I need help for the "Identity Crisis" thing.....

Philippines
October 17, 2008 9:16am CST
Hi there mylotters... I need your opinion about my friend's problem, although I already gave him my opinion and advice. I still want to hear your opinion about this matter. He is already 21 but up to this point of his life he doesn't know how to act... I mean, about his identity.... Let's just say, he's still having this "identity crisis"... Need your opinion and help about this... any suggestion/s on how he could confirm his "identity" thing...
3 people like this
9 responses
@kingguy3 (41)
• Philippines
18 Oct 08
Let him determine a sense of purpose in this world... Just make him see to it that his talents doesn't go to waste... help him a suitable work using his talents. Advice may not be the one suitable. Have a nature experience. Take him out in the free and make him see the beauty of the outside and not just the on isolated inside a room. The choice doesn't belong to me. It is by his friends and supporters, the people who'd care the most, the one who know him more than us, it is only when he finds a purpose that he learns to find a job in his heart. A persona developed through guidance of love and not a persona downed by faulty advice... it is in your hands.
2 people like this
@Opal26 (17690)
• United States
17 Oct 08
Hi amzthienne, This is not a question that anyone else can answer, but your friend. Only he knows how he truly feels. He is still kind of young and could just be confused. He really should be talking to a professional about this. Has he ever acted on these feelings? I have a very close friend who is gay and who has always know that he is gay. He never had to question it. We have known each other for 30 years. Your friend isn't sure about what he wants and who he is so he needs to figure this out. I still suggest that he goes to see a professional to discuss his feelings with. There can be alot of underlying things that are attached to his feelings that even he doesn't realize. You can't help him. This is something that he must do on his own.
@drannhh (15226)
• United States
17 Oct 08
You are not going to like this, but my advice is this: Find a different friend! This guy is not ready to be anybody's friend, because he doesn't even know how to be his own friend to himself. Trust me on this--a guy who doesn't know how to take care of himself will never be able to take care of you, and any relationship you try to have with him will always be a one-way street. He will do all the taking and expect you to just keep giving. Find somebody worthy of you instead, maybe somebody a bit older, as it takes most men longer to mature than it does women.
2 people like this
@tryxiness (4548)
• Philippines
17 Oct 08
Let him take the time to figure out what he wants. He does not need to hurry up to figure things out but when he is bothered or he is confused then I suggest that he needs to take a time to be with himself and contemplate on things.
2 people like this
@cjgrooms (4456)
• United States
17 Oct 08
There isn't enough information here to know what type of "IDENITY CRISIS" you are talking about.
1 person likes this
@cjgrooms (4456)
• United States
17 Oct 08
This is something that each of us has to work out for ourselves. You can support him but in the end he will have to decide what will make him happy.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
17 Oct 08
What if he doesn't like what he feels, and can't control it?
2 people like this
@cjgrooms (4456)
• United States
17 Oct 08
He will have to make peace with what he wishes he was and what he is. The most valuable thing you can do is be his friend regardless of what he decides, because support from friends can be a great comfort when trying to make peace with reality.
2 people like this
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
18 Oct 08
Need more info an what he isnt clear about!
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
18 Oct 08
I just watched a very good show(movie) about this sorrt of thing its called (A Girl Like me) but he was a boy! GEt it and have friend watch it might help him out one way or another!
1 person likes this
@Gorzata (185)
• Poland
18 Oct 08
U wish your friend overcome his identity crisis, identity fluctuations are unavoidable, maybe he's not used to being himself, not used to being what he's become:? dunno, if he considers it a problem, make him for a moment forget about the thing, he should distance the thing away from him, when distanced there's no thing that cannot be overcomed. i just suggest i'm not really good at giving advice, when i only know a hint of a thing, try maybe to explain in a few more words, oh well, from my perspective, advices, when are distributed mechanically, automatically, are of no value; in one word: please do try to give more details in order to work it out together; everything best
1 person likes this
@alpha7 (1910)
• France
18 Oct 08
Your friend needs a lot of help,he might need to visit a Psychologist to know exactly what his problem is? Although there are some that are attracted to both sexes at thesame time but if he has not found out this,he might just need to go for some help somewhere.
1 person likes this
@earthsong (589)
• United States
18 Oct 08
I would guess he really knows, but doesn't want to commit to a label because he doesn't want to be judged. All you can do is let him know you support him no matter what his sexuality.