Lonely marriage

@sev123 (45)
United States
October 19, 2008 10:33am CST
Do you ever feel lonely in your marriage? I do. Sometimes I really feel like my husband doesn't understand me. He hardly ever helps me with anything. For instance, winter is comming soon and I have been busily trying to add insulation to our house to cut back on the energy bill, but he won't help me at all. Why should I have to crawl around under the house in the dark by myself. It should be his job to do this not mine! He is disrespectful to me in that every time I try to express how much his lack of caring effects me, I get told to shut up. He didn't even buy my wedding ring, I did! I can't help but wonder sometimes if I made a terrible mistake. I can't ever remember why I married him to begin with. It makes me so sad. All I ever wanted was a family. I have a beautiful son out of this relationship and I don't want him growing up thinking that it is ok to disreguard others feelings especially his wife. How can I explain to my husband how I feel? Should I stay in this relationship or should I seek a divorce? What would you do?
3 responses
@relundad (2312)
• United States
19 Oct 08
It seems that going into the marriage you knew who you were marrying and what his ways were like. But for whatever reason you chose to marry him anyway. You did yourself an injustice by getting into the marriage probally with hopes that he would change. He is the same person that you married, so why are you expecting something different? It seems not only does he have no concern for you or your feelings but that of his family. You can expect to forever feel lonely because you are alone, you just happen to have a husband. That title doesn't automatically mean that the person is going to change or that he will respect you any different. He is the only person that can change, but he needs to want to change and it doesn't seem like that is in his plans. I feel sorry that your son will have to grow up to think that is the way that a man treat a woman or the way that a husband treets a wife. Your husband is a poor example of both a man and a husband. Its one thing that you have chosen to deal with his sorry a$$ but another thing for your child to have him as a role model.
1 person likes this
@sev123 (45)
• United States
20 Oct 08
You are right. I guess that I did enter into the marriage with the hope that he would change and grow. I suppose that you cannot force someone to be mature. He says that it is my fault because I nag him all the time and I guess that is true to some extent. I just want him to be the person that I know he can be. You are right though in the fact that he is the only one who can decide if he wants to be that person or not. thanks for your comment.
@missybear (11396)
• United States
19 Oct 08
It sounds like you might need a break from your marriage. Maybe get away for a couple weeks and see what happens.
1 person likes this
• Canada
20 Oct 08
If theres one thing I do not believe in its breaks! sorry but i jus dont find breaks help at all I find in most casses it makes matters worse! many couples just do things they arent supoose to while taking breaks and when they get back together it all falls back on them and gives them More reason to argue
• Canada
20 Oct 08
Plenty of men tend to say that their wives are nags! Maybe you could mention separaing or even divorce unless he can help to make the mariage work!. or i you have a hard time talking to him try writting him letters! or seek a marriage councellor cause i know its hard to leave someone you love , no matter how mean or cruel they can be but deep inside they may want to change but need the help..He will probably always be this way with any woman! no matter who she is maybe its the way he was brought up, he just needs a coach to help him..:) I hope This helps