What would you do if your child told you to shut up?

To be honest here i think the mother was not totally wrong in the way she handled the situation, i mean what would be the alternative? to turn around and shout back at the child in a crowded place or even to smack the child? She may well have diciplined her when they got home or then again maybe not, who knows. We all have different styles of parenting at the end of the day and the way our children are rasied is down to us alone. I think they lady in question has a right to raise her child the way she see's fit, this is not an attack on yourself please dont take it that way its just that each to their own and all that. I have to admit i am not very good at diciplining my own children and have found myself in the same situation today actually when my 2 year old son was having a temper tantrum in the chemist and started hitting me, i told him not to do it and picked him up but he still carried on, i mean what were my other choices in the situation i do not know. I do however know the people in the chemist were looking at me in probably the same way you and the rest of the shoppers were looking at this lady today and that just made things worse. My son has behavioural problems so he doesnt understand what he is doing sometimes and i just want to scream and shout at them that its not his fault and why judge! this girl may have had similar problems who knows? my son looks perfectly normal but has a host of behavoural issues that are currently being looked at by the hospital. Like i said tho hun please dont take this the wrong way i just wanted to put another perspective on the topic and hopefully let you see there may be another explaination or story behind this.

I'm with you 100% on this friend. One time my youngest did say that to me, although it was at home. I was in my office and just hung up the phone. I told my youngest son to go and do something, I think his homework. Anyway the phone rings, I tell him to go, and at that moment he said Oh shut up Mom. Well I spun around in that office chair and slapped him. First and last time we ever had that! He was shocked. I was so angry and surprised and I told him so. I sent him to his room. Respect is one of the most important things we can teach our children. With out it how can they ever be expected to be productive, confident, loving people otherwise. Have a great night my friend.

I see parents like the one you saw all the time and it makes me shake my head in shame because those spoiled brats are our future...sad. I have 3 kids and when my two oldest one's where about her age, they are about 15 months apart, I took them to a restaurant and they sat there queitly and ate their food and even had a milk shake because they where being so good. This older couple where sitting behind us and when they got up to leave they came over to me and complimented me on how well behaved my children where. I was very proud of them and myself for doing a good job to this day they are great kids they are moved out and have lives of their own. My youngest is 14 yrs old and he has learning disabilities so he's a little slower but he has very good manners and I think all kids should be raised with manners. I don't think parents who just have kids to let them run amuck should depend on us the responsible ones to have to deal with the spoiled rotten teenagers they have produced it's not fair and it's sad that they don't care enough to at least go get some parenting classes under their belts.

I get so annoyed by children misbehaving in the store with their mothers. I'm not sure I understand it. Is there some new fad in child rearing that says don't reprimand bad behavior from children. Sometimes I go to a retail discount store near my job on lunch and inevitably some poor mother is having a miserable time shopping while trying to unsuccessfully reason with a screaming, demanding, totally out of control child. I watch them whisper and beg the child to behave. I watch them try to negotiate and try to bribe a toddler. Everyone around becomes unable to enjoy their shopping experience. I wonder how these women got to be so helpless with their own child. I have six and never experienced this problem. When my children were very young and I took them out, if they became uncooperative I told them we would have to go home if they didn't behave. If they didn't behave, I would immediately stop shopping and take them home. The next time we would go out, they would remember to behave. As far as the child telling their mother to shut up, that behavior must be tolerated at home without any repercussions. My children learned respect at an early age before ever going on outings. They would have been in fear for their lives to tell me shut up.

I am just going to take a shot in the dark that the mother speaks to the child like this and unfornately this is what the parent gets back. Is it right? I dont know this is a very young age for a child to learn disrepecting her elders. Respect goes both ways. My daughter at the age of 16 sometimes forgets she is home with mom and not out with her friends once in a while she will slip and say ahhhh shut up, excuse me? Oh mom I am sorry I really didnt mean it disrespectful it is just a saying. Shame on that mom for not following through with her threat of taking the toy away.

Have you ever heard of "learned behavior"? This is an example of that! This child has heard someone tell someone else to "shut up". Okay, the mother yelled at the child, warning her about something, and the child yelled back... Wouldn't you expect that to happen? Little ears and eyes see things that influence them the rest of their lives. When this mother ignored the child's behavior in public, she opened the door for that to continue. I would have just got the child, walked out of the store and showed her what "NO" means. The mother is a verbal abuser by yelling, herself.

Nowadays you can't whip your Children, but if it was mine I would give them a few spanks on the but. or take a privilige away.

Never say never... even well behaved kids have melt downs. All kids act out in a different way. This child at the store that told her mother to shut up could of been having a bad day. Maybe she isn't like that all the time. You just never know. What point would you have proved if you spoke up to the mother? Better yet, what would you have said to her? Maybe the mother took care of things when they got home... She could of been avoiding a scene at that time && maybe she was embarrassed already from the way her child acted. Maybe that's why she didn't do anything at that time. I'm sure if she would of done something, she would of had someone else judging her. Either way, I'm sure that mom was grinding her teeth. Another thing to think about is, this child could have something else wrong with her && maybe mom knew that fighting back would just make things worse. It's so easy to judge people from what we see though... we should really stop to look at the whole situation before we open our mouth. I think other shoppers sticking their nose in other people's business about their child's behavior is what's uncalled for because we shouldn't be judging or criticizing the other parent. We are all parents && we should stick together. We all have our days. Not saying this to sound rude, so I hope I don't come off rude. Just trying to make a point.

If I ever said that to my mother or father, I would of been slapped across the face period. If my son had the nerve to say that to me, I would of taken him out of the store and given him a talking to. I would not tolerate that behavior and he knows that. We all raise our kids differently and handle situations differently, but all I know is that I would of nipped that in the butt then and there and not ignored it.

This is why I don't take my child into the store. Kids love to misbehave in the store. Actually, the little girl isn't just being rude, she's desperately trying to get her mom to take her seriously. She's trying to do something to provoke her mom into setting limits. As you can see, the mom is too busy with her own life to really give a dang about the child. That child is asking for limits but her mom refuses to set them. Her threats are empty, cause she doesn't really care. And, the child knows it. It's OK to be strict. That's fine. You care about your children. I'm not really strict. I'm more like a hippie mom. Actually, my spouse said that to me last night. Even he notices. But I don't put up with some things like her saying shut up. She did that once. She didn't know what it meant. But we had a talk and she doesn't do that anymore. She's a really sensible child and easy to talk with. But that's only cause she is smart and she knows that I care about her. Otherwise she'd be just like the little girl in the store trying to get my attention all the time with her bad antics!

I would take her little butt to the nearest bathroom and by the time we got out the bathroom she would be knowing the proper and respectful way to talk to me. BUT children learn what they see; and discipline begins in the home.

That sounds like a case of a child being spoiled that's for sure! I have seen behavior in public of children too and sometimes it seems like the parents just let it happen. Sometimes I have seen the opposite happen where the parents lose control and hit their children in public. I guess that each parent has a specific way of handling their child but I know if my son were to behave this way there would be no toy going home with us! It sounds like you have some good kids who have it under control. I know that it still isn't always easy to be a mother.

My child would never (i hope) takl to me or any other adult like that. If he did and it was the first time I would explain to him that it was disrepectful and he shouldnt talk to people like this. If this was something he did all the time then he would be in some sort of punishment when we got home and there would definitely be no toy.

What I would do? I don't have a child as of right now, as a matter of fact I'm only 19 -_-;; but I would just smack my child in the fact or somewhere of that sort (not in the head though) Because he/she deserves it! I think any of my relatives would want to beat the crap outta that child, if any of them sees that scene. This discussion reminds me of my own story at Chicago; I think when I was like 11 or something, I was at a restaurant with my cousins and brother, and there was one kid who told his mother this: "I'm gonna kill you, mommy!" I was pretty surprised, and the kid looked like he was around 8 or 9. There were times when I really hated my parents for many reasons, but I really don't remember saying those terrible words to my parents, no sir not at all. Then after hearing that, my relatives were like "dude I really wanna beat the $#it outta that s.o.b!!" then I think the others were mumbling about the kid's behavior. That was like... 8 years ago... and one thing I really don't understand about the parents these days is that some parents don't give a darn about their child's behavior. I guess in today's world, it just cannot be helped. The number of "careless" parents are getting higher and higher, and more kids are becoming more immature and just acting like bunch of fools these days... "sigh"

I'm with you. My middle one is 3 and she gives me a little trouble but even she knows better than to tell me to shut up. In the store she does pretty good. They both know not to ask for toys or anything, but sometimes the 3 year old wants to walk up ahead or hide under the clothes racks. If she really acts up in the store I get a hold of her and tell her sternly that she better knock it off or she'll be getting it when we get home. that usually works. She's been pretty mouthy lately, she's learning it from her sister because her sister talks to her like that. I've been trying to straighten her out. So far it is slow but it seems like she is getting it. we were taught not to talk to adults like that and i want my kids to learn the same respect.

That is part of the problem with the modern generation. When I was a child if I had done something like that I would have got a smack on the leg. A little smack is not child abuse and it makes a child pay attention and learn to behave. I just cannot understand modern child raising practices.

hi catsmew if my child had ever told me shut up she would never do it again as I would grab her, and spank her little tush right there. I do not believein spanking but disrespect would trigger that in me. neither of mychildren ever told me shut up. guess they knew better.

Wow. I don't have kids but I was raised to not act like that in a store so I'd try to raise my own children to show respect and behave in public and at home. If it had been my sisters or i acting like that mom would have been marching us out of the store right then and there to the car for a lecture. We wouldnt have gotten the toy and we wouldnt have been allowed to go with her the next few times.

I agree with you. I am appalled at some of the outbursts I see from kids in malls and department stores anymore. Not getting the toy (which she defineately wouldn't have got) would have been the least of her worries if she was my child! LOL Reminds me of an incident with my son (now 24) when he was about 3 or 4. We were at Kmart and he decided that he was getting this toy he picked up and it was fine but he also decided that he was done shopping and so was I. Well after the whining and wanting to leave I took the toy and swatted him on the backside and told him he wasn't getting it. He quitened down and seemed like he took his punishment pretty well and I finished and we went to the car. As I pulled out of the parking lot he just pulls the toy out from under his shirt and starts trying to open it! I thought I was going to wreck! I pulled backin the lot and took him inside and told the lady at the service desk that I caught a shoplifter. They were so good about it. He jumped right on it and was a pro! On the trip home he had little to say because he was to busy watching out the back window for the police to come! LOL Today that would be considerd being mean to the child. I wish people would take the time to teach their children these lessons early in life and it could prevent some major issues down the road! Have a great day!

I'm pregnant now so pretty soon, I'm going to have a kid of my own and I hope, hope, hope, that my child doesn't grow up to be a brat. Here, in the Philippines, it's common for children to get spanked, so growing up, I had my share of spanking. But since, I experienced being at the end of the rod, I promised myself, I wouldn't ever spank my own child, aaaarrrgh, so now I don't know. Maybe, I'll just react when the situation presents itself. I've seen two or three kids inflight (I work as a flight attendant) that couldn't be controlled by their moms and sometimes, I really want to give them a good spanking, especially when the other passengers complain and they take their complaints to us, but of course I resist the urge and instead move out of the area i.e. hide!