What would you do if..........

United States
October 12, 2008 9:53pm CST
Your young child came to you and said someone was bullying them at school, forcing them to give them their lunch money? This happened with my son, I responded by telling him that some people think they can take what others have. I told him the next time he tried or asked for his money for him to say NO. His response was mom he said he wont be my friend, I said darling you do not need friends like that. The next day he did as I said and told the boy NO, he came home so proud of himself and said mom I did it I did it, then I asked him what had happened after he said NO. He said he just walked away, I explained to my son although you are scared to never back down in what you believe is true. This is the best way to handle a "bully" He shook his head and agreed with me. What advice would you give your child? or would you do it differently?
2 people like this
12 responses
@schulzie (4068)
• United States
13 Oct 08
I think you handled this correctly. I am very glad that this "bully" did not actually hit your son and just walked away when told "no". I think it is a great step in your son growing up to be the man he will become one day. As a child, I was bullied on a daily basis, and being shy to begin with this situation was horrible for me. Every day at school was a battle for me. I grew up this way, but after becoming an adult I overcame my shyness and now I do not take crap from anyone. Not anymore. Sometimes you have to stand up for yourself. There is not always someone there to fight your battles for you. No one ever has the right to "bully" anyone else. Nowadays the schools really seem lackadaisical about bullies, etc. They say they are concerned, etc. but rarely do anything to prevent these activities from happening. I am glad that your son is brave and hope that he does not have any further problems with this other little boy. [b] Have a nice day and happy myLotting!!![/b]
@jackiew (915)
• Canada
13 Oct 08
That was great advice you gave your child.If it had proceeded ,I would of went to the school with my child and and had the other child and his parents present and discussed the problem together. happy mylotting
• United States
13 Oct 08
you did the right thing.
@jammyt (2824)
• Philippines
13 Oct 08
It depends on what level of "bullying" is happening. If it involves getting my child hurt, I would go straight to the school and confront the child with his/her parents in front of the school directress or principal. I would make sure that it will never happen again. Your advice was great too.. if the kid bullying would just keep quiet and go away if my child said "NO". Chances are the more they would bully. Congratulations to your kid for being able to stand up for himself! Such a great achievement. I am praying that when my child goes to school, no one would bully her or she would not bully anyone. LOL!
• United States
13 Oct 08
Even if it was violent I would then direct my son to go to the teachers and ask for her to bring the boy in the room say the two boys can work it out. Then at that point if it continued that is when I would get involved
@KrauseHome (32872)
• United States
15 Oct 08
Well, unfortunately, these type of things happen all of the time. But I like what you told your Son, and Glad to hear that NO worked for him. That is actually a Great response to use, but usually does not work for a lot of kids as well. I wish there was a way to prevent bullying as well.
• United States
13 Oct 08
I think that you gave your son excellent advice , now I don't have children of my own, but I do have a lot of little cousins, and if one of them were to have such problems I would problaby tell them the same kind of advice. It also dependson how serious the bullying is. If it's to the point of beating each other up, then I would give them different advice though. I have had these kinds of problems when I was young boy and my parents would always give me different advice like: to go talk to the teacher or the principal, to stand up for myself, or the same advice you gave your child.
• United States
13 Oct 08
Nice job! My daughter recently came to us and told us about a girl that has been "talking about her" and being mean to her. We decided to see what she thought was the best way to handle it. She really surprised us when she said, " Well, I'm just going to ignore her because I don't want to get in trouble at school. The class trip to Washington is coming up and my coah would be mad and thats more important than some girl talking crap." It really amazed us that she took such a mature approach to things and realized that there would be consequences for her action. She weighed her options and made the right decision. Makes you feel good about being a parent.
@emarie (5455)
• United States
13 Oct 08
good for your son and you gave the perfect advice. i would have said the same thing and then added that he's not your friend in the first place if he does something like that. its best for kids to be strong and stand up calmly against 'bully' type children.
@YOULANLIU (312)
• China
13 Oct 08
Yes,I think we can see the same troublesome problem usually in our life.Many of the children in the school now are facing the similar problems.They have to face the threat from other children.I think parents should tell their children that they should not afraid of them,.Just as you have said above,they should be proud of themselves and there is a fair power in the society that can punish the evil.That could be benefit for their future growth.
@isleng17 (48)
• Philippines
13 Oct 08
you did a good job! my kid's (daugther)in preschool and she had a classmate who was always bullying her. he would always pick on my daughter at every chance he could get. i told her teacher about it, and her teacher said she has been trying to get them together but the boy was just mean. i told my daughter to show her classmate she wasn't afraid of him. i think there was one time i told her to sock him (lol) but i guess after months of school he finally stopped picking on my kid.
• United States
13 Oct 08
I believe you gave your son good advice. Not all bullies will back down though and some may become physical. If the bullying continued I would go directly to the school and consult with the principal. Most schools have a no tolerance policy against bullying. I was bullied when I was a kid and did stick up to them. They retaliated by getting a kid in a lower grade (they were all quite larger)to physically attack me. The kid was still bigger than me. It traumatized me for years.
@TerryYuan (229)
• China
13 Oct 08
usually, idon't konw
@Grandmaof2 (7604)
• Canada
13 Oct 08
Isn't it a shame what stress our children of today have. I often think about my grandchildren and wonder where life will lead them. My daughter is very good with the kids and she has beter than just contact with school staff so that's a blessing too.