.
2 people like this
• Philippines
2 Oct 08
I hear you chabawel. I know there are a lot of people who find it hard to bring back a broken friendship. Can't blame you since it's really hard to trust people.
1 person likes this
@pinks17 (2192)
• Philippines
1 Oct 08
[i]I actually don't like to have enemies.I am always mistaken as a snobbish,not that easy to get along with but when I flash a smile that changes everything.People misjudge me,probably bec. of my left eyebrow that's always sky high..it's normal.lol.I am super friendly simply because I want all the people around me are happy all the time.But I have a soft heart. For instance the new wife of my ex-hubby.I considered her as my best enemy.lol.But after 2years when my first marriage got annulled.I made the first move.I befriend her not bec.I am just being plastic but bec.I don't want to have an enemy and for me it is not healthy.Weird right?I even congratulated her when she delivered her 3rd baby.The first 2 pregnancies are not successful.I was so excited to know how was the labor and if the baby is fine.So enemies can still be friends.It's not healthy to hate a person for the rest of your life.hehe [/i]
2 people like this
• Philippines
2 Oct 08
Hi sis. Thanks for sharing. I guess in a way, we have the same outlook in life. I actually am okay with my fiance's ex girlfriend. We had a really bad fight years ago and I had to stop her from creating more problems for me and my fiance then. Regardless of the things she said and the lies she did to protect her image, I still forgave her and have settled on being casual friends. We still say hi to each other and would text once in a while to see how things are. It's better constantly hating a person.
1 person likes this
@deserve40 (1643)
• India
1 Oct 08
It depends on the reason why I have made that enemy. If it is because of some bad manner or bad behaviour or some minor reason, then I do not mind making that person my friend in future. It is because the bad behaviour of a person is not permanent problem. However, if I have felt that the person's nature is not good and he is trying to do some harm to me, then the person becomes my enemy forever. He is not going to change forever if it is his nature.
2 people like this
• Philippines
2 Oct 08
Hi Deserve... Yes, I do agree with you. If I see that someone is willing to change, then there might be a chance that we can still remain as friends. If the person doesn't change, I won't hate them but I won't want them to be in my life anymore.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32270)
• United States
1 Oct 08
The only enemies I've ever had were once my friends. I had a friend in school, and to be honest, she was only an enemy because she was a leech, and even though that doesn't (or shouldn't) seem so bad, it was. She would copy something I did and take the credit for it, it made me feel as if she was popular (or more) only because of my own ideas. She also liked to hit me. We were on again off again friends. I ended up working with her later, and well it wasn't really all that bad. Not too long ago, I started becoming "enemies" so to speak with a group of my friends because they never called me, and well I started to realize that they only wanted to be my friend for the money, or so it seemed. I moved to a different county (in with my fiance) so that I could be close to my fiance and I quit my job. They didn't so much like that I assume, as everytime we started to hang out, someone didn't show so we rescheduled, and then one time when we were actually going to hang we (my fiance and the friends I made because of him) got there, and the person who's house we went to wouldn't let us in, one wasn't going to show, another would be an hour late, so we left. Anyway, that's all beside the point I suppose. I can't say that everyone always keeps the same enemy, but I know in this case, I won't be talking to those people again.
2 people like this
• Philippines
1 Oct 08
Hi somecowgirl... Well. You have reason to not talk to them. It seems that they weren't really friends in the first place. In cases like that, I don't exactly think of them as "enemies". Like I mentioned earlier, it's too strong of a word for me. I don't hate people like that but they don't become my friend... nor do I allow them to get too close. Not unless I see that they're really apologetic with what they've done or are doing things to patch things up.
1 person likes this
• India
1 Oct 08
I think it for works different for me, once an enemy, always an enemy, i dont like the idea of patching up with a person whom you hate
2 people like this
• Philippines
1 Oct 08
Thanks for the response. Yes, it works differently for people. Once a person becomes an enemy for you, will you be able to forgive him/her?
1 person likes this
• Australia
1 Oct 08
lol, every time i get an enemie, they soon become my friend, it might be 1 week later or 1 year later but for me every time i confront my enemie tings turn out for the best. this doesnt happen too often tought i am not much of an enemy, but i know people who are and i would hate to be them. its not fun to have enemies, but if you confront them, and things couldnt be any worse, then you have nothing to loose. usually, after i have become friends with enemies, we think of the fight we had as something all friends edure. happy mylotting!
2 people like this
• Philippines
1 Oct 08
Thanks for the comment. Lol. I have some former enemies who have become good friends. I believe the word "enemy" is too strong for me. I forgive people who do me wrong and if I don't want them to be in my life anymore, I'll just make it a point that I don't mingle with them anymore.
1 person likes this
@joehnyn (11)
• Malaysia
1 Oct 08
I don't have a lot of enemy.. but in my opinion Isn't easy for us to get a real frenz that can laugh when we are happy and cry when we are sad.. BTW we must being a forgiveness..whats I mean is we should able to forgive all person who make us mad.. Forgiving people is harder than apologizing.. FrEns can't be buy or sell...
2 people like this
@Margarit (3677)
• Philippines
1 Oct 08
I dont think i have enemies for i cant sleep well and act well if i have. Everytime that i have misunderstanding with my friends and my family i am always the one who ask sorry even if it is not my fault. It only last for only few minutes then i say sorry to them with sencerity ofcourse if ever i hurt them or if i something something wrong. I believe we should learn how to hamble ourself for no one is perfert. Happy posting.
1 person likes this
@Feiyel (56)
• China
1 Oct 08
If the them will be forever enemy is largely dicide by the themselves. If they would like to forgive each other,of course they will no longer enemies,sometimes their relationship maybe even more intimately,because their is nothing unsolve between them. And to the other side,If they couldn't forgive each other,and even they would not to settle down the problem. As time goes on,someone will forget it and forgive,too.And they are not enemies.too. But some people have strong retaliatory thought,may let the problem more seriously. And maybe they will the forever enemies unluckly.
@kissie34 (2296)
• Philippines
2 Oct 08
Well, I don't really believe that once an enemy, always an enemy.. Sometimes, our mortal enemy can be our best or closest friend.. I know that it is possible for as long as we will be open minded and also be open arms to forgive and forget the past.. But if you believe this kind of belief then maybe it can be possible.. I believe that it is up to the person on how he/she wants to treat other people.. If he/she thinks that person is his/her mortal enemy or don't want to be friends with that person then it will not but if he/she allows to open his/her heart to anyone to come then there will be a chance of having a good relationship to others.. It is up to us on how we accept others to be part of our lives..
@lakantar (1575)
• Greece
2 Oct 08
Once an enemy, never a friend... I think that's better... Can't be enemies with someone like eternally but I don't think after a fight or something you can become friends later...
• China
2 Oct 08
I don't have enemy. why you have made that enemy? If you have the enemy,it's a bad thing.
@austere (2816)
• Philippines
2 Oct 08
like you, i cannot really make friends with somebody i am not friends with, but can treat that person in a civilized manner too!hehe i don't have somebody i hate so much too, but there are just a few people that i am not comfortable with..and i don't force myself to be friends with them, these people are those whom i know have done bad things to my friends, so i just make sure i don't interact with them, or just stay away with them..
• United States
2 Oct 08
I figure I'm not so perfect either, and try to look at the other person's point of view. Sometimes it's hard, but if I really forgive them in my heart, then I, myself, feel so much better. Anger and resentment take up way too much energy. Plus the fact that when you take the time to get to know someone, you find something you like about them if you look for it and end up, sometimes, making a good friend.
@burgos (2)
• Philippines
2 Oct 08
definitely not because i believe in total forgiveness...and i can't sleep soundly knowing somebody out there is feeling terrible against me i won't end the day of having unforgiveness in my heart and maybe the person you consider your enemy might be a big help in the future.....
@1hopefulman (32486)
• Canada
2 Oct 08
No, I think one can always patch things up. One sleeps better. On is happier. One lives longer.
• Egypt
2 Oct 08
most of my enemies " BTW..calling them enemies is very wrong..they are just people that annoyed you or bothered you before..they can't reach the level to be enemies as real eneimies will always be enimeis because they want you to fail.. " are now my best friends.. once an enemy , may be best friend later ;)
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
2 Oct 08
you know the saying keep your friend close but keep your ememy closer you don,t have to worry about your ememy it,s your friend you have to worry about.people have disputes all the time they can be worked out if you want it too they say when you don,t get a long with a person you and that person is a lot a like.
@checapricorn (16066)
• United States
1 Oct 08
[i]Hi rose, I have 2 former friends who I am not talking until this time and I do know how long this will last! We have a big issue and I felt cheated and betrayed, So, for me, living a life without them and without talking to them will be very peaceful for me..I forgive them but it's hard to forget! I always pray about this since I know it's not healthy but I guess it is more healthy to just be on this way instead of trying and pretending and hurting again![/i]