Glad I didn't just drop everything and run over.

@writersedge (22579)
United States
October 16, 2008 11:54am CST
My brother called. His employer needed a form filled out. He can't fill it out because his IQ is around 60. He had an employer rep there. The rep wanted me to just drive 11 miles there to help him. I said, "I'll tell you the answers over the phone." 5 questions later, his cell phone goes off. The rep has to bring my brother somewhere and get his picture taken, do an interview, etc. He had to leave right then. So if I had left and gone in this rain all the way there, used my gas for nothing, I would have been ticked off. Ever glad you didn't just run right over and do something for someone? Especially with the cost of gas? There was no reason I had to go there, he can write the answers and he's already there anyway. I could see if it was an emergency, but to fill our a form. No thank you.
2 people like this
9 responses
@carolbee (16241)
• United States
17 Oct 08
I understand your concern. The employer rep. could have completed the forms and if not, couldn't they mail the forms to you? I sure ran today when our pregnant daughter called me to tell me her doctor wanted her in the hospital asap to be monitored. I dropped everything and took off. Ofcourse I thought they would induce her but that did not happen. She's now in her 9th month but had some lab work that was a bit out of the normal range come back that concerned the doctor. She's at home right now with her husband taking it easy and I am about to fall over from exhaustion. Thought I was going to be a grandma today.
3 people like this
@writersedge (22579)
• United States
17 Oct 08
Sounds like an extremely exhausting time for you and your family. Glad everyone is alright right now. I pray that they continue to be alright. Take care
2 people like this
@carolbee (16241)
• United States
17 Oct 08
Am surprised there isn't a service offered by the govt. to help your brother whether it be completing papers or a ride. It was hectic yesterday. Our son-in-law is in surgery this morning so I'll run over there soon. Just hope she doesn't go into labor within the next few days while he is recovering at home. I'll be all over the place trying to help..lol
2 people like this
@writersedge (22579)
• United States
17 Oct 08
He's having surgery. My goodness, when you're busy and your family is in the hospital, it's double time all the way around. Hope things ease up for all of you soon. Take care and good luck for everyone.
1 person likes this
@PearlGrace (3172)
• United States
16 Oct 08
You were really thinking on your feet to offer to do the interview by phone. Yes, it's a good thing you didn't just jump in the car and head over there. Hope your brother gets the job. Wish him luck.
3 people like this
@writersedge (22579)
• United States
17 Oct 08
Thanks, he tentatively has the job, passing the background check is part of it. But I hate to tell them, I don't know all the answers to some of the questions either. Take care.
2 people like this
@tryxiness (4548)
• Philippines
16 Oct 08
I do not know, but whenever things like this come my way, I would take into consideration that my brother is calling me because at that very moment he needed my help and probably, though I can not save everything the very fact that I came would somehow let him feel that I am supportive of him (or it's just me).
3 people like this
@writersedge (22579)
• United States
17 Oct 08
My brother is not the problem. The person who wanted me to drop everything, drive there, and 5 minutes later had to take off with my brother is the problem. If I had driven 11 miles to find an empty house, I would have been livid. Take care.
1 person likes this
@saundyl (9690)
• Canada
16 Oct 08
Off the top of my head i cant recall any that have made me think that BUT I can think of a few times Its been worthwhile humor wise to drop everything and run. Once was on my behalf...I stalled my car and it was in the middle of the road at the beach...tried to start it and tried...finally gave up and went and called my dad. He dropped everything to come fix my car...or rescue me. When he got there He figured out that i was trying to start my AUTOMATIC in drive. Needless to say I've learnt cars wont start in drive.
2 people like this
@writersedge (22579)
• United States
17 Oct 08
Oh, I don't mind for emergencies. One morning I heard my husband saying, "Susan, please pick up, I locked my keys in my car and the motor is still running. I'm at _______________ store." So I dropped everything and jumped in my car to go bring him a second set of keys. But to fill out a form? Yes, I also tried to start my car in wrong gears. I think new drivers just do that.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (105453)
• United States
17 Oct 08
As a newly wed, first time around, I got to point out that problem at 5:00am to a military hubby who was running late for work. He knew better, but just got flustered. I actually was not even a driver at that time. LOL
1 person likes this
@writersedge (22579)
• United States
17 Oct 08
GG, sounds like you're a faster study than the rest of us on some subjects. Take care.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (105453)
• United States
16 Oct 08
Glad you thought of it. That would have been a pain to have driven there. Does someone look after your brother, like residential support? It would seem they could have helped if so.
@writersedge (22579)
• United States
16 Oct 08
No, res support, food aide who comes and cooks so he won't burn the house down. Qualifies for 1 hour a day for that because he has diabetes. They've really cut back on how much they want to help in NY State unless you want to live in a house run by ARC or be in an institution. When they gave him the papers, they should have scheduled a time for them to be done. Take care.
3 people like this
@GardenGerty (105453)
• United States
16 Oct 08
We have at least three agencies in my county alone that provide services to adults with disabilities. None of them are ARC. I am not even sure if ARC exists in Kansas. There are others that I can name in towns nearby. I think they are very helpful. Some people have told me that it is just a glorified institution, but I do not feel that way. Our clients live in apartments and duplexes and some of them own their own homes. Some get services like you describe, others just sheltered employment, job coaching and transportation. Case management. All citizens need to be valued. As I explained to my bus driving boss when I drove and received some special ed students to take to jobs, If we support the disabled in finding and learning jobs, they become taxpayers themselves and not a burden on society. It adds dignity and value, and puts them on an equal with the rest of us.
2 people like this
@writersedge (22579)
• United States
17 Oct 08
Exactly!
1 person likes this
• India
17 Oct 08
Hi friend, I am sad about it.Be bold you will definitely reach your goal. Have a nice day.
2 people like this
@writersedge (22579)
• United States
17 Oct 08
Thanks, take care.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Oct 08
Yeah, it was pretty silly that they wanted to you run right over to fill in a form. Doesn't make a lot of sense. Maybe they just weren't thinking. Good thing you were. :o)
1 person likes this
@writersedge (22579)
• United States
17 Oct 08
I think they forget how far away I live. 11 miles one way, is 22 altogether. They drive more than that, but they get either reimbursed or it is part of their job. But there is no reason for me to run there and if I had gone and they weren't there. Oh would I have been upset. Thanks and take care.
• United States
18 Oct 08
I recently left a job where the transportation rules were just ridiculous. I worked for a local MH/DD facility here in PA. On one incident I remember, an individual that I was responsible for wanted to go to a hospital out of the county because her husband had a heart attack the night before. Anytime an individual requests to go out of county we had to have permission which I can understand. But what I got when I called it in was "We are not her taxi. If she wants to do program today then fine but we will not waste the gas to take her out of county for a personal matter and we will not pay you to sit with her." My job title was direct service worker/life coach. I quit shortly after. When I left, I told them...I don't see where it's right that I can take her 30 miles to a wildlife park for lunch but I can't take her to her job that's 10 miles away or to a hospital to visit her husband. So, I can completely understand your dilemma here. But with all things in life, I try to look at both sides of the picture. Right now, alot of governments(national, state, local) are having to cut funding from somewhere and normally, it's the MH/DD programs that get hit the hardest. Sad but true. For years the battle was fought to end institutionalization for people who didn't fit society's definition of normal. They have won the fight for the most part. Many of today's Mental Health/Developmentally Disabled citizens live in residential homes or homes of their own. It's a wonderful show of independence and rights to equality. But supportive services need to be just that...supportive. And most are lacking or have rules that make it impossible to ensure good quality of life...transportation being right at the top. There's always a solution. Hope you find yours.
@writersedge (22579)
• United States
18 Oct 08
I can beat you on stupid transportation rules, check this one out: We had an incontinent woman (for others-someone who can not get to a bathroom in time to do #1) who was wearing an adult diaper. Someone from our lovely state capital said that was OK at home and OK on the job, but NOT ok for transport. So she would urinate all over the bus seat every day. Some days, because she liked to drink a lot of coffee, she would urinate more than that. They had to take the bus out of service, park it up hill, open the back door, and let the urine run out, sanitize the bus seat, clean and sanitize the floor. Now explain that happy horse maneure. Every day they had to do this. The person who reviewed her file and came up with that No diaper for transport, what was that person on? Yes,I used to work for the agency my brother is served by, but I refused to drive that bus. In the country, we have hardly any bus service. The service we have never goes with when and where my brother works. The only way we can do it is for my husband or me to bring him to work.
@Hatley (164450)
• Garden Grove, California
17 Oct 08
hi writersedge I guess this financial mess is causing a lot of other problems. here in Ca we have a lot of prettygood programs for developmentally disabled young people, and some are people who will go with the dd young person to help him or her fill out job applications and things like that. I am glad you could do it over the phone, with the costof gas beingso high it would have been a waste for you to have driven over there. a lot of stuff can be done by phone. I havent been in that particular situation as I dont drive but all my friends a re having a bad time keeping up with the costs of driving nowdays.
1 person likes this
@writersedge (22579)
• United States
17 Oct 08
Their houses=the houses for developmentally disabled, not the ones living on in the community
@belk89 (1103)
• Philippines
17 Oct 08
It happen to me one time when i was invited to come for dinner. I was not really in the mood to come over. And decided not to go, but i feel bad when i think about it since they personally come over just to let us know that they would want us to come. But after i called and found out that my sister in law is also there at that time. I was glad that i didnt come at all lol.
@writersedge (22579)
• United States
17 Oct 08
That's a different take on it. Yes, you were glad you didn't go after all. Sometimes saying, "No," does work out for the better. Glad it worked out better for you. Thanks and take care.