Can you give advice?

@Sheepie (3118)
United States
October 9, 2008 1:14pm CST
I think I am very good as giving advice, but I don't know if it actually helps. I guess I just have a different view on things, whether people see it my way or not. I like to hear what other people have to say, but I don't normally take advice very often, at least not until it hits me months later that they were probably right!
1 person likes this
12 responses
@guybrush (4661)
• Australia
10 Oct 08
I'm always willing to stick my bit in - and I'm well aware it's not always useful. However, sometimes it's nice just to sympathise with someone, and that alone will make them feel as if someone's thinking of them and being upset on their behalf.
1 person likes this
@Sheepie (3118)
• United States
18 Oct 08
I think that talking soothes people who are the most frantic. If they think you care, no matter what you say, as long as you don't seem hostile or they don't tune out whenever you give your honest feedback, it can help them a lot.
@mentalward (14695)
• United States
9 Oct 08
I think I'm good at giving advice because I've been though a lot and learned a lot. If I have something to share, and I'm asked, I will share it. I try not to butt in if I'm not asked for advice or my opinion, though. Some people ask for advice and they honestly WANT advice that they can think about and decide if it would work for them or not. Other people ask for advice and never take it. I've never understood that kind of person. I have a friend who will call me with her problems. If I don't say exactly what she wants to hear, she's not going to listen to a word I'm saying. Recently, she wanted me to give her some money, even though she never said that. She called me, complaining about her refrigerator that was dying and her washing machine that DID die. She works, her husband works and they have two sons living with them, one who works full-time and the other who works part time and goes to school part time. They've paid off their mortgage and owe nothing but taxes and insurance, which isn't that much. I told her that she needs to get her family to sit down together and work this out together since there is obviously enough money coming in to afford whatever they need. She didn't want to hear that! She wanted me to offer to give her the money for new appliances. (You never 'lend' this person anything... you'll never get it back!) I didn't hear from her for quite awhile after that conversation. She emailed me about a month later telling me that she spent the day with her older brother and she got her new washing machine and refrigerator. She had talked her brother into giving her the money! I've already given her enough money to help them out (almost $2,000.00). Not one penny was even offered in return. There's no way I'll give her more! I've also gotten pretty disgusted about giving her any advice as well. She never listens, anyway. When I ask for advice, I will always think it over and see if it will work for me. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't. If it doesn't, I'll tell that person who gave the advice why it won't work for me so, at least, they won't think I'm just ignoring it.
@Sheepie (3118)
• United States
18 Oct 08
That's kind of upsetting, that you had a so called friend who would walk all over you like that. I don't think you deserve that! When you give so much to a person through advice and honest, candid opinion, the least they could do is pretend to appreciate your input.
@amlegend (945)
• Pakistan
9 Oct 08
i believe and many have told me that i am good at it and hopefully they are not flattering and i have seen my advises working. and i have the habit of listening to issues of others and i myself can't restrain the feeling and i imagine myself in that situation and then mostly i be the first to offer help or advise and maybe many people will accept it and a couple of times my advises did come to nothing but i am still learning about the world and like they say "sound travels faster then light but we understand the advises of elders when we grow old" being a good listener helps me as i can listen to others advises and there is no point that i am always correct.
@Sheepie (3118)
• United States
18 Oct 08
I know, it is very tempting to give advice. It always feels better to be able to give your input even if you don't help much. It lets the other person know you care.
• United States
9 Oct 08
I think that a lot of people ask for advice and then go do what they want to do anyway. Doesn't stop me from giving advice though.
@redkathy (3375)
• United States
9 Oct 08
Yep I agree with you, they do what they want. I think people ask me because they think I have it together. Well I try to appear that way even when I don't I'm a pull no punches kinda person. Never mean, just honest...
@ladym33 (11008)
• United States
18 Oct 08
I think many of us ponder the advice of others, then ignore it, and then revisit it once we find out that our way is not working. I know there have been times I was thinking yeah right, like that is what I should do. Then later on I will think about it and I will usually give the advice a try. Not always but sometimes.
@dieorfly (764)
• Slovak Republic
13 Oct 08
Most of the people are asking just for other point of view. Because it is easier to decide if you have more opinions. I am mostly able to advice people with the problem but not take the responsibility if my advice was not totally correct. The final decision is on the person who asked for help, he/she should never blame adviser for any bad advice.
@moondancer (7434)
• United States
13 Oct 08
Many people think I am good at giving advice. I've been told many times I should be a doctor at giving advice. I don't know about that. I just help if I can.
@dragon54u (31615)
• United States
11 Oct 08
I'm pretty good at it if it's something I'm familiar with. Especially romantic advice. Of course, my real advice would be to swear off romance altogether but I've learned a lot over the years so I can give that type of advice.
@irishmist (3820)
• United States
10 Oct 08
I give advice all the time, sometimes they take it,and sometimes they don't. It all just depends on the situation.
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
10 Oct 08
Hi, sheepie. I dont really know if I'm good at giving advice but I try to give advice from my heart, and I usully draw my avice from the things Iv learnd or was taught growing up and when I give someone avice dont worry much if they fallow my advice because I understand that people do what they feel is best for there lives and I can only hope that my avice helps someone, and even if they dont totally fallow the advice given, maybe they might fallow a small portion of it. by the way sheepie I miss seeing your old avatar pic, happy myloting.
• United States
10 Oct 08
Actually, you give really good advice! You gave me some relevant advice on my daughter's weight issue. Sometimes, I am good about taking advice. I hope that I'm also good at giving advice on occasion.
10 Oct 08
Hi Sheepie, I have been giving advice and help to people nearly all my life and yes sometimes they don't take my advice and few years down the line they come and tell me they wished they listened to me after the have gone through years of hell, I do take advice from my friends and know that they are right and usually works out ok after. Tamara