Dealing with Autism in the Grocery Store.
By jiffin4java
@jiffin4java (97)
United States
October 17, 2008 5:10pm CST
If you have a child with Aspergers or Autism like I do, you know that meltdowns or misbehavior in the grocery store is inevitable at some point, as much as we try to avoid it. Have you ever had someone actually come up to you and make a comment? If so, how did you handle it? Did you make a snappy comeback as I have done, or make a polite, graceful exit? I have my own snappy comeback I have used to defend my 7yr old son when needed, however sometimes a graceful exit is more effective. I love to hear how other parents handle these public issues and it may be helpful for a parent who is at their wits end about it! :)
1 person likes this
5 responses
@ongtina (1232)
• Singapore
21 Oct 08
Hi again. My son is 10, how old is yours? Usually I ignore others stare, but if they do comment, then I would simply tell them that he is autistic. But I would not put the incident into my mind/heart cause that is not going to help me or my son,right. For me, I used schedule so he knows where we are going and what to expect as well as when his interest is going to come in. I also used social story to let him know what's right/wrong and consequences. Well, all the best to you.
@ongtina (1232)
• Singapore
30 Oct 08
Do what your instinct tells you. You love your son and definitely will observe him more than others hence more than often what your instinct tells you is correct. It is hard at times but DON'T GIVE UP. Strive on. I am trying too, let's encourage each other.
@jiffin4java (97)
• United States
28 Oct 08
My son is 7 and newly diagnosed. I only just found out what social stories really are just in the last week. We have always used schedules and different types of visual cues because that's what's always worked with him, not realizing he had Autism.
@talfonso (246)
• United States
24 Nov 11
I wholeheartedly agree with you. Visuals like visual schedules, first-thens, and as discussed here, social stories help ease many autistic children.
I hated going shopping, particularly at the Walmart Supercenter. I hate the whitewash ennui, the boredom, and the break in routine. Ugh. And being a high-functioning autistic makes it worse. And I don't have an autistic child!
I found Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) very helpful. It's not just a stim (tapping on and talking to self) that helps me out (after all, lots of autistics stim) but it's like a grown-up social story.
@ongtina (1232)
• Singapore
20 Oct 08
I also have an autistic son, mild. I didn't avoid going out. In fact I did it often and the melt downs dwindle so much I don't see it anymore.I would tell him , words and pictures, before bringing him out, of how to behave and the consequences.When there is tantrum, I would immediately end the trip, showing him the things I did before going out and telling him why/what he did wrong.Going out is something that my son wants and so he learns to behave. Now, we are able to go out and enjoy the whole trip.Do remember to tell that when it is time to go, we go off happily and so we can come happily and go happily again. As for strangers, I do not bother with what/how they think. They are not in my life afterall, right?
@jiffin4java (97)
• United States
20 Oct 08
I also think it's important to get them out into the world. With Autism these kids have such a hard time understanding the world around them that the more they're exposed to it the more they can learn about it. At some point my son will be an adult and will have to function on his own. I can't just NOT deal with the difficult times in the grocery store because they're hard, right?! Most of the time I ignore people but I'm pretty sarcastic by nature so it's hard to keep my mouth shut at times. LOL!!!! I think the majority of our grocery store fiascos happened when my son was younger and he has learned to behave better for the most part. I still think it's interesting to see how others deal with the same situation though. :)
@ndaniel229 (419)
• United States
17 Oct 08
The daycare I worked at there was a woman that had a child with a severe case of Autism. And she carried these cards incase someone in public ever said something to her. it reads:
My Child's Behavior May Be Disturbing to you.
My CHild is not spoiled or Misbehaving.
My child has AUTISM.
(then on the back it has facts about Autism..)
She said she's used them quite often and people usually apologize. It's such a hard thing to deal with and the publics immediate reaction is oh he or she is being a brat. It's sad. But I think the more people know about this mystery the better they can deal with it.
So if I were you (which I may be ... I think my daughter may have Aspergers...) I would say I'm sorry but she's autistic. And leave it at that. Or I would try purchasing those cards. Chances are they read it and feel really small.
@jiffin4java (97)
• United States
17 Oct 08
Yeah, I've seen those cards and I thought about making some up. I'm very big on awareness since my son was diagnosed. These kids truly do look just like everyone else and appear to be just a spoiled child.
@andnowtheres2 (47)
• United States
4 Aug 09
We get wraparound services which has made a world of difference when we go out in the community. There are times where I will open up and say my child is not spoiled they have autism, what's the excuse for your behavior and then I walk away. or sometimes I just ignore it even though it does really peeve me off.
