Parents and Children, Let's Smile a While!
October 21, 2008 1:56am CST
PARENTS' RESPONSIBILITIES: The rest of your life. 1. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,until someone needs $5. 2. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. 3. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. 4. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck! zippers. 5. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. 6. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. 7. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute,an embarrassment the next. 8. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. 9. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. 10.Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. 11.Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility. POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION: 1. None. 2. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you. PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: 1. None required unfortunately. 2. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. WAGES AND COMPENSATION: 1. Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. 2.A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. 3. When you die, you give them whatever is left. BENEFITS: [b]While no health or dental insurance, no pension,no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right. [/b] How's these?