People don't get it that great marriages still exist

Jamaica
October 20, 2008 8:13am CST
My husband and I have a great relationship. We've been married for almost 7 years. I would'nt say we're joined at the hip but we do like each others' company and try to be together as often as possible. Of course there's work, we both work but after work he comes home and we chill together. Weekends are spent together too unless there's something specific we have to do e.g. hairdresser/barber, a meeting or something. But I find that some people don't really respect that we do things together. It's like we're weird or the odd ones out. Married people should'nt be that close or do things together. I just don't get it.
6 people like this
43 responses
@ljmacca (86)
• Turkey
20 Oct 08
hiya i think thats great. we've been married less time than you , married for 3years together for 6 we have 2 kids and we've just emigrated and now we get laods of time together and we love it. most people seem nowadays to get fed up with eachothers company, we actually argue more wen we dont see eachother which i think is a positive sign rahter than argue cos we're sick of the sight of eachother. because we have the kids and he's currently working for a few weeks, we always make special time, like sat night is monopoly night where we play that and have a few drinks and a load of fun, i say well done to anyonoe that can find someone they are truly happy .......and ignore the cynics lol
2 people like this
@felher08 (195)
• Philippines
22 Oct 08
I believe Deeville, that great marriages do still exist. I knew of one couple who celebrated their golden years in marriage until her loving wife passed away due to ill health disease. This couple are always happy during their years of living together. Doing things together in their family life is what they enjoyed most. Whule the husband do the gardening, the wife do the cooking for food of her husband . Very nice! I hope you enjoy your marriage life. Happymylotting!
1 person likes this
@Monki883 (54)
• United States
22 Oct 08
I agree GREAT marriages do exist,,,come Nov 5th my hubby & I will be marroed 15 wonderful years. I'm not saying we never have disagreements,,but we have never had a major fuss or fight. I had enough of that in my previous marriage.
1 person likes this
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
21 Oct 08
You know, I completely agree with you!!! My husband and I have a very close relationship. He works quite a few hours so when he is home or off we like to spend it together. People we know and friends of ours are always making comments. We have noticed that the ones that do are the ones that are not in happy relationships. We love each other and when we got married we did it to spend the rest of our lives TOGETHER. I am with you...I don't get it either!
1 person likes this
@mflower2053 (3227)
• United States
21 Oct 08
My husband and I have been married for 8 years now and I am still in love with him. No we are not perfect but who is and if someone says they are they are full of it. We disagree at times but I do look at him and fall in love with him all over again at times and other times I want to say hey dude wake up. lol I think we have a good relationship. We tell each other everything and he works hard at keeping our family happy.
1 person likes this
@Annmac (950)
21 Oct 08
If you don't want to be with someone why would you marry them in the first place? I've been married 38 years and the person I want to spend most of my free time with is my husband. Whether it's trailing round the local Asda or walking on the beach, he's the one I want to be doing those things with. A lot of the time he's worked away and although I have great friends and family to be with I always miss him, even though we try to speak to each other as often as possible. The most important thing in a marriage is your relationship with your partner and I find it hard to understand how people can call what they have a marriage if they spend all of their time apart. I think your friends are a little bit jealous and envy your happiness. Don't let what they think spoil what is obviously a great relationship and I hope you have a very long and very happy life together.
1 person likes this
@newtondak (3950)
• United States
21 Oct 08
My husband and I have been married for almost 24 years. We were both married before to people who didn't particularly share any of our interests and were more interested in spending time with their friends than with their spouses. We married because we wanted to spend time together - which, to me, is why you get married in the first place! We like to work together, play together - do everything together, and yes, a lot of people don't understand that.
1 person likes this
@gaisri (154)
• India
20 Oct 08
People who do not like / respect it are those who does not know how to manage and balance life as you do. It does not really matter how much time we spend together, but what matters is how much quality time you spend as a family..you have understood the concept of happy living..You are not an odd one out..Get going with it..
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Oct 08
My hubby and I just celebrated our 15th year anniversary last Saturday. I'm happy to report that we still laugh at each other's jokes and still care for each other deeply. We belong to a circle of friends whose marriages are also long-lasting so I can't say that I often encounter people who don't get it why we're still together. But if there are people who question how there are people who can stay together for a long time, maybe they are the ones who should question themselves why they aren't in a stable and loving relationship instead of the other way around :) No, you're not weird. You are just successful at keeping your marriage intact. And I respect you for that. If other people don't get us, they're simply the unlucky ones :)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Oct 08
I am not yet married so I am not an expert when it comes to this thing, but I do believe that great marriages DO EXIST. A good example is my parents... they have been married for 36 years now and still do the dishes together while singing their favorite song. My mom still put those corny sticky notes on my dad's bag and they still do have their own private weekends together. They have problems (who doesn't), but I never hear them argue... they always talk privately over things... to settle arguments, to decide, etc. and I love them for that. My grandparents had just finished their 70th wedding anniversary and still hold hands together. My grandfather still open doors for my grandma (you've got to see how long it takes them to enter a room!! LOL!!!). Funny, corny for some, but it makes my heart melt whenever I see the sparkle of love in their old eyes when they look at each other and I just hope that they reach their golden anniversary.
@ShellyB (5244)
• United States
20 Oct 08
I am glad that you have a great marriage, now the only thing left to do is stop worring about what people think, you can't please them all.
1 person likes this
@sunshine4 (8710)
• United States
20 Oct 08
You are the perfect example of what marriage is all about. I wouldn't listen to anyone elses comments. You have a great relationship and it seems like it will last a lifetime. I have been married for 21 yrs. My husband and I have 4 children, so we spend a ton of time running them around and going to their sporting events. We always go together~ as a family to support the person on the team. It makes me wonder at times when I see only one parent at an event and no siblings. I think that is what family is all about...spending time with each other and supporting each other.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12815)
• Philippines
20 Oct 08
I think the people who find you guys weird are those who envy your relationship together. They can't have that same bond that's why they try to ridicule yours. Every time you hear someone comment on your marriage as that, just silently pray for them to be more blessed and remind yourself that what you have is very much precious to help you and your husband to do your best to keep your marriage strong. Congratulations on finding that someone who enjoys your company and who's company you enjoy most too. It's good to see that there are still couples who could be bestfriends and could show that in marriage, it's much important to have the desire to spend time together. I'm glad I am able to read your discussion, it has always been my great experience to see my parents who's marriage is like yours. They've always been together for the last 30 years of marriage and going strong in God's Grace. I see them still giggling at each other's jokes, holding hands without the mushyness of youth drama, plus I always see it in their eyes that they have found that someone who is the best thing that ever happened to them. I salute you and all those who have the same relationship. Yes, times could be tough and it could shake a marriage, but trust in God and always keep the bond safe and strong. You're lucky! =)
1 person likes this
@barehugs (8992)
• Canada
21 Oct 08
My Dear Dee: No, you don't get it! Almost 7 years? How would you know if your Marriage was Great after 7 years? You're still wet behind the ears. Yes of course, at 7 years you still think marriage is Great. But please don't brag until you have at least 25 years. The first 10 are so easy. I've been married 53 and all to the same woman. Its been a Life Sentence, with No Parole and No time off for Good Behavior. "There's nothing wrong with marriage. Its just the living together afterwards, that's Murder." ~Sam Levenson.
@Barbietre (1442)
• United States
21 Oct 08
Wow, if you feel it is bad, why are you still together? While my marriage has had some realllllly low moments, it also had had some really great ones.
1 person likes this
@barehugs (8992)
• Canada
21 Oct 08
I didn't say it was bad, just that its like a Life sentence that was entered into 53 years ago when Religious thought prevailed. Religion is a 2000 year old Scam,(or the best business this world has ever seen), but people are beginning to catch on, as they forgo marriage vows in ever increasing numbers.
@estherlou (5026)
• United States
19 Apr 09
I've always enjoyed my husband's company. He's a funny guy and fun to be with. I like our conversation, and I like that we can share similar or the same ideas in politics and in moral values. We don't like the same kinds of movies, but you can't be identical twins! LOL. We've been married 39 years this June.
@msedge (4012)
• United States
5 Feb 09
My husband and i have a good marriage relationship.We are best of friends.We work and hanging out together with our daughter as a family.We sometimes have misunderstand with it won't take 24 hours to resolve it.We are happily married and i still believe that great marriages still exist and we are one of them.
@juliamae (127)
• United States
2 Nov 08
I am so glad that I found this post. You have, unfortunately, started another one of my rants. I have found that unhappy people who are insecure in their own relationships tend to act the way you are describing. My sister's are always asking me why me and my husband always have to do things together. It drives me insane...it's like, WE ARE MARRIED...THAT'S THE POINT...SPENDING TIME TOGETHER BECAUSE WE LOVE EACH OTHER. I get so mad that at this point, I have a hard time even going around my family. I feel like when you are ready to marry someone and actually go through with it, you should be prepared to spend the rest of your lives together...and do stuff together. I remember one time I drove to my parent's house and my sister was visiting. She said, "What you didn't bring him along?" Well, at the time she had asked, my husband had not come in the house yet. He was still outside getting something out of the car. I became so infuriated and I just wanted to leave right then. It's like I should be sorry for wanting to spend time with my HUSBAND. Who care's if you are joined at the hip, or never spend any time together. They are not the ones in the relationship with your husband...you are! It is only yours and your husband's business how much time you guys spend together. I think it is because they haven't found a great guy who sees that there is more in life that watching tv...that a great time with their girlfriend or wife is a good time too. I sometimes just want to go off on my sisters for saying those things. I just want to say something like, "Look, I am sorry that you cheated on your husband because you're a {insert word here}. It isn't my fault that you're marriage fell apart and mine is great. It is the normal thing for two people who love each other to want to spend time together. Maybe that is why your marriage fell apart and mine is great. SO LEAVE ME ALONE AND MIND YOUR OWN BEESWAX!" But then, I snap back into reality where I am the bigger person and I don't say anything except..."no, he's right behind me as usual!" Here's the final point: UNHAPPY AND JEALOUS PEOPLE ARE GOING TO THINK THAT YOU TWO SPENDING TIME TOGETHER IS UNNATURAL...BUT REMEMBER, YOU ARE THE HAPPY ONES AND THEY ARE TORTURED BY THE SITE OF YOU TWO
@hildas (3031)
29 Oct 08
Yes I feel as people think me and my husband are weird. We have been married for sixteen years and together for twenty three. We met when I was fifeteen. I became pregnant at seventeen and that was a big crime. Every one said we would not last because we where too young to be parents. I think some how it pushed us closer together. We have four daughters now and are kept busy. We like to do everthing together, we enjoy the weekends together, do the gardening together and well, just about everything. We are soulmates. I think that is why a marriage lasts so long, because we share and do those things together. I am glad you said about people thinking you are weird because you are close. I think they are jealous.
• United States
28 Oct 08
It is hard to see that good things happen in relationships if they don't happen in yours. I know that my mom thinks our relationship is really weird because we rarely do things apart. She thinks that we should be more independent, but my husband is my best friend and I love spending time with him and doing things with him. Plus he works a lot of hours (about 60-66 a week) so the time he has home is not a lot. I am glad that he wants to spend that time with me rather then out doing something on his own. If he had a lot of activities to do without me then there wouldn't be a time that we did spend together. We have a two year old and now a baby on the way and the three of us often go for walks, watch movies, and play together. It is what family life should be like.
@robert19ph (4586)
• Philippines
25 Oct 08
[i]Hello deeville, Congratulations on your great relationship and a great marriage! Don't worry too much about it. Just do your thing as long as it works and you are hurting anybody. It's a a bit odd because if you are always together and do things together your relationship migth get stale. But I think it is not in your case. We don't have a lot in common with my wife. She likes love story movies and I like horror and gruesome movies. So most of the time we don't do things together but with regards to our family we do things together. We help and support each other for the good of the family. We sacrifice some of our wants differences so we could all be together which is I think you are also doing and have great marriage. Have a good day! Regards.[/i]