I was angry with my husband

@sudalunts (5526)
United States
October 3, 2008 6:25pm CST
last night, because he keeps using his debit card and there is no funds on it. We owe the bank $70.00 in overlimit fees. So, I wasn't speaking to him. He had an appointment last night, I usually wait up for him to come home. I went to bed early. I heard him come in around ten thirty, he came in the bedroom and turned on the light, I pretended to still be sleep, because I did not want to talk to him. Later, he came back into the room, and called my name, I did not answer. This morning when I got up, I saw there was a message on the answering machine, I listened to it, it was my husband from the night before, saying that he fell, and his eye was bleeding and that he was going to the hospital. When he got up I saw he had a bandage over his eye, I asked what happened, and he said that he fell, when leaving his customer's house. He fell as he was getting into the car on his face and he had on his glasses. He went back to the customer's house, and they gave him an ice pack and paper towels for the blood. He said they called him to make sure that he got home okay. He decided not to go the hospital. I know I should have answered him, when he called me, do you think I was wrong, because I didn't answer him so that he could show me his boo boo?
5 people like this
10 responses
@klaudine (3652)
• Indonesia
3 Oct 08
Oh... I am so sorry to hear that. I know how it felt, you must be very sorry about that. You must felt really bad about the situation now. Don't sad, just treat your husband really nice and help him to recover his eyes. Tell him that you were sorry and that you didn't hear him coming home the other night ( I am not going to suggest you to tell him that you didn't answer him in purpose because he would felt that you care about the $70 more than his condition) and tell him that you went to bed earlier because you were upset that he came home late. You didn't know that something came up when he was going home. You didn't know that this was gonna be happened. You didn't expected something like this so I believe that it wasn't your fault at all. You did really well by asking him what was happened the other night without freaked out about the eyes. Don't worry, sudalunts :)
3 people like this
@sudalunts (5526)
• United States
3 Oct 08
Thank you for your kind response
3 people like this
@sunshine4 (8709)
• United States
3 Oct 08
Doesn't it figure? That is something I would do if I didn't want to get into it with my husband and then with all the luck, he went and got hurt. Is his eye ok? As far as the debit card, that woudl really irritate me. My husband always uses the debit and doesn't give me the receipts or mark it in the checkbook, so I always have a heck of a time with the budget!
3 people like this
@sudalunts (5526)
• United States
3 Oct 08
Thanks for your response, I redressed his eye for him today, and put peroxide on it. It is actually a little over his eye not the eye itself. I happened to look online and saw the balance. My husband doesn't realize what a balance is.
3 people like this
@Barbietre (1440)
• United States
3 Oct 08
I am sure we have all had moments like that. One night my husband called me while I was shopping and I was annoyed because he had nasty tone and asked what did he want, I would be home soon. He said never mind take my time. I rushed thru shopping and on the way home his doctor called and said he was on the way to the hospital. I was upset I did not respond better to him and thought he was upset. But he said he realized that he was wasting time talking to me, it was better to get to the doctor quickly than to wait for me to get home. Also he felt if he said he was not feeling well, I would have also told him to call the doctor, but then would have rushed home and being upset I might have gotten into an accident on the way home. But in any case, if your husband was hurt serously when he went into the bedroom, I m sure he would have tried harder to wake you and say why. Do not be too hard on yourself, we are all human.
2 people like this
@sudalunts (5526)
• United States
3 Oct 08
Yeah, when he did not call me again, I didn't think anything of it. I actually thought he was calling me about something for him to eat. I hope it wasn't anything serious with your husband, and that he is okay.
3 people like this
@Barbietre (1440)
• United States
4 Oct 08
Well it was a heart attack and his doctor told him it was a good thing he did not wait for me. He took an asprin immediately and that was when he called me. He was in our doctor's office within 5 minutes and was treated right away. He is 100% recovered now and healthier than most people.
2 people like this
@Sheepie (3118)
• United States
3 Oct 08
Aww! Good thing he's not so hurt. He should know better than that! I guess you're going to have to have a talk about it with him next time so you won't have to be spiteful anymore.
2 people like this
@sudalunts (5526)
• United States
3 Oct 08
I have talked to him time and again about that silly debit card, I think I will have to destroy it, if he can not be responsible.
2 people like this
@gemini_rose (16194)
4 Oct 08
I think our other halves know when we are going to be mad with them and deliberately hurt themselves so we won't be mad with them!! Seriously though, I hope he is OK, it could have been worse with him wearing glasses. I can understand you being mad with him over the card, my hubby used to be a so and so for doing it and getting us in the overdraft and then any money I had managed to save would have to go to paying it off. Now though I have managed to get through to him that if he wants the nicer things in life he has to stop it. I am now totally in charge of all money, all cards both debit and credit and all the finances. And no I do not think you were wrong in not answering him, when we are mad staying silent is often the best way.
1 person likes this
@sudalunts (5526)
• United States
4 Oct 08
gemini_rose, you hit all of my point right on the head. That's just the point we do not have money to waste, and he did it two times, I just picked up my mail and there is a letter for him from the bank. I do take care of all finances, this is a debit card of his, which he never keeps money in. It will be cut up real soon.
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
4 Oct 08
I don't know really. I am sure that at this point, you are feeling bad & guilty. Still, you did not cause his injury and the fact is that he was being careless and overspent and you were angry. With the economy the way it is right now, who can afford the overdraft fees etc? your reason for being upset is understandable. Don't kick yourself over "should haves". I think any of us could have easily found ourselves in your spot given the circumstances. had he been guilt-free himself,he maybe would not have had a wife that was so angry that she didn't want to speak to him.
1 person likes this
@sudalunts (5526)
• United States
4 Oct 08
The reason I was so angry, is because I got laid off from my job three months ago, we do not have the funds to waste on overlimit fees. That $70.00 could have put food on our table.
1 person likes this
@Stephanie5 (2947)
• United States
4 Oct 08
Geesh, what are the chances that he would go out and hurt himself when you are trying to get a point across? Men are such a pain!!! Well I guess it could of been worse, huh? As far as the debit card goes, if this continues to be a problem, I would cut it in half. That would surely get his attention! Good Luck!
@sudalunts (5526)
• United States
4 Oct 08
Thanks Stephanie, I got the scissors ready
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Oct 08
Snip Snip!!! lol :-)
@ddp_dev (184)
• India
9 Oct 08
your husband has not done a nice with you
@shoeb000 (321)
• India
4 Oct 08
if you dont like a particular thing and is angry, then also, you cannot ignore this kind of things... atleast you could have answered him and could have told that you are tired and sleeping... It was wrong from your side...though he also should keep you happy always, and should care about you.
@juhi06 (1850)
• India
4 Oct 08
it is necessary to keep him inline!! will it be possible this way i doubt. better speak it out and convince him . or manage the things on your own!!