what the f...?

what i do is give him a hug every time i see him. when he's relaxing and playing playstation....i always go to him and give him a kiss on his lips. at times, i do spank his butt and he'd do the same. he likes what i do and he told me nobody has ever done the things i do to him. he says i spoil him in many ways. try to give him massage, join him when he's taking a shower, i clip my husband's nails

My husband is far from romatic too. I can understand where youare coming from. I have learned to appreciate the little things he does for me instead of holding on to the hope of romance. The most romantic thing my husband has ever done for me was to make an anniversary card for me and leave it on my nightstand. We weren't even married yet, but we had been together a year at that point. Other than that, he bought me flowers for Mother's Day from him and the kids. Not a romantic guy, but he does little things every day to show me that he loves me. He makes my coffee each morning, and wakes me up with a cup. He makes my plate for me if he cooks. Little things like that. I am not one that feels that romance can be taught. He may change by himself over time, but I suggest that you just look at the little things he does and remember that he does them because he loves you, not because he has to.

Dont try to teach him love is a god gift only true lover or true husband can understand it i love my wife very much and i am with him in every aspect and condition try to change him with ur love and feelings thats the only way.

I think that your husband is set in his way and will not be changing over night. What I would suggest to you is that you buy some romantic movies and both of you sit down and watch them. In watching these movies then he will be able to see what you are trying to bring across to him. Alot of males prefer the gangster style and even some of the gangster portrayed a romantic side of life that person did not believe he/she has. Just have patience and continue to see him how much you love and respect him. In time he will come around and see that being romantic is like living in heaven.

I think that if he wants to learn he will learn. What you need to do is make it important to him to learn how to romance you. Let him know that you would be willing to be more sexually adventurous (or whatever appeals to him) if he would help you get in te mood by (insert list of things here). Talk about fantasies. Maybe each make a list. You pick one off his list, but he has to do one off your list first. Be as descriptive as you can. Sometimes guys are romance-stupid. I am car-stupid, for example. My husband is domestic-stupid. Open communication is important. Tell him clearly what you need and ask him if there is something you can do for him in return. That's what I think.

Hi..first of all pl understand that feelings such as romance, attachment,hatred,love etc cannot be thought..It is an inborn quality where some lack and some have excess.Romance is important in life but it is not the life. Your husband is very honest in saying that he likes you for what you are..Like wise, try to love your husband for what he is. Try to surprise him with things he likes..like gifts, dishes etc.. But you cannot change the basic characteristics of a human being..

The only way you will have romance in your life is by watching chick flicks and reading romance books...I reckon they were invented for women whose husbands didn't have a clue. He sounds like a good bloke otherwise. You could always get him to treat you to a spa once a month or whatever, where you can have massage and be papered and feel just lovely...expecting this stuff from your hubby is just a waste of time honey. Peace.

My husband isn't very romantic either. I ask him the reasons why he loves me and honestly he could be describing a dog.. because I'm smart, loyal, funny... etc etc. Nothing that really describes just me. I do sweet things for him a lot, and rarely get anything in return. A few weeks ago I made a long list of all the reasons I loved him. A couple days later I was a little upset because I was thinking that he'd never done anything like that for me. Once I told him I was upset he brought home flowers... which is nice, but I'm not crazy about flowers and he knows it. In the end I just keep reminding myself of all his positives. So he's not romantic, but he's not a cheat or abuser either, and he works hard to support our family. He's a very nice guy... so what do I have to complain about?

Well yeah, romance can be taught to some extent. It seems that when you both met, you found enough initial attraction to get 'hooked' to each other. Like another respondent hints at. Was romance so important to you, when you first met? Maybe there were other aspects that you really enjoyed about your partner? As another person says if romance is becoming more important to you, maybe you can do a trade off with hubby, are there things that he wishes you would do better? That could be your answer. Not in a relationship at the mo, so the romantic things I would do for my partner, would very much depend on what I feel they might appreciate... and I would definitely try to appreciate any romantic things they did - definitely wouldn't be burping in the middle of a candlelit meal!!!!! Maybe that was his sense of humour? Take care :~)

Well my opinion is that if you have a good man and a good marriage, than things are good, and if you also want romance, take the first steps, do not teach him by talking but by action. You be romantic for the both of you and good things will start happening, like on your birthday he will remember how romantic you are and surprise. A good marriage is worth well fighting for, do not give and have a good life.

Hrm, I know that badness can come from teaching a man how to be romantic, he uses it TOO often to his advantage! ha ha, but I digress. I tend to do the back massage thing, I find it relaxing for myself and the receiver.

I think it is something that people just have, it seems like if you don't have it, you do not understand why it is important to others. I think nearly everything can be taught. Over the last couple of years, my babe has been worn out and such and unable to get in the romantic mentality he used to have. I try to get him back into it by doing just little things here and there. I have not really known any stereo-typical males romantically, everyone is different, so things that work for some may not for others. My man is not so fond of massages, unless he really needs one, which is rare. I do a lot of caressing and that works for him. A lot of men I have known though really dig being rubbed all over, though the negative is it will be expected more once done often. Maybe just do some sort of sensual massage could make him in more of a romantic mood, though for all I know he is not fond of constand contact... you know him better than anyone. What can you do to make him comfortable, relaxed and back to that extreme head-over-heels feeling he had when you first started dating?

romance in any relationship is something important, because love itself is romance. personally, my spouse and i, we like to rewind back our stories on how we met, funny experience, share point of views, basically, we do a lot of talkings that can make us to know each other better. even though i knew her well, but i want to know her at the best. we sometimes refresh back our honeymoon, and spend our time a lot together. maybe from my story, you can get some point of views how to improve your relationship with your husband.

First, i have a question for you sweetie. Did your husband USED to do romantic things for you? I mean when you first got married, early in your relationship. Did he romance you? Or has he always had problems showing you how much he loves you?

Relationships have their ups and downs. You should be thankful that you have a husband who loves you. Some people are not born romantic but that does not mean that they do not love their partners. Yes, romance is good but some people are just not that romantic. If your hubby is not the romantic type, then I guess you just have to live with that. After all, he was already that way when you married him and you loved him just the way he is right?

Hi ndaniel229! I dont think your husbands not romantic, it's just his emotional vocabulary is limited. He sounds like a very practical man- the yin to your yang and if he can't see it then he doesn't notice it. the thing with romance and love is this .. it can't be planned or prepared for, it takes you by suprise and the depth of feeling in response is just as suprising! the good news is that romance can be taught. being romantic is to be aware of the other persons feelings,desires,motivations and doing something in response to that.what I'd say to you is to find out what he's passionate about etc and respond to that.I know its vague, but try not to turn it into a 'game'

I have found that some people are romantic types and others just are not. I don't think it can really be taught. Hopefully, if you suggest things, they may do something nice for you after it is suggested, but most will not even take the hint. I think it is important for some and not for others. It is obviously important to you. Try telling him, hey I really need you to do this for me sometimes, just because I need to FEEL loved too. I hope he tries for you.

I think even a man can learn to be romantic, the thing is they have to WANT to be romantic. I have been married 14years and my husband doesn't have a romantic idea in his head and after YEARS of letting it bother me i finally just accetpted that he flat out wasn't going to expand the energy and gave up trying to get him to. Yes somethimes i really would like a romantic (shoot, i'd settle for a semi-romantic) gesture but the resentment i was beggining to feel would have sooner or later caused a rift that we may not have been able to overcome so i just made my peace with the fact that he isn't wired that way and isn't going to bother with it. I also quit doing little romantic things for him (not that he noticed) so at least i don't feel like i put a lot of energy into that side of marriage and get nothing in return.

Well, unfortunately, it seems odd that a relationship would flower without romance, but it works for some. Romance is important in a relationship, and I am with an amazing girl who I wish I could be with all the time, and show plenty of romance to. But it can be taught, generally self-teaching is the best way. Maybe buy a book that explores it from your side, but is interesting to him instead of trying to just talk him into it. He has to see romance in action, and if you want, maybe even watch movies that have cliche' romance in them. For my one year anniversary, I had made a heart out of red balloons on my love's ceiling, and had bought chcocolate, along with digging up mementos from when we met, and many of our first experiences. It's nice once in a while, even if it isn't a special occasion, to do something surprising.

I'm always cooking and cleaning and feel like my S/O isn't always that romantic but he's been trying, I would just make comments like oh so and so got flowers today, or went out to eat or to a movie, after awhile I think he realized that I wanted those things, not just for him to be romantic but for us to just spend time together doing something other then sit in front of the tv. He doesn't do alot of big things only once inawhile, but it's mostly the little things that count! He'll by me my favortie candybar on his way home from work, or pick me a flower from outside!