does previous fights effect the relations?

October 5, 2008 2:15am CST
hello all those lovely souls there... i have a situation... i had a fight with my husban almost 6 months ago... he was very enraged... and he scolded me very badly.. plus he made a comment on me which i'm unbale to forget... he said if a person does not looks good, she should be of good nature, then she is acceptable... i was so much hurt... i was hurt to that extent taht i spend whole night crying, and the next day i just could not stop my self from crying... and i wished and prayed that i die... altough my husband realised just after 5 mins what he has said, he apologosed that night, and the next day contionously... he kept on apologising....but i could not stop my self from crying...i felt so bad, lonely and worthless.... let me tell you people, that i'm an average looking girl, with a dark complexion, which is thaught to be very bad in our damn society... altough i have not part in creating myself, yet i'm blamed of been ugly and dark... i never axpected this sort of comment from my husband.. because i am his wife because he choose me... and proposed to me.... he always feels sorry for that comment, and he gives me extra love and attention....hes does eveything he can to cover up for that....but i can not forget it... when ever he touches me and says whispers of enderment in my ears... i do not beleive him.. when ever he appreciates me... says that i'm looking beautiful, i do not beleive him... i feel uncomfortable when he appreciates my looks... when ever he appreciates me..those previous comments come into my mind... what should i do? why i am unable to beleive him... and why that one comment haunts me so much??? do you people have such experience in your life, that only one sentence spoiled your life??? is there anyway i can make my life better, coz i think that the DAMAGE IS DONE.... no words and gestures can mend them.. what you people think???
1 person likes this
2 responses
@nativeNZ (34)
• New Zealand
10 Jan 09
Hey I dont mean to sound bad ok, but really everyone says things they dont mean when they fight. Ask yourself if you said anything to hurt someone in an arguement. He apologised for goodness sake and YOU are the one who is still holding on to the hurt. Are there a lot of people you need to forgive on this matter? You wonder why you cant move on? Stop blaming yourself. You are not going to grow and get over it untill you forgive hubby, forgive All those people in the past who ever said anything to make you think badly about yourself, and most of all forgive yourself and accept yourself. Next time he tells you you're beautiful (well thats if he has'nt given up cause you never believe him), tell him 'I know Im beautiful' and belive it!!!
@moneyandgc (3430)
• United States
5 Oct 08
I think dark skin is beautiful. My husband has a much darker complexion than mine because I am Caucasian and he is not. I love his complexion, it is very attractive to me. I think maybe in the heat of your fight your husband probably was looking for a way to hurt you so he said something that he didn't mean. People tend to do that when they are mad even though it is very wrong. Believe your husband when he says that you are beautiful. Be self-confident. That alone can make someone more beautiful! If you feel beautiful, you are!