is it ok to date your friend ex boyfriend?

@annjilena (5620)
United States
October 2, 2008 11:09pm CST
it been three weeks they have broken up and now the best friend is dating her friend ex boyfriend how do this make you feel to know something like this can and do happen each and every day.
3 people like this
13 responses
@maxilimian (3099)
• Indonesia
3 Oct 08
There's should be no problems with that, only one things should be consider of doing this, the friendship will a little bit "shaking" but it should be just find if they really best friend, there's an excuse about this thing which happens if they breaking up because of his best friends annoying their relationship ... it was totally not acceptable ...
1 person likes this
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
3 Oct 08
she is with her ex boyfriend and still wants to be friends after she have betrayed her, is she crazy she wants nothing to do with this woman she no,s my deeps secerts we been friend for 10 years don,t that account for something.she have cried with me and been there when iam sad they had the nerve to invite me to dinner that is crazy i thought she loved me.
3 Oct 08
"All is fair in love an war" ...but three weeks seems a little soon to me. There are some unspoken "rules" amongst friends and I would think your friends should have talked to each other before doing anything they might regret.
1 person likes this
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
3 Oct 08
her friend told her all her secret about her in her boyfriends and now she want to be with him and she says it not her fault she can,t keep her man in checked.iam for myself a expression she never saw before did not no she was so selfish until now she say she is enlove with him.there is a line that should never be crossed amongest friends.
1 person likes this
@rainmark (4306)
3 Oct 08
For me, that's not really ok,they were best friends and how come she's gonna date her ex boyfriend? Im sure that the girls share something about her ex-bf to her bestfriend and it's nice to see that she's in that relationship, looks like she is waiting the time that her bestfriend the her boyfriend going to broke up so that she can be the next girlfriend, for me it's betrayal of friendship.
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
4 Oct 08
it,s a big betrayal of friendship to hurt her friend like that she just don,t care iam sure of that. but what go around comes around. do unto other as you have them do to you.
@rainmark (4306)
4 Oct 08
i do believe on that sayings. cheers!
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
3 Oct 08
cant say that it is right but I do know that my son and his x double dated
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
4 Oct 08
some times i think they be trying to make each other jealous when they do this that is just crazy.
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
4 Oct 08
he was best friends with the feller and later that feller married the x. Worked out ok fo rthem!
• United States
3 Oct 08
It seems to me that a friend would still have a hard time with their best friend dating their ex-boyfriend. To date without asking "permission" on some level seems to be threatening the friendship. But, there are other issues to think about as well. For example, why did friend A break up with the boyfriend? Friend B might be well served by considering that. If we have good friends. If we have sane friends. If we have friends who don't make ridiculously stupid choices.. then the Boyfriend-In-Question should be attractive to date. However, they still broke up so the question remains, why? Abusive, intolerant, has a wandering eye, flat-out unfaithful, a liar... any valid reason on the part of Friend A breaking up with Boyfriend would seem to be a good reason for Friend B not to date Boyfriend. Contrarywise, if Friend A broke up with Boyfriend for a poor reason, Friend A might still wish to consider dating Boyfriend. In that case, Friend B dating Boyfriend will cause some significant problems. It just seems to get all complicated and confusing real quick. I had a friend once who was considering breaking up with his girlfriend at the time. He asked if I would date her if she wasn't dating him anymore. I told him, "If you decide to break up with her, you are saying you don't want her. If you really don't want her, anyone can date her. However, I think dating her would be dicey to say the least. I don't think so."
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
4 Oct 08
my opinion is the friend is wrong why would she want something her friend has had. was she looking at him all the time can,t she find a man of her on.wether they are together are not this is not right at all she should have more respect for her friend then that.especially because they are friends a line have got to be drawn between friends. you can share all you want but this is to much.
• United States
6 Oct 08
Everyone is certainly welcome to their own opinion. The friend might choose to respect her friend and not date any ex-boyfriends. The friend might make other choices as well. Your opinion here seems to be overlooking a few details I feel are important. Was she looking at him all the time? Who can possibly know. If she was looking at her friends boyfriend all the time, then that would feel like a failure to respect her friend. But, thinking about it, failure to respect her friend would have been flirting with the boyfriend. If friend B decided not to act on her attraction, then she did show a degree of respect to friend A. Looking and touching are different matters. There are people who look all the time. If a guy has an attractive girl, he might like his buddies knowing what a hot little dish he's dating. He looks cool because he can get a girl like that and keep her. That might be something he likes. One of my friends has a crush on my wife. I don't mind that. I know he won't do anything. I know if he did anything, she wouldn't do anything. I'm not worried. It doesn't affect me unless I think someone's likely to go cheating on me. Can't she get a man of her own? Well, honestly, she is. Once friend A breaks up with her ex-boyfriend, friend B can date him. This might have ramifications for said friendship. However, since ex-boyfriend isn't dating anyone, then he can be the “man” of friend B, now. If she lands the deal and secures his interest, she now has a boyfriend.. a “man” of her own. Friend A might be jealous, but that's a different matter. “She should have more respect to her friend than that.” Ok, that's a different statement. If dating the ex-boyfriend would hurt friend A's feelings, then friend B would be ill-advised to do so. In my own personal life experience, I have admitted to such. Yet, there are all sorts of situations which might change the balance of friendship. If A was broken up with by the ex-boyfriend X, then it becomes hard to excuse. However, if X broke up with A because he caught A with Y, then all bets are off. Conversely, if A broke up with X because she caught X with C, then certainly B should respect that. Cheaters loose a lot of right have their feelings protected as far as I am concerned. And, I also believe, friends should have more respect for each other than to take this kind of situation personally. If it wasn't anything hot, heavy, and serious, one friend should allow another to date one of their exes. If you are not happy with a person, but your friend could be happy with them, then it would seem that a friend would be required to step out of the way. Burdens of friendship go both ways.
@fifileigh (3619)
• United States
3 Oct 08
i think if they already broke up, they can both date other people, whomever they are. if she broke them up is another story.
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
4 Oct 08
well she don,t seem to think so she is mad at her i think they should work it out but she don,t want to see her are talk to her so i can they i would think of the 10 years they have as friends they been through a lot.
@fifileigh (3619)
• United States
4 Oct 08
i think because she feels if she cant have him, then no one else should, especially someone she is very close to is now with a guy that didnt work out for her, and she needs time to get over the relationship and move on. just tell her it wasnt meant to be for her with him, and that she is too good for him. there is a better guy out there for her. and he deserves a trader like her friend. they belong with each other. maybe she can accept that and move on.
• Philippines
3 Oct 08
I don't think there is something wrong with that since the ex boyfriend is available. But if I were on the girl's shoes (who's now dating the ex), out of courtesy to my friend I would bring up the matter to her and ask her if it's ok for me to date her ex. Since we're friends I would expect that she'd tell me the truth. If she said yes, then there's no problem at all. On the other hand, if she said no then I would have to stop dating her ex since friendship is more important for me. 3 weeks is a short time so my guess my friend is still hurting. That's what I would do if I were the best friend. ;D
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
3 Oct 08
she is now hurting her wounds are still so fresh her friends flants it before her i never knew a person can hurt so bad she loved him so much and was hoping he be part of her future but looks like he will not be
• Philippines
3 Oct 08
I'm so sorry to hear that. But can't she talk to her friend about it? After all, they're best friends. Well, only time can heal the wounds. I hope things would work for the good of everyone.
• Philippines
9 Oct 08
I don't mind as long as they do it after our break up,and is not the cause of our break up either. Some says that bestfriends usually have the same taste and likes for almost everything,that's why it is understood that it happens all the time hahaha.
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
9 Oct 08
you can have the same taste but too want to share the same man is not kool something is off limits to your friend it,s called respect your friend has a man and he is for her not her friend.
@Lee_Rites (845)
• United States
3 Oct 08
It would definitely be a quick way to lose a friend. Friends should have a little more respect for each other.
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
4 Oct 08
that is so true where is the respect this woman thinking only of what she want and needs and losing her best friend of ten years is she crazy to have a friend that long in this day and age is a blessing don,t she no that friends come and go these days don,t she love her friend and don,t want her to hurt like this.
@Tianna2 (1274)
• United States
3 Oct 08
Personally, if I was something of this sort, I would talk to my friend first and make sure she was fine with it. I think I might try to get some insight as to why they broke up but after talking to the friend, I wouldnt have a problem with it. I just wouldnt want to feel like I was going behind my friends back and I wouldnt want it to be a surprise. Hugs, Tianna
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
3 Oct 08
she had no intention on telling me he told me she was going to move away with him so i would not find out now this is dirty she say she was moving to be closer to her family now i know the truth it was to be with him iam so so shocked someone would do someone like this how in human can you be friends for 10 years to do this
@heaven11 (1159)
• United States
3 Oct 08
Hi annjilena I Personally would not do this but if someone where to doit needs to be more than 3 weeks befor if not it somewhat makes it look like theyve been planning it also it should have been dicsussed befor it was done
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
3 Oct 08
i think it,s been going on she been sleeping with him this did not just happen she been playing around behind her back because i remember her saying she was alway there when he came over
• Philippines
3 Oct 08
on my side i don't like!! beacuse it was my friends x.. i could not imagine what could my friend say...
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
3 Oct 08
especially her friend say to her i love you and all the time she is loving my man was she blind iam sure the signes was there sometimes we see what we want to see he was telling her he love her and want her to be his wife what could have happen all in three weeks time iam thinking this been going on she been with him 5 years and she been her friend 10 how did it all get started i wonder
• United States
3 Oct 08
I'd say no that's not ok, at least for me personally anyway. I suppose it would depend on how long the first couple was together though. Like, were they in love and what-not. There are too many people out there to date, for someone to have to choose their friend's ex. Ya know what's even more sad? I know a couple of teenage girls that are in a similar situation...but they're sisters, not just best friends! I think that is horrible. I don't know how one sister could do that to another. Supposedly though, the one that dated the guy first was tired of him, bored with him, whatever. But still...I could never have done that. Makes ya wonder about the kids today and the moral values they hold. Sad, sad situation.
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
3 Oct 08
thats is bad why would you want something your sister has had. these girls are clearly lacking moral standards, back to our dicussion she been with man for 5 years and they was suppose to get married soon and one day he told her it was over he was enlove with someone else.but i did not know it was my besy friends of 10 years he is crazy what kind of man that does that.