Does your parents treat you as equal as your brothers or sisters?

@dandan07 (1908)
China
October 12, 2008 6:44am CST
These days, one of my friends talked about the topic. She told me that her parents spent a whole year income to help her brother enter the high school, while give her nothing during the period of her college years. She thought her parents did not treat her as equal as her brother, and now she even does not want to see her parents again. As the only child in the family, I have no chance to meet that problem, and do not know how to deal with it. But I think parents should try their best to treat every child equally. If there are uneqaul things between brothers and sisters, there may be more family problems, and people's relationship in the family will not tight enough. But in many places of the world, parents still prefer boys than girls, and do not use the same way to deal with children. Have you ever meet such things? How do you deal with it?
4 responses
@mgeise (51)
• United States
13 Oct 08
My mom is pretty neutral among myself and my two sisters. My dad, however, favors my sisters over me terribly. It's not even that he favors them; he is just against me. I don't understand it, but it's probably because I am the oldest and the only son. I overachieve and do better than my sisters in many things, but he seems to belittle the accomplishments and focus on my faults.
1 person likes this
@dandan07 (1908)
• China
28 Oct 08
Maybe you are a boy, so your father feels that his power does not function well in your place, so that he prefer your sisters than you. It is common in many families. Take it easy.
@Shar1979 (2723)
• United States
12 Oct 08
nope. not at all. i guess there's always the favorite and you cant really avoid it. my mom's favorite is my brother so he gets all the attention. my dad is just equal
1 person likes this
@dandan07 (1908)
• China
28 Oct 08
No matter how hard to avoid, parents seem still have something on equal on their children. Maybe not too care about that, and live in our own way is the best method. Thank you for your share!
@relundad (2311)
• United States
12 Oct 08
Coming from a family of 4 kids and being the oldest, when I was a kid I often thought that we were sometimes treated differently. But as a adult I began to realize that it was only a child's perception. I realized as an adult my parents had the ability to know the needs of each child and respond accordingly. As a child I was not able to see this. For instance my personality was more aggressive, I was more assertive, I was smarter, I was more independent, so my parents didn't have to give as much. As a parent it is your job to identify not only the wants for your kids but the needs. And sometimes it ends up being money related. One of my brothers for instance needed help academically so his education was more expensive than mine. One of sisters was more emotionally dependent on my parents, I didn't require that. But at the end of the day, I now know that our parents gave each of exactly what we needed to make us the well rounded people that we are. I can look at us now and we still all exhibit those same traits and our lives and the way we live reflects that same thing.
1 person likes this
@dandan07 (1908)
• China
14 Oct 08
Thank you for your post. I have never thought the problem on your angles before. It is fresh and meanful to me. Even brought up in the same family, children still have their differences. We should see their personality clearly. Your parents are great parents, they give things to you according to your personalities. Now I think being a good parent is really an art, not everyone can make it.
@fritz27 (1137)
• United States
12 Oct 08
I'll answer this and probably with a comment that everyone is thinking. Our fathers favor the daughters, mine did! Though I have 2 other sisters, I was the favorite. Mothers favor the sons, mine still does. I, hope I don't favor any of my 3 kids, but there are times when one " gets " more, but I think at the time, it's needed. Not to the extreme of thousands of dollars. I'm more strict with my daughter. I'd like her to stay my baby for more years, does she receive more?! She's a girl, she requires more! Good Luck with your post.
1 person likes this
@dandan07 (1908)
• China
12 Oct 08
There is no absolutely equal in the world, but the differences should not be great. I think in a family with many children, parents may have a time pay more attention to one of the child, or give someone something more than others. But in most case, the period will not last for a long time. But in my friend's case, I think her parents give all the chance to their boy while take too less attention to theit daughter from her word. Thank you for your post.