Military Wives....

United States
October 10, 2008 8:29pm CST
My husband is in the Marine Reserves, has been ever since we started dating 3 years ago. He just left tonight for the weekend (his monthly drill) and for some reason I just miss him terribly. :( Obviously I always miss him, but I don't know why its different this month. It seems stupid to me because the longest he's ever been away is 6 weeks & even that is no big deal to most wives who have had their husband go overseas. Thankfully, he hasn't had to yet. He's going active next year to become an Officer and then take his flight contract. Its hard for me because I want him to be happy (and doing flight school makes him happy) but I also want to take the easy way out and just say... why don't you just finish your contract and get out!! I know its selfish of me and I do want him to be happy and I know this is what's best for our family right now, but everytime I see my friends with their husbands or boyfriends when he is gone just makes me wish it didn't have to be this way. Its not the moving or anything that I don't like (I can't wait!), its just having to be apart from him that I don't like. I keep telling myself to stop being so selfish and to support him, and some days its so easy to say "do whatever you want babe, I'll be there no matter what!" and I mean it all the time, its just harder to live up to it some days. Any other military wives feel like this?!
1 person likes this
5 responses
@mansha (6301)
• India
10 Nov 08
We lived seprated for seven years and you wont believe but our lives had completely taken new directions by the time he came back and it was so hard to live together in the begining and especially the first year but now we are again settling down. Initially it was hard to part then it was hard to live together again. This is military life and now I think you should take it as it comes and never ponder before and thing that helped me was staying in sperated family quarters provided by Indian army as all of us had husband's away on duty and we made really good friends it was then not so hard. we shopped together went to kids PTA's together and even lunched and dined together. That really helped , you miss them more if everyone around you is a couple and especially if friends and family keep giving you sympathetic looks.
• United States
10 Nov 08
Yes, that's definitely true! I think I'd do better if we lived on a base, where I was surrounded by other wives who felt the same way. But when I'm at home, everyone is with their husband, boyfriend, whatever... and it's just totally depressing.
1 person likes this
@mansha (6301)
• India
11 Nov 08
I stayed like that for two years and it was real bad experience and then thankfully shifted to the base where everyone was in same boat then had a terrific time too. Can you not do the same?
• United States
14 Oct 08
I understand you missing him terribly. My husband is deployed right now and has been gone for over 13 months. We have two more months to go before he gets to finally come home. I feel like I lost my best friend. Yes, we do get to talk but it is just the fact of having him next to me, seeing his face when we talk, and being able to touch him. There are some days where I wish we werent military and we had "normal" lives but then I realize that is not who we are! It takes a strong person to be a military wife so hold your head and BE PROUD!!
• United States
16 Oct 08
Thanks!! I really needed that. Even though it's obvious that every (or almost every) military wife feels the same way, it's good to hear that there is someone who relates to wishing we weren't military every now & then. :)
@sedel1027 (17855)
• United States
11 Oct 08
Yep, I know the feeling. My husband is about to leave for boot camp and I miss him already. The icky thing about the Corps is that when you change branches, you have to re-do boot camp. Had he just done back in the Army they would have let him skip boot camp. So he will be gone 3 months, home for 10 days, then more training for a month, then they might let him come home before going to California. Not that it really matters, at least once he goes out to California, we can move out there with him. We should all be together at least 2 years before he has to finish up his training for 3 months. By the time he is finish all the training he might have a year on his contract. Even though I miss him already, I am so glad he decided to enlist. With the economy the way it is, at least he can't get laid off again. It is a good sign that you miss him. I was 18 when I met my ex-husband, I knew 3 months into our marriage we were going to get divorced because I didn't miss him when he left for even the longest training missions.
• United States
11 Oct 08
Aw, I'm sorry he'll be gone for so long. :( Its funny because sometimes when my hubby was about to leave for his 6 week trainings, I'd be sad the day (or a few days before) and he'd always tell me to be sad after he left, because he just wanted to enjoy the time we had together then. I know what you mean about the economy, too. He works in remodeling when he's not doing his Marine training & lately (about the past 3 weeks) he's had no work! So that's why I'm not totally opposed to him taking his flight contract. I hope things work out & the time goes fast for you guys!! Just keep yourself busy! :)
@jyaegel (161)
• United States
10 Nov 08
I don't think it is wrong. My wife and I are getting ready to go thru the same thing. We have been married for 6.5 years now and due to hard times I am reading myself to re-enlist in the army reserves. She wasn't there my first enlistment and is scared. She was adopted when she was 2 years old and has never been away from anyone close to her for any amount of time. I am going to have to go thru warrior training which lasts a month I believe and she is scared because depending when I leave her parents will be away at the same time at the winter home. So all I can say to her is what I can say to you. "BE STRONG AND BELIEVE"
@dodo19 (32873)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
11 Oct 08
I can somewhat relate to you, though certainly not to the same extent. My fiance has wanted to be part of the Canadian Grenadier Guards, since ... pretty much since we've been together. This would mean that he might have to go overseas. Well, for those of you, whose partner is in the military, you can understand, when I say that I wasn't too fond of the idea. So, last April, he went to pass the exam to enter the Grenadier. I knew that's something he wanted and, because I love him so much, I let him go. Unfortunately he barely failed the physical exam and was far from passing the math exam. He's in history. One reason for this is because he hates math. He was really disappointed. Now, call me selfish, but part of me was glass that he wasn't accepted. Primarily because I wasn't fond of not seeing months at a time, and especially not fond of the idea of him going overseas. Fortunately for me, I don't think he's going to do the exam thing again. Mainly because of the math bit. But he has recently mention that if there's conscription, that he would do it. He would go to the conscription thing. So there's always that fear of him going overseas. So, I kind of understand what many of you are going through. Though to a lesser degree.