Do you like drop in company who comes by unexpectedly?

@TessWhite (3147)
United States
October 9, 2008 10:15am CST
Ok, I'm wondering if its just me that is weird. I do NOT like people to drop in on me unannounced. Thanks to health issues I'm sometimes in my PJs all day long if I don't feel good. Or, my house may be messy too. Or I may be sleeping. Every once in awhile someone will drop in without calling first. And it annoys me alot! I don't tell them this though, but I sure wish people would call before coming to see me. Does anyone else feel this way? Do you ever do like me and just not answer the door? I've ignored it before, telling them later that I was asleep and didn't hear them at the door. How do you all handle this?
4 people like this
26 responses
@Opal26 (17690)
• United States
9 Oct 08
Hi tess! I agree with you completely! I do not like anyone to come over without calling first. I too am not always feeling well and too am sometimes sleeping. I tell people the same thing when I don't choose to answer the door. I tell them I didn't hear the bell because I was sleeping! Never mind the fact that it is rude and the bell may wake me up if you keep ringing it! Most of my friends know that I don't like them to drop by. I have told them this before! I don't do it to them so don't do it to me! It is just a matter of politeness and sometimes I just am not in the mood for company.
2 people like this
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
10 Oct 08
Yea, I know how you feel. I like friends, but I like to know when they are coming. I guess the health nurse isn't something I can control. And I guess if she sees the place a mess she knows I'm not feeling good that day.
1 person likes this
• Japan
9 Oct 08
i can understand what your feeling..i myself dont like it when ppl just drop by on me unannounced..i think its common courtesy that they shud call first coz the person might be busy doing something or not in the mood to talk to ppl
2 people like this
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
9 Oct 08
Its funny, because my mom always had a "just walk on in" policy at her place. She would get drop in visitors all the time, but often didn't know it. See mom was terminally ill and slept thru anything with the meds they had her on. Then she would complain because I didn't go over, or no one came to visit, etc. She didn't understand that we DID come by - she was just seldom awake to realize it. Me on the other hand, I'd just as soon someone call me or email. LOL Funny how different mom was from me.
2 people like this
@mrbranan (1012)
• United States
9 Oct 08
I can't stnad for someone to just show up at my house. My mother and mother-in-law do it all of the time. The worst is when one of them ask what are you having for dinner and invite themselves over. I know they live alone but I have a busy life with three kids at home and although I love them and want to see them I just don't have time.
2 people like this
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
9 Oct 08
LOL If they ask whats for dinner, say we are having this - what are you having at YOUR house? If they suggest they are eating with you, I'd suggest to them that they either help with the cooking, or they order a pizza! For me its not so much being busy, its more that I just don't feel good, and don't want company alot. And because I often don't feel good, my house doesn't get tended. Like today - I'm in alot of pain. So rather than clean, I'm sitting around on mylot. LOL
2 people like this
@ellie333 (21029)
9 Oct 08
Hi Tess, Luckily most of my friends live that far away that it has to be a pre arranged visit but I am like you I don't like unexpected visitors, any one that lives close usually texts first to see if it is ok to pop round as like you I am sometimes still in PJs or I am having a world go away day. If anyone knocks on one of these days I won't answer the door, I will also not answer calls either until I feel brighter. Huggles. Ellie :D
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
9 Oct 08
Good to know I'm not alone in that feeling. I too ignore the phone, using caller ID to screen calls. As for world go away days - thats alot of days for me. LOL Hugs, Tess
2 people like this
• Philippines
9 Oct 08
No i dont want i dont really want to be caught off guard i mean i always wanted to be prepared. I dont want unexpected guess just popping into my door . Especially that i am a very private person i dont want that
2 people like this
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
9 Oct 08
Yea, I'm the same way. I want my house looking and smelling nice - and ME too - when people come by. LOL
2 people like this
@Sheepie (3118)
• United States
9 Oct 08
It's definately bad manners, who knows what someone might be doing? I don't know anyone who likes this, it's also kind of awkward because if you're in the middle of something, it might be hard to make them go away. It's kind of like forced entry, almost.
2 people like this
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
9 Oct 08
Yea, see my sleep patterns are off, so I could be asleep in the middle of the day. Or I may not get my shower done until noon. I don't know, maybe I should put a nicely worded note on my door that says please call first, I don't feel good or something. LOL
2 people like this
@tyc415 (5706)
• United States
9 Oct 08
There have been times when I didn't feel up to seeing anyone and my friend dropped by unexpectedly and I felt so much better afterwards. You see, I don't really have any friends here even though I have lived here most of my life but others have moved away or lost contact with them over the years. So when my one friend does stop by I normally enjoy it, she don't matter if I am in my pj's or if my house is messy. I can understand what you are talking about though with health problems and at times not wanting to see anyone and I don't blame you at all.
2 people like this
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
9 Oct 08
I'm like you, I don't have friends here either. But, I do have nosey neighbors. And the health nurses drop in on me every once in awhile. I wish I knew when these people were coming so I didn't look like a troll that just crawled out from under the bridge though.
2 people like this
@kareng (7980)
• United States
9 Oct 08
I think it is just good manners to call, especially if they are not immediate family. You never know what they may have planned or even if they are home...so calling will tell you if it is a convenient time for a visit! I don't blame you for not answering the door if you didn't feel good. I would do the very same thing...your normal :)
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
9 Oct 08
LOL Thanks. Sometimes family tells me I'm being weird for not answering the door. But I've had total strangers come by or neighbors to visit when I'm dozing on my couch in my PJs. Rather than run around trying to put on clothes, etc, I just ignore it. :)
2 people like this
@Calais (10900)
• Australia
9 Oct 08
I dont mind at all, I like it....But I can understand how you feel, but they are there to see you, not to look around and see if the house is messy or not...
2 people like this
@goldeneagle (6775)
• United States
9 Oct 08
no...I would much rather them call first...
2 people like this
@shorty08322 (1270)
• United States
9 Oct 08
no i dnt if i dnt have you got to call me and tell me where you at and you are coming
2 people like this
@violeta_va (4834)
• Australia
10 Oct 08
It depends who it is. If its my mother or father or my sister I dont care but everyone else does pi$$ me off. Expecially now that I am pregnant and I have 24 hours a day morning sickness, I dont feel like having people over and making small talk when all I want to do is stuck my head in the toilet or lay down. My house is not as clean as I would like it to be. I cant stand the smell of food or drinks so even when people call that they are coming I am not 100% happy but at least I have time to get things in order.
1 person likes this
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
10 Oct 08
Awwww my sympathies. I understand, my pregnancy was like that. And the so-called morning sickness lasted all day for the first FIVE months. Probably why I only had one child. LOL Hope you feel better soon.
1 person likes this
@mikeysmom (2092)
• United States
10 Oct 08
i don't mind if it is my mom, dad, sisters or nieces and nephews but other than that i would prefer knowing someone is coming over. i am a very private person and most of the time i am exhausted from all that i do so i like to relax in the early evening after putting in a full day. if someone comes by during that time unannounced i am already in my nightgown and would not appreciate unannounced guests for sure.
1 person likes this
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
10 Oct 08
Don't blame you there. For me its mornings. I am NOT a morning person. Just now I had a lady come to my door - and sure enough, I wasn't dressed for company. Never fails.
1 person likes this
@angemac23 (2005)
• Canada
10 Oct 08
I hate it when people think they can jsut drop in on me! If I am home relaxing and enjoying my day and I hear a knock on my door, I dont even answer it. The only time I answer My door is when I am expecting someone. They way I see it is I have a phone and everyone knows my number, so why not call and ask me if it is ok to drop in? They are only wasting thier gas and thier time and energy jsut showing up at my house unannounced becuase it will be for nothing!
1 person likes this
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
10 Oct 08
It seems there are alot of us who feel this way. :)
1 person likes this
@cutepenguin (6457)
• Canada
10 Oct 08
To be honest, this doesn't happen to me. Everyone calls in advance - I have an odd schedule, and my husband works shiftwork, so you never know when we'll be home. Even if we are home, my husband could be sleeping. The only people we will drop in on uninvited or without calling in advance are our parents.
1 person likes this
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
10 Oct 08
You are lucky. Just now a lady came to my door to ask if I'd lost a kitten. Figures. I was in a ratty old tshirt and shorts, headed to the shower. Never fails. No one will come when I look great. LOL
1 person likes this
• India
10 Oct 08
Hi Tess, I am like you. Unexpected visitors give me an unpleasant shock. As you said, I wouldn't be presentable to receive them. I am usually informally dressed. :) And I don't really like visitors, unexpected or otherwise. That's because I am always so busy, and I don't have the time to receive guests. I usually request my friends to tell me before they come. Anyway, I am safe because I have spread the news that I don't live here.
1 person likes this
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
10 Oct 08
LOL Thats an idea - tell them all you've moved. :P
1 person likes this
@whittear (110)
• United States
10 Oct 08
I feel the same way. I don't like that at all. I am a stay at home mom and my children can make my house pretty messy during the day. While they are awake I prefer to play with them and spend time with them, I only clean up here and there when I have to. So I hate for people to stop by without calling first because I like my house to be neat and tidy when I have company over. It never takes me long to clean up but I prefer to have that 30 minute heads up. The only time that doesn't bother me is if it's a friend who I haven't seen in a really long time. Once my friend who now lives in a different state surprised me and I didn't mind that, I was just really happy to see her. Luckily, my family and friends are really good about calling first.
1 person likes this
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
10 Oct 08
I've even been known to cancel appointments if I knew I couldn't get the house cleaned in time. But thats rare, and usually only if I'm feeling really bad that day. I'm lucky the kid is grown. Now its the animals the trash the place. Dog beds get shuffled, fur on the floor, tennis balls all over etc.
1 person likes this
@guybrush (4660)
• Australia
10 Oct 08
I'm like you, Tess, and definitely like to know when people are coming. Strangely, nobody ever calls when I've just done the housework and everything's nice - it's always when I'm in the middle of ironing, there's fluff on the carpet and I haven't checked the bathroom! And yes, there are times I've hidden and not answered the door! I remember hiding from my MIL many years ago because I just couldn't cope with her and her friend who were passing through. I hid in the shower and they actually came inside and stomped through the house - but didn't come into my bathroom, thank goodness! Don't know what I would have said - probably that I was just getting dressed and was coming to answer the door!
1 person likes this
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
10 Oct 08
LOL Good thing they didn't check the bathroom then! I've hidden before too, and ignored the phone. Sometimes that works, other times it doesn't. And you are right, no one ever seems to show up when the house is clean and I'm looking good. No, of course not. They wait until I look like I've been playing in the garden (probably was) and my house looks like it should be condemned. LOL
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Oct 08
I Like to have Company...the more the better...I guess its a Comfortability thing...If you are comfortable with how u perceive yourself you are fine with people commin unnannounced....My house is always clean so i dont mind company
1 person likes this
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
10 Oct 08
LOL Glad you can manage to always have a clean house. Its not something I seem to be able to accomplish these days.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164448)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Oct 08
TessWhite Hi no I really dont, as I like to have a little warning. what if I am not feeling well, or havent cleaned'ny house or even if I might be just getting ready to go'somewhere? I really appreciate when my best friend phones me first and'asks if it is okay to stop by. I also have health issues too, and sometimes i too am in my nightie. No its best to phone me and ask if Im going to be at home so to speak. Sometimes'I have not answered the door if I was not feeling well.
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
10 Oct 08
Yea, a week ago I had someone who kept knocking and wouldn't leave. And here I was in my PJs again. I dashed back to get dressed quickly, only to get to the door just as they drove off. Figures.
1 person likes this