Sharing of responsiblities, do you that?

@Margarit (3677)
Philippines
October 21, 2008 10:39am CST
Hi friends, All of us siblings that are not yet married are still living in one roof in my parents house. We have assignment in paying bills and other expenses. My older sister is the one who pay water bills, my younger brother is the electric bills, my younger sister is the telephone bills, i am incharge of the grocery, my dad is incharge for other expenses in the house. I find it good for each one contributed but the same time it is unfair too for other pays less and others pays more.
1 person likes this
12 responses
@taripres (1499)
• United States
22 Oct 08
YAAY, perfecto subjecto!!!! Ok, I have a younger brother that lives with me and he does absolutely nothing! I mean, not a dish, no yard work, no mopping, sweeping, nothing! Eats the food, don't help with bills, I mean it's amazing! All I want him to do now is put his money up (if it's being saved) and get his own place, seriously! That's it, Lovem, but I can lovem in his own place also! Taripre$
@Margarit (3677)
• Philippines
23 Oct 08
Oh thats too bad for you, try to talk to him heart to heart and hear what his side why he do that to you. Maybe he has a problem that he cannot tell or maybe he need an attention. Try also to impose some of your rules to follow if he cant follow then he will suffer the consequences. thanks for responding.
@taripres (1499)
• United States
23 Oct 08
Sounds logical, but when someone is irrational, I try to avoid confrontation, that's just more undo stress I don't need! We've actually got into it numerous times and it's really not worth it. I'd rather salvage our relationship and make it pretty hard where he'll eventually leave on his own! He wants to leave but not really able to! So, it's just whatever for now! I look at it as, even if he wasn't here it still has to be done, just not as much! Taripre$
@Margarit (3677)
• Philippines
24 Oct 08
I down know what is the resaon why you avoid confrontation,but if it is hard for you to do it why not talk to somebody he trust most or somebody he respect more. It is good sometimes to here there side too and make an arragement to both of you work and be happy. I know it is very dificult to tell someone who is close minded for he will never try to understand your situation. But we will never know unless you tried it.
@ElicBxn (60894)
• United States
25 Oct 08
Well, I'm single and I've not lived in my parent's house since I was 22. I have had roommates and we divide the rent and bills. Now, before I've figured up the bills and divided it, but now we have looked at the bills and said - I'll pay this and you pay that - and when a bill is higher, one or the other will pick up something else during that time. I would go back to dividing it up if the 3rd roommate wanted to do it that way - but that would cost her a lot more than she's paying now....
@Margarit (3677)
• Philippines
25 Oct 08
I guess we should try to divided everything fairly for no one will complain later, in my situation, sometimes it become burden already if we just continue thing that seems to right at the moment but they are not. Our life is moving forward as well our needs, we have to be more careful and wise in dealing in our daily expenses especially in hard times . Thanks for sharing.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (60894)
• United States
25 Oct 08
What ever works for you and your family is great! I'm just saying what we're doing.
@Margarit (3677)
• Philippines
25 Oct 08
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Oct 08
Wow! A true to throwback to a famil working together to make it work. But I do have a question- Do you live at home with your family out of tradition or convinence? As for one paying more than another- is that out of the amount of income each person makes? Are you responsible for the grocery bill because that fits the income you make? Does your older sister pay the water bill because it fits her income? Do you see where I am going with this? If you still feel that it's unfair, talk with your family- there may be a way to work it out for everyone. One last question- do the other members of your family feel the same way?
@Margarit (3677)
• Philippines
22 Oct 08
Hi dncmanning, Well, we stay at home for tradition and at the same time for convinence too because our work place is just five minutes away from home. About paying bills, my parent did not impose us to share but it is our initiative to share with them for we have our own income already, my brother volunteer to pay the electric bill when he got a job and me before i volunteer to pay the telephone bill and the grocery because my sister is just quitting her job for a moment. After a year she got a good paying job and she said that she will pay the water bills. when my younger sister graduated and have a job i give her the responsibility to pay the telephone bills for i cannot do it anymore to do groceries and pay bill at the same time. it is more than 2 years already that we do like this, but since we do it voluntarily, i dont know if it is good to change the way we help each other. For i feel there is something wrong with it.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Oct 08
It sounds to me that you are fairly happy with the arrangement as it is and it that's the case- I agree there is no reason to change but when and if you feel it is time to adjust things, I think you should feel very comfortable with talking with your family about it. I also think its great that you are all working together that makes a family unit, much stronger. Good luck to you and your family.
@Margarit (3677)
• Philippines
24 Oct 08
thank you friend, i guess there in no constant here only change. In time i will try to make some arrangement in dealing will of responsibilities at home.
1 person likes this
@23uday (2998)
• India
25 Oct 08
HI FRIENDS every one living with parents have to share responsibilities.and have to work for the family.doing this ,we can do the work with out any one's assitance and we can become independent.and we can know about the society and the people around us in a better way. and makes one more optimistic towards life.
@Margarit (3677)
• Philippines
26 Oct 08
Yeah.. we should do that, but i have known someone that who dont like to contribute anything to their parents even they are living with them and have already a job. They are not rich but still he dont like to share. I think it is a matter of practice when you are still young. If you do it gradually then it is very easy to share when you become adult.
• United States
25 Oct 08
The way we did expenses in our house was to divide the total cost by how many were living in the house. That way everyone paid an equal amount.
@Margarit (3677)
• Philippines
25 Oct 08
Good job, atleast no one will complain for everybody contributed with the same amount , not one will question about it. As long you agree everything their will be no problem at all. Thanks for sharing.
@Shar1979 (2723)
• United States
23 Oct 08
that's what we do at my home too. we all have our own shares when it comes to family expenses. it does work good for us
@Margarit (3677)
• Philippines
23 Oct 08
Same here it works too but since our contribution is the same with each other, sometime i feel that it is unfair for it should be the same or atleast percentage to their income they contributed. thanks for responding.
@sirrob (4112)
• Philippines
21 Oct 08
now that i don't understand anymore.. in the first place who have agreed which one you pay and which one you don't? or who pays this and who pays that? how did you go over of who pays this and who pays that? in the first instance i'm sure you all talked about this situation and if you agreed in that discussion then i am puzzled why you have said that it is unfair. i believe you have some or certain basis for who pays this bill and who pays for that bill, right? unless it was just assigned to you by force. and if you want it to be fair then it would be wise that you all get the gross amount and divide it amongst all of you and in that way you contribute at the same time you have the same amount on everything. what ya' think?
@Margarit (3677)
• Philippines
22 Oct 08
hi sirrob, In the first place we do it as our initiative since we are all living in the same roof, my parent didnt force us to pay the bills at home but we do it out of love. But since now a days prices is getting higher and higher while our income is increasing very little, one can not continue to pursue what they promise, honestly my brother and i complain for the electricity bills is always going up and the grocery goods is double it prizes. I dont know if it is good to ask them for change the way we help each other and parents too. Can it be possible.
@savypat (20246)
• United States
21 Oct 08
Well you could agree to put all the expenses in a pile and each of you pay part. This would mean you would have to budget for each month to make sure you had enough. The way it is some of the bills change each month and that might be more work then you want to put into it.
@Margarit (3677)
• Philippines
22 Oct 08
Hi savpat, Well i guess you are right, so that every member in the house have it own fair share for we have almost the same income exept for my younger sister for she is just new to her job.Thanks for responding.
• Canada
21 Oct 08
would it be more fair if every member put in a set percentage of their income to cover all of the household expenses? Say everyone gives up 25% of their net earnings. Will that cover expenses? I suppose that if you don't like your current arrangements, you could live somewhere on your own and then be responsible for ALL the expenses. Examine it carefully to decide if you truly believe it is unfair.
@Margarit (3677)
• Philippines
22 Oct 08
Okay, i think i should suggest to them to have a fair share just like what you said for i feel that it is not good to continue doing it like that, for we have almost the same income in the house. Thanks for responding friend.
• China
22 Oct 08
hi friends,i think you are right.a family is made up everyone .they should contribut something to make the family good.in social,everyone have their own responsibility and familiy the same as. how many they should take on? i think analyze specifi curcumstances.
@Nhey16 (2519)
• Philippines
22 Oct 08
as a mom, i want my kids to know the meaning of sharing of responsibilities so even at their young age, i do teach them, like during meals, one would help me in preparing the table before eating. then after meals, the other one would help me in cleaning the table. at their young age, i always tell them to do so that when they grow up, they would really understand and appreciate what i was teaching them.
@missybear (11395)
• United States
21 Oct 08
I think that's a very good idea, everybody has to pay there share. Maybe you should switch the bills and you pay the phone and your brother buys groceries and so on.