Trust in your partner...... A slightly different spin! Do you REALLY trust them?

@James72 (26832)
Australia
October 6, 2008 6:40am CST
There have been many discussion topics regarding the trust we have in our partners and family etc but I wanted to ask a slightly different question on it. Inagine this scenario - You are walking along with your partner or family member and all of a sudden they scream at you "Run! Get out of here immediately and get some help! Quickly!!!" or you are at home and you hear a scream from the other end of the house telling you the same thing..... So what would you do? Would you immediately hot-tail it out of there and get help or would you be one of those people that instantly starts questioning the comment? This is a whole different kind of trust altogether and I can't help but think that most people would immediately start asking "Why?", "What's going on?" or "What for?" rather than jump to action. Or they would go to the other end of the house to ask the same thing. Am I right in thinking that this is what most people would do? What would YOU do?
7 people like this
13 responses
@anirc750310 (3424)
• Romania
6 Oct 08
You could be right, but I trust my partener to see if he is calling for some else help that means I can't help him at all, so he need some other people help, I will call the police and ambulance first. I hope it will never happen!
2 people like this
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
6 Oct 08
I hope to God that it enver happens also anirc! It is good to hear that you would take your partner's words literally though. Thanks for the response.
@palonghorn (5490)
• United States
6 Oct 08
Because I trust his judgement without question, and due to the fact that we have both been in jobs that require quick thinking and action, I would immediately do as he requested. I wouldn't waste time asking questions, since in the scenerio you give I'm sure you would be able to hear the urgency in their voice. But this also has to do with my having been a first responder in one capacity or another for the past 10 years, you know when to stop and ask questions before taking action and when to just take action and ask later.
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@James72 (26832)
• Australia
6 Oct 08
This is how I would hope people close to me would be too palonghorn if the situation arose! But I can't help but think they would end up being inquisitve first rather than act quickly and follow the instructions. It is just people's nature to be this way. Thanks for responding to the discussion and I am happy to see that you are a person that trusts your partner this much and would act accordingly.
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@SViswan (12095)
• India
13 Oct 08
I think I would follow instructions not because I trust my husband but because I don't want to face his anger for not obeying him. I would want to see what the situation is to figure out what kind of help is needed....but depending on the urgency in his voice, I would go get help instead of asking questions (which he wouldn't answer anyways). I also know that I can't say the same about him if I were doing the yelling. He's always asking 'Where' 'What' 'Why'...even when I call him and ask him if he's busy.
1 person likes this
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
13 Oct 08
This is an interesting perspective to bring to this discussion actually. I am sure there are a number of cultures where the word of the husband would be taken instantly with no questions whatsoever. And regardless of whether a person feels this is right or not; in an instance such as the one I put forward, this would actually be ideal! It is funny though that the reverse would apply if you were the one doing the yelling! Thanks for the response.
@SViswan (12095)
• India
13 Oct 08
lol...my 'blindly following instructions' has nothing to do with culture (I'm nowhere near the 'typical Indian wife')....it's just that he has such a temper...and I can equal that.....just want to avoid a situation where he would be yelling at me for not obeying him and I would be yelling right back about my right as a wife to ask him things......I guess there will be other times to do it and not during an emergency. Actually, I'm not even sure how I will react in such a situation....I can't really say. But personally I feel for me it will depend on what equation we are at that point of time. If I was already mad at him, I would probably go back to ask him 'why' he needs help....but if I am in a good mood and in a peaceful state of mind...I would decide to 'obey' and make him happy.
1 person likes this
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
13 Oct 08
The cultural reference was not a specifically directed one SViswan; it just made me think about this aspect is all! If I know anything about you thus far it is certainly that you do not come under the "typical Indian wife" tag! And yes, you are very right in saying that circumstances would have a lot to do with it as well. There are many factors to a situation like this that could chop and change and cause multiple reactions as a result.
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
6 Oct 08
I would probably start running out but at the same time asking him why. My hubby is a quiet person and if he all of a sudden yells for my son and I to get the hell out, I would, but at the same time, questioning him too LOL
1 person likes this
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
6 Oct 08
You are the second person now that has said their husband is usually quiet so I can understand why it could be taken more seriously if they suddenly screamed out. I guess we could run and scream out questions maddysmommy but it might be a bit hard! lol. Thanks for responding.
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
6 Oct 08
LOL I can see myself running down the stairs yelling, whats wrong? whats happened? why are we .... haha and then probably falling down the stairs because I wasn't paying attention.
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@James72 (26832)
• Australia
6 Oct 08
Hahaha. Falling down the stairs while screaming out questions WOULD be pretty funny! (Even though it really isn't when you think about it.) I am glad that we can at least find some humour in a scanrio like this!
@sharra1 (6344)
• Australia
7 Oct 08
Interesting problem but this is not just a matter of trust. I trust my partner completely and if he said get help I would run next door to the pub and ask for help but if I don't know what sort of help is needed how can I get the right help? You are suggesting that by questioning that we are not trusting but if you dial emergency they are going to want to know what the problem is. You can say that someone called for help but they usually need to know what sort of help is needed. If you are walking together and that happens it would seem odd if nothing was happening so I think it is an odd example and I do not think asking what is wrong has anything to do with trust.
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
7 Oct 08
You are the second person that has raised questions about what to say to someone when you ran for help so I do understand how this would be a concern. But even asking someone to please come with me my husband is in trouble or something like that could make all the difference! As I said in my topic wording it is certainly an odd spin on the standard definitions of trust but I still think it comes under the same banner. Would we trust in the urgency of their request and take flight or would we seek further explanation? Thanks for responding sharra.
1 person likes this
@sharra1 (6344)
• Australia
7 Oct 08
I see what you are referring to and yes I would do as he said if he said to get help as I trust him completely.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Oct 08
Hmmmm, never thought about that. I would definitely trust hubby enough that I would go, and ask questions later. That's not to say that I wouldn't want to to stay and see if I could help, because that is just instinct, especially with someone you love. But, if he yelled for me to run, get out, or get help, that is what I would do.
1 person likes this
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
6 Oct 08
So are you sure that you wouldn't stop for a chocolate first Bo?? Seriously though, this is how I would hope it would be in my case for this type of situation as well. I am just concerned about the inquisitive nature we all seem to have because under some circumstances this curious nature could make all the difference. I just hope that I never have to test my theories! (Touch wood) Thanks for the comments.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Oct 08
I just hope that I never have to test my theories! yeah, me, too. I would hate to think that my inquisitive side caused things to end up worse.
1 person likes this
7 Oct 08
Knowing myself, I'd ask why. It has nothing to do with my partner. I'm just naturally not the type of person who would do something without "processing" it in my brain first... I'm thinking, why? What for? Do I have to? Perhaps I don't have to. Perhaps there's a better way to solve this than run... Also, I would likely ask why do I need to get help? What will I say to the person whom I'd ask for help? I think it would be silly to just run and ask the first person I'd meet and be utterly clueless when he ask me what he can or must do to be able to help.
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
7 Oct 08
I do understand your thought processes here rychelle, my concern thoough is for situations that ARE extremely volatile and taking flight could mean the difference between saving the person or both of you getting hurt. People having an inquisitive nature is a given but as they say - curiosity killed the cat! And it is fair to wonder what you would say to someone you asked for help too but I would assume we would state we needed them to call the Police or could they please come and help you. I would much prefer to look foolish because of a false alarm than have an irreversible event occur because of my curiosity! Thanks for responding.
@iman3004 (123)
7 Oct 08
i am the one who trust my partner. so, if they said something that might dangerous me, then i might done the action so, if they say i must run, i will run. that's for sure
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@James72 (26832)
• Australia
7 Oct 08
And this is what I would hope most people would do too iman; but I don;t believe that many would unfortunately! Thanks for responding.
@alokn99 (5718)
• India
7 Oct 08
The inquisitiveness comes naturally as to what the situation could be and what action it demands. It may also be for the reasons of getting the right kind of help. Is it a medical emergency, something requiring physical movement.... If that was known, i suppose i would react immediately and do the needful.
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@James72 (26832)
• Australia
7 Oct 08
I agree alok, it does come naturally. The reason why I thought of this discussion is because I have had this conversation with my wife in regards to what she would do if I were to scream at her to run and get help. She said her immediate reaction would be to want to know why and to stay and help me and this concerned me greatly! There MAY be situations where being curious could make a major difference to the outcome. Thanks for the respnse.
@magojordan (3256)
• Philippines
7 Oct 08
I do the same too ask them first before I jump into action. Of course I think it's better to look before you leap. So for me it's just natural that I do that
1 person likes this
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
7 Oct 08
I think this is what MOST people would do magojordan. It may not always be the best thing under all circumstances but it's just our nature to be this way. Thanks for responding.
@SaintAnne (5454)
• United States
6 Oct 08
After reading all the responses to your question, I feel like I'm in the minority here... which means that you're wrong in thinking this is what most people would do... which means that I probably would be one of those few people here who would ask "Why?" first. I trust Boyfriend and family and I hope that if ever this happens, I prove myself wrong, but I'm one of those people who want to know what is going on. I don't think I would just sit there and wonder why they're yelling/screaming with urgency, I would act but knowing myself, I know I would ask what the heck is going on. I want to know what I have to tell the person at the other end of the emergency line.
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
7 Oct 08
Personally I don't think that you are in the minority at all actually! You are just being more realistic with your answer is all. Regardless of what most people say I am still convinced that a majority of people would succumb to their curious side rather than take flight in a situation like this. It's human nature! Thanks for the response SaintAnne.
• Indonesia
6 Oct 08
my girlfriend, hm..., in many occasions it's always proved that she is right, her intuition is right. so, if she scream like that with her ultimately urgent tone, i will never ask twice to ask accordingly. moreover, if she is wrong, the worst thing happening to me is just embarrassed or a little bit annoyed. but if she is right and i don't act like she want, maybe her life and my life are in danger. well, the situation will be different if it is one of my family members screaming like that. in that case, i think i will be the ordinary "what's going on?" person. i guess they are a little bit paranoid. even when the water is boiling, she will scream as if a missile is hitting our house.
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
6 Oct 08
This is a good way to look at it actually. The best thing is to always take it seriously and if it ends up being a false alarm then so be it! It is certainly better to err on the side of caution and get a little embarrassed than end up walking straight into a dangerous situation. Thanks for sharing these comments sutanhartanto.
@merphius (225)
• Philippines
6 Oct 08
I felt the urgency in your scenario. It's like my heart pumps faster while reading your scenario. We'll, in those kind of situations i act quickly but tries to calm myself. On that scream i would like to have a quick short answer of why? or what for. as long as i have the quick clue of what happen then i act straight. people have diff rent personalities and reactions on that situation.
1 person likes this
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
6 Oct 08
I would hope that no-one would ever have to face this scenario at all merphius and it IS a scary thought! I agree that we would all react differently but I still do believe that a majority of people would not leave at all but would want to see what the fuss was about. Thanks for responding to the discussion.