Will you tell a kid in the family that there is no Santa Claus?

Philippines
October 21, 2008 8:01pm CST
I do not have a child yet but I have always wondered about this. Should kids be told that there is a Santa when in fact there is none? I mean is that not lying? Won't they be confused later in life about this lie? My mom and dad told me there is a Santa and I remember getting into fights because my friends kept on telling me that there is no Santa! I even thought when I was younger that I saw Santa. If you have a child, would you tell the child there is a Santa?
2 people like this
6 responses
@pkraj111 (2460)
• India
22 Oct 08
Nope. Let them enjoy the feeling some one else is caring for them too and wait for him. They will know once they grow up, which is more than enough.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
22 Oct 08
This was what my parents did. they just waited until we figure everything out. Though one of my siblings figured this out too, he pretended to not know the truth so he can still get the gift that he wants during Christmas. He was able to do this a really long time. Which makes me question the values a child develops over this Santa thing.
1 person likes this
@pkraj111 (2460)
• India
22 Oct 08
The feelings the child develops are case dependent. They can either know they can lie a bit and give gifts away to see others happy. Or they can simply see it as there is no problem in lying at all.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
22 Oct 08
I know, children are so difficult to predict and often times the effect of the things that happen to them as a child, manifest when they are a lot older and the things done are already difficult to undo. Oh well... I guess everything will always be left to chance.
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
22 Oct 08
When my kids were very young...under 5, i let them believe in santa. It is fun and exciting for them. After that....NO Way! I was a single mom with 4 kids. Good lord, I could never compete with some of the other parents on what they gave their kids for xmas. My kids knew that what they got for christmas on christmas morning was there becuz mom loved them and worked hard for each gift under that tree. It wasn't much on many years but at least they didn't feel that they didn't get what they wanted because "santa didn't think they were good"!! I honestly think the whole "Santa" thing ought to end by age 3 or 4. There is much more to christmas than the gifts.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
22 Oct 08
I agree! I am curious though, how did you tell your kids at age 3 or 4 that there really is no Santa? How did they react? What were their questions if you still remember, I mean this is really hard to tell them, it's like destroying a dream that they have is it not? I remember how much I believed in santa before and if my mom told me that there was really none, I would have been crushed. My mom let me find out on my own. I found the stash of gifts accidentally. :D I think it would be fun playing Santa too! :)
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
22 Oct 08
it wasn't hard at all. They had friends that got much more expensive gifts than they did and the theory is that "if you are "good" santa will bring you what you want. Its pretty simple...I did not want them to feel that t hey were "bad" jy\ust because they did bit get all that they wanted nor did I want them to wrongly feel that their more affluent friends were better than they were....they were not. My kids were actually relieved to know the truth.
• Philippines
22 Oct 08
It is very comforting to know that they were even comforted by the thought that Santa was not real. You are right, not telling them might indeed give them the idea that they are doing something wrong.
• Indonesia
22 Oct 08
If you had children, you would have to deal with small lies just to make them happy or to restrict their hypreactivities. So when they get older and have better understanding, just tell them the truth. As for Santa Claus, you can start by telling them a story about St. Nicholas and how people would continue his good deed. I'm sure they will understand.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
22 Oct 08
That's a very nice story! I like that! Maybe I will tell my future kids that!
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Oct 08
No I wouldnt ....let them build beautiful childhood memories...the warm milk and cookies, the tinsel on the tree, the music that fills the house, these are wonderful things for a child. Stories to to tell their own children one day.
• Philippines
27 Oct 08
Come to think of it, I do have fond memories of my childhood Christmases! I found out about it later on though. Thanks for sharing!
@Shar1979 (2723)
• United States
23 Oct 08
i didnt tell her. she found it out herself. they had a christmas party in school and she pay attention to looking at santa claus. it was a bit idiotic for the school staff as they had a female santa claus. my daughter says it's not santa claus coz it's a female
• Philippines
27 Oct 08
Haha! I pity that woman whom they coerced to wear a fake beard! :)
@JoyfulOne (6243)
• United States
22 Oct 08
I think most parents give thought to this. This is what I did when my children were little, and it worked really well. I let them believe in the Santa myth. Then one day the oldest came home from kindergarten and said that somebody on the bus said there was no Santa. I just smiled and said, sure there is, and now that you know the Santa secret, it is YOUR turn to be somebody elses Santa. In the beginning Mom & Dad are your Santa, then when you find out, you become your sisters secret Santa and get to see the joy in her eyes. I gave her $5.00 and took her to the dollar store and told her it was her job now to fill her sister's stocking for Christmas morning. This made her so happy you couldn't believe lol. She chose all kinds of stuff to put in that stocking, wrapped it and all. She still loved the Santa myth, especially since she got to be Santa herself. I think it all depends on how you handle it...if you treat it as a lie, it's seen as something negative, but if you put a positive spin on it the transition isn't bad at all. At 30 they still have fond memories and pictures of them filling stockings for others, and cherish those moments when they got to be another relatives special secret Santa.
• Philippines
22 Oct 08
Wow!!! This is a very good spin! I will use it someday on my children because this teaches them how to give! Amazing! You make such a good parent! I congratulate you because i do believe you did such a great job!